Metarie

Why did you clean the day before your cleaner arrived?

Rubber gloves my dear. Preferably the ones with the marabou feathers, makes you feel like Kim and/or Aggie. But I do love how Barry Scott is unashamedly just taking the piss now.

Everytime I see it in the supermarket I'm convinced that's what the label actually says. Barry Scott is pure comedy but I'm not a fan of the product. Maybe my soap scum is scummier than other people's but I find that Mr Muscle is much more effective at cleaning my bathroom. Fuck, I'll do anything to avoid studying

And you have better shoes than most women, you're just out to make us feel bad about ourselves aren't you? SpanishArmada - We're talking about what Western society deems attractive, not the plight of starving children. Not every thread has to be about something important, it was a lighthearted conversation so there's no need to become all Geldolf-ish and thrust images from UNICEF down our throats.

There are 2 sides to the menu, literally. On one side are the daily specials complete with soup of the day and on the other are sandwiches and baked potatoes, side orders and the kids menu. And for the record, the tree does do moroccan tagine every now and again and you really should try the burgers, they're fucking gorgeous, especially the apple and pork ones. Just don't go on a saturday because it's family orientated then and there are heaps of little brats running madly about the place. Ack. Apologies. I feel like every time you say something about the lemon tree I'm the one jumping in to disagree with you. It's nothing personal, I'm rather protective of the place, especially when the complaints are unjustified. I agree with you on the website and brochure thing though, the times for doors and licensing hours are often wrong too.

As ever someone feels the need to belittle a perfectly harmless conversation. A conversation men and women were contributing to by the way.

the thread was prompted by an article in the Sun, it was never going to be discussing a particularly hard hitting issue.

Ack, yes. There is something distressing about bedding a guy who has pointier hip bones than you. Distressing and rather painful the next morning too. And theres no fun in wearing your boyfriend's shirt if it's the right size.

Snap. My mum loves him too, she has to be the only 50-something year old listening to Danko, in Aberdeen at least. And he may come across as a cocky bastard but he's written some ace songs about break ups from a girl's pov. 'Strut' is an awesome song to listen to when you feel all shitty and stuff. So he's a cocky git who is in touch with his feminine side. And he has an obscenely long tongue.

It was a bit of a poor turnout but it's quality not quantity boys. And it wasn't quite the spectacular show of self backslapping as in previous years (well, not all the awards anyway...). Good to see that there were some suprises though and I thought Amplificto were amazing. And Flash taught me some self defense moves which was very illuminating. And painful.

Don't we go through this every time the clocks change? The time offically changes at 2am, which is the latest the Tree is open til, so it makes no difference to the license at the Lemon Tree. Other places I'm sure will try to close an hour early or sneak an uber late finish as usual but will probably end up getting their knuckles slapped.

Yes. Those are the reasons you're looking forward to them so much this year. Just a heads up, looks like most tickets are going to bought on the night, if you don't want to be standing in a MASSIVE queue Saturday night, buy them in advance. Just a friendly warning because you just *know* the weather is going to be shit because everyone will be all tarted up.

I don't see what the problem is with shops using a size 10 model. A few years ago that was the ideal size to be and it's just shrunk ever since, to the extent that it's a news worthy event when Dorothy Perkins or whatever uses a size 12 model. It's ridiculous. No matter how much weight I lose I'd never be a size 0. My hips wouldn't allow it thank god, even if I was down to skin and bones my hips would probably still be about 34". Do guys get the same pressure from the media about their physique?

That sums it up nicely. He's a god among scrawny wannabe mortals. I'm eternally grateful to you for introducing me to his stuff You can call it cocoa butter or you can call it white chocolate but baby, I just call it delicious.

How can it be decent if the story is underwhelming? Surely the story is the most important part?

For the face, I'd have to say Beth, but for the body it's going to be Kate. There's a lot to be said for being a big gal, proud of yourself and orientation and whatever, but if you're going to be doing a photoshoot for your album cover, at least shave your pits. I don't care if you're gay or straight, fuzzy underarms are not cool or sexy.

Ha, no. Well, he broke it years ago apparently but that's it. Not for lack of trying though, he seems pretty keen to defend my honour whenever possible, bless him.

ball kicking is always effective, but strangely it didn't even occur to me. I whacked him across the side of the face with my fist and he didn't even flinch. I like the idea of being able to assume some martial arts pose and muttering 'you wanna dance, fatboy?' but that'd probably do more harm than good.

What kind and where should I investigate such things? I've fucking had it with drunken reprobates trying (and sometimes managing) to cop a feel so I want to know that, should I be in that situation again, I can do something about it. Something that doesn't involve my very chivalrous boyfriend ending up with a broken nose because he's standing up for me. That's very sweet and admittedly rather sexy, but I want to be able to do it myself.

I'm a little irritated by the voice over clling the moving 'TMNT'. Are people so lazy that they can't be arse saying 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'? But I don't really care about the film. I though the original was entertaining enough.

Fucking hell, steady on there. All I'm saying is that there are many different reasons why a band aren't rebooked. I don't know much about the procedure so I'll keep quiet about that but I work at the Tree and I can say that there are a great many bands who have been on the road for years who are notoriously rude and obnoxious to staff in venues. Jesus. If you feel that strongly then why not email the Lemon Tree and ask for their return? I'm on your side here, don't bite my head off. You'd think you were in the damned band or something.

I'm working my way through a rather bizarre book of poetry called 'Flowers for Hitler' by Leonard Cohen as well as assorted poems by Yeats, Plath and Auden for la disertation.

i still can't believe you've only spilled the pints once in all the years of Flying Circus/hots and giggles. It really was inevitable at some point.

Umm...The Lovebites were supposed to be playing the Lemon Tree as well as part of some night to raise awareness about drunken violence and apparently they've split up and are sending the lead singer's new band in their place. Unless there's another band called The Lovebites in which case ignore me. But might be worth investigating.

are you doing most shaggable/most punchable scenester again? I seem to remember drunkenly scrawling something about that on a ballot slip back in December but hopefully it's not my only chance to vote cause I've changed my mind.