calum

Ace Have the CD's all gone like?

So when are they going to appear on Skins?

If this has to do with a story I think I remember hearing, could you nae just make sure you're facing away from people/things? Anyway, surely spewing is "banter"? And we all know how you love "banter".

I would. In fact, I will. Charge more, you charitable clown!

I'd imagine "they" finally caught up with him. He's probably being executed in Bolivia as we speak. This whole episode just goes to show what a diverse range of idiots there are in the world.

Don't know why but Tonic reminds me of a swimming pool. Terrible place. I also fucking detest Paramount for reasons best kept between me, my face and the bouncers. I refuse to set foot in the Bobbin. And I'm a student. I think the degree of "banter" would be too much for me.

I once borrowed a guitar from the other guitarist in my band due to a broken string, then proceeded to bleed all over it - that's poor gig etiquette.

Worst pitches ever. I mind playing on the 7-a-side pitches there and falling into potholes. And people wonder why Scottish footballers lack technical ability.

Never recovered from getting humped by the Dons.

I may be missing something here, but why not go to a shop? Anyway, in the meantime, why don't you watch a Venetian Snares/Tom & Jerry mash-up?

A friend of a friend had a semi-similar accident when skateboarding. Think it was at the stairs on Broad Street, his board landed at the bottom of the stairs in a vertical position, he landed scrotum-frist on the upright board, split his ballsack open. Stinger.

Misuse/disgustingly excessive use of ellipsis annoys me more than it should.

Nope, not punks, just punx. Thanks for keeping an eye on me though.

I fucking wish I could fucking tell it like it fucking is on internet fucking forums and fucking not give a fucking fuck what like you punx. Cunt is another naughty word I'd like to be brave enough to type. Sadly the spirit of punk isn't in me. I'll tell you what, Jakey, you run along, develop some argumentative skills that extend beyond "you don't know what you're talking about because I have chest hair" and "", grow up and stop taking juvenile "take THAT society!!!" glee in writing songs about hitting women, and then you can come back and call me names. You punx are all so frightfully rude. ""

He scored in my first Dons game against Celtic in '95. Great view of his glorious control and volley from Section Y.

Agreed. Showed more passion for Umbro than any other player I've seen.

You're right, what was I thinking? The Grammar produces all the intellectuals in Moray.

Apparently Foster's quite a bright guy, so he probably just can't resist telling Calderwood he's an idiot.

I see. I thought you were speaking about a pet hate of insufficient or defective female copulatory organs. Disappointment.

Are inadequate cunts a separate pet hate?

I think I do owe you an apology for calling you an elitist though. Having seen your band, I'm sure you're right - there's no way in hell anyone could possibly think you're part of any sort of elite. And actually, I do know what I'm talking about. Me and my friend, the establishment, always know what we're talking about, haven't you worked that one out yet? Do you have any idea just how hilarious this is? Grow up min, you clown.

To be fair, I've regularly said I don't like Miller's face.

Hun on Kenny Miller: "I don't care how many goals he scores, I just don't like him." I wonder why that might be...

I was too busy urinating and making smartarse remarks that only I found amusing to ask for one. Also you seemed distressed by cutting your fingers

I enjoyed Cap Sante and was very amused by the guitarist's ( who I met but whose name I can't remember, sorry!) face on the rare occasions when he cocked up Good first gig, good tunes.