Me and Parvati

Never mind saving money, ye selfish young buggers, keep on working, I need someone to provide for a debauched old age.

Quite right Slapp Happy (or Bongwater) - The Drum

The British civil service can't buy anything more technologically advanced than a pencil without fucking it up. I guarantee that they'll spend billions and end up with a system with the functionality of a knackered gameboy. I want to know how to get on their approved suppliers list so's I can bid for the job. And if once more in my lifetime some smug twat says 'if you've done nothing wrong, you've nothing to worry about', I'm coming round to banjo them. That's not the point.

Right, that's jist aboot enough o' that. Hand me that stuff there, aye, now, blowlamp? yep machete? fine and sharp, ball-pein hemmer? perfect; I'll leave the chainsaw for noo. Right, that's me awa inte toon, see ye later!

Aye, make the best of it, and have a good gig(s)!

Bonzo Dog Band - Ali Baba's Camel

So at last they get to knock the spire down. Barratts tried to get permission to flatten it thirty years ago, but they were refused due to the unique design and construction. So they left it derelict for a decade so that it was rotten and crumbling, then tried again. Again no. So they developed what is there now (Exodus etc.) and left the spire. However, looks like they've made it this time. Arses.

NOTE: Never spill Daniels' pint.

Lou Rawls - Let's Burn Down The Cornfield

Chuck Berry - Back in the USA

Los Bravos - Black is Black

The sound of eyes widening and sphincters snapping tight...

Me and Parvati Click to view my test results He's nae happy, is he? Hmmm, bit worrying, this.

Every time a music-lover denies their stardom' date=' a shite bands' tourbus crashes. No? OK, just forget them, they will fade from memory. Believe me, my children, many are those that once would be stars, and are now asking 'D'you want fries with that?' But..... They [i']will be able to say 'I was once in a band y'know, played Moshulu. Yeah, really!' Feel sorry for their kids. Every New Year, out comes the guitar : 'No no, Dad, not again!'

Now, chaps, you're not taking this seriously...

Ray Price - Heartache(s) By The Number

David Essex - Hold Me Close

Used to be a doctor, I think around Oban, called 'D. Duck'. And yes, you're right, that's what his first name was.....