Mr.Mike

those magazines usually come with a free collectable: (yep kids here comes the obvious...) "Issue #1 comes with these amazing free genital warts and this fantastic display case. Over the next 8 weeks you can collect all of the major STD's and find out fascinating facts about the bacteria that causes them and the filthy sluts that give you them."

how do you get a gay guy to shag a woman? stick a fistful of shite up her fud.

damn right... even more so when all you wanted to do in the first place was paint...

condaleeza rice vs Hill Clinton... black woman versus white woman? in the states? surely that's far to much like equal rights for the god-tossing, redneck-sympathising, foreigner hating god ole U.S of A? if Jed Bush even considers the position i'm leaving for an island in the south pacific. If anyone fancies trying to live there with me feel free, but if you tell anyone where we are I'll butcher you...

BUT if you had written CARP and it was surrounded by other words whose letters had been mixed up then your brain would assume that this word was mixed up as well and thus there could only be one other word... or at least that's what I'm thinking.

i can say in all honesty, the thought of George Bush and Gordon Brown basically running the planet REALLY has me scared, there's just something about handing control over to the world's dumbest spokesperson and a man who looks like he could very well be the son of lucifer... roll on Hillary and Charles Kennedy... shame it won't happen.

what's that song they sang that's got the lyric "shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather" or something along those lines? it's amazing but I've no idea what it's called, all I know is that it's from the "andy warhol" album.

agreed, scottish football needs a massive overhaul to bring us up to speed with the way the rest of europe plays, if we don't do that, we've no chance of competing with them.

you're taking the piss right?

Strachan would be perfect. I mean PERFECT, he understands the scottish game completely, used to play for scotland, commands respect and has proved he knows how to manage a footbal team. He also cares about the team (I get the impression Vogts didn't for some reason...) except He's got a presenting contract with the BBC and the job's not the most tempting right now...

Jim Morrison was no more self indulgent than Lennon (imo). in fact a lot of Lennon's later "stunts" seem to be a bit morrisonesque now that I think about it. but it's still gotta be Jimmy, although now I think about it, James Brown did invent one genre and was responsible for the creation of the most popular/influential genre of recent times... he should definately be in there too.

well my heart says Hendrix, but my head says the Stones... and the rest of me wonders why A) the beach boys went in over the fucking DOORS!?! B) U2 are in the 5 founding members? if there was any justice in this world then they'd be banned from even entering... I blame that cunt Theakston still the whole series has made me realise how many truly great artists there have been in the past 50 years, especially when you consider there are a lot of bands that won't have gone in because they're too underground (the ramones for example)

just wondering because I'm considering buying it. is it easy to use? am I going to need a whole heap of plugins to use it? if you're not fan why not? and can you recommend any more suitable programs for someone who wants to start making their own music on a computer but doesn't really know a great deal about the whole thing?

yeah 5-0... amazing what can happen when a game's referee'd by a man who has a track record of fucking up during Rangers games and is probably the least respected official in Britain, still it's Rangers and as EVERY Aberdeen fan knows it's still going to take a long time before we can beat those Hun bastards again... which is going to make it all the sweeter when we finally get round to gubbing you...

well? what d'you reckon? personally i'd say "all along the watchtower" by hendrix... genius.

are they not wrestlers now or something? I remember when I was wee a guy I knew genuinely believed they were going to kill themselves after their 10th album or something... ...that was a bit silly really. As far as I remembered they weren't so hot music wise anyway.