Sue Denim..

Big Daddy Rocks!

And let us not forget the equally as funny "Shore Lane" modification. Sue

These little gems have appeared on an offshore toilet.... "Don't beam me up Scottie, I'm having a shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii " Above the toilet roll.... "Celtic Team photos, take one and wipe to develop." Sue

Those photos are ace. You should email them to the Evening Express highlighting the dangers of walking across the road with a box on your head. Sue

I spotted one of these on a wall in Glasgow. The Hoover vandal gets around a bit. Sue

Typical. I don't come home until the 22nd. It'll probably be talk like a homo day then or something.

And someone keeps scribbling what looks like Cthulhu on all the walls too. (For example see next to the Club art vandalism on Union Street.) ...... next to the dodgy Ganga leaf!

Now although I would never condone vandalism of any kind I have to laugh at the following spotted in Aberdeen. "Make Soup Not War" Spray painted on a wall leading to Dee Street.

And there was me thinking that websites pretty much looked after themselves. Does one have to turn up to their computer wearing a suit or is it more of an overalls and hardhat kind of job? Sue

I'm there. Mr Potato head Rocks!

The Priory has to be the biggest pile of shite for bar I have ever frequented. Who the hell designed it? Someone who used to send lab-rats through mazes? And those lights..... Yuk. There is nothing nice about this bar. The best thing they can do is build a proper 2nd floor, remove all the seating and start again, get rid of the tree trunk as you walk in. Failing that, they could just close it forever and use the space to make a decent large restaurant on the street.

As much as I enjoy the Bonzo's music, I can't imagine listening to it in the Moorings. (Perhaps 'The Strain' would be the only one.) My albums of choice would be; New Model Army - History (Or Strange Brotherhood) Type-O-Negative - Life is Killing Me Paradise Lost - Draconian Times Cradle of Filth - Midian Slayer - God Hates us All ZZ Top - Greatest Hits Depressive Age - Songs for the Blue Times .....and Lisa wants some Rachael Stevens.

What annoys me is that I'm a cigar smoker. I don't smoke at home and only really enjoy a cigar with a drink, which is why I enjoy going to the pub. It takes a lot longer to smoke than a cigarette and it should be enjoyed rather than quickly puffed on whilst standing in a pub doorway. I have the feeling that no matter what the arguement, the law will be passed as we all know that smoking is bad for us. And is it me or does it seem that it is really only the non-smokers who tend to stand up and be counted when an anti-smoking bill is passed? Smokers just tend to sit back and hope everything blows over. I'm guilty of that too. Those afternoon in the bar will never be the same again. How many times have I sat in the Moorings bar when there have only been about 3 of us in all afternoon (all of us smokers) and the smoke really isn't an issue. Once Britains pubs are 100% non smoking they will probably allow certain pubs to purchase a 'smoking licence' at great expense. You read it here first. Sue

Here's a scenario.... Nip outside for a fag. Can't take drink with you as it's against town by-laws. Drink gets spiked. Get bum-fucked World ends..... or something. All because of Mr McConnell. Sue

And also ensure that all vocalists sing within the frequency of 300hz - 3Khz otherwise those in the audience will not hear you. (Unless you are a bat or something) Sue

Ahh yes' date=' I almost forgot about old leatherface. I haven't seen the Doctor for a while now so I'm assuming that he's regenerated and taken a new assistant. [i']Sue

There is also an Elizabeth Taylor lookalike working in WHSmiths in the St Nicholas centre. She's really quite nice and always says hello. Sue

Whatever happened to the mime artist woman with the squeeker? Whatever happened to the beardy tramp that used to sit on the bench outside the 24 hour shop and pissed in the corner where the taxis wait?

I'm starting off with.... The Lay Preacher with his mobile disco outside Marks and Spencers.

Sheesh, I thought you were in your 50's!

Weren't the council going to demolish that old council building and build some sort of Civic centre in its place for folks to bum about in when the weather's nice? Sue

And the funniest part of this Movie screening idea is that when someone needs to go to the toilet they could get heckled by the viewers. Sue

I was never much of a Rainbow fan. I preferred the antics of Mr Ben. Does anyone remember a really shite Childrens BBC show called "Chocky" about some diamond shaped alien thing? Or perhaps Ludwig the violin playing egg thing? Oh god, get me a life! Sue