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Lemonade

Coffee Wankers

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I hate that so many places make Americanos so strong that they just taste horrible and bitter and strong  and make you wince. I usually have to order lattes and cappuccino when I'm out, which I don't really like buy the Americanos are just awful. Always made with such dark roast beans too. I like to be able to pick out the flavours in my coffee. I've been enjoying my Aeropress lately. I've found a technique that really works for me and produces beautiful full-bodied coffee with so many nuances of flavour. A colleague made fun of me this morning for saying my coffee tasted like hot, buttered roast. It did. I'm not even sorry. I had a bag of Lavazza Oro pre-ground last week, in my French press it just tasted like generic dark roast coffee, out of the Aeropress it was dripping with caramel flavour and so sweet. It reminded me of those Reisen chews. After a so so start with the Aeropress I've decided it's the boy. Explore different techniques and find one that works for you. 

 

I'm getting a burr grinder for Christmas too, to replace my blade grinder. It should grind more evenly, and the blade grinder heats up with the friction and affects the taste of the coffee. 

Edited by Lemonade

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20 minutes ago, Lemonade said:

I hate that so many places make Americanos so strong that they just taste horrible and bitter and strong  and make you wince. I usually have to order lattes and cappuccino when I'm out, which I don't really like buy the Americanos are just awful. Always made with such dark roast beans too. I like to be able to pick out the flavours in my coffee. I've been enjoying my Aeropress lately. I've found a technique that really works for me and produces beautiful full-bodied coffee with so many nuances of flavour. A colleague made fun of me this morning for saying my coffee tasted like hot, buttered roast. It did. I'm not even sorry. I had a bag of Lavazza Oro pre-ground last week, in my French press it just tasted like generic dark roast coffee, out of the Aeropress it was dripping with caramel flavour and so sweet. It reminded me of those Reisen chews. After a so so start with the Aeropress I've decided it's the boy. Explore different techniques and find one that works for you. 

 

I'm getting a burr grinder for Christmas too, to replace my blade grinder. It should grind more evenly, and the blade grinder heats up with the friction and affects the taste of the coffee. 

It wasn't Lavazza Oro, it was Lavazza Cereja Passita. Omg, noob. 

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1 hour ago, James Broonbreed said:

Yeah, I was totally gonna call you out on your major Lavazza fuck up there.

What a pure roaster, mate.

It was supposed to say hot buttered toast too. Not roast. Teach me not to reread when posting from a phone. 

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From what I remember of my days in the torture house, sounds like they haven't recalibrated the grinder when a new barista goes onto the machine, which they're meant to - otherwise the coffee can taste burnt or watery, depending on how fine the grind is.  Also, the water is probably too hot and it's burning the coffee. 

Basically, staff dont know what they're doing so either go elsewhere or keep buying lattes. I go to starbucks now because they're all lovely and white mochas are a great sugar/caffiene hit.  

I am considering getting an aero press, heard lots of good things! 

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There's a few places where I go regularly that are absolutely spot on with their coffees... Southside Roasters, Riverhill Cafe and Gordon Street Coffee would be my first port of call.

If I ever end up anywhere else when I'm out and about, it's a total gamble. You can usually spot shit-houses a mile off. Restaurants are often surprisingly good too.

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A good rule of thumb for coffee shops - in my experience - is the comfier the seating, the worse the coffee.

Chains can just go and fuck themselves.

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2 hours ago, James Broonbreed said:

A good rule of thumb for coffee shops - in my experience - is the comfier the seating, the worse the coffee.

Chains can just go and fuck themselves.

Absolutely right. I try to avoid chains when I can. 

9 hours ago, Scubby said:

From what I remember of my days in the torture house, sounds like they haven't recalibrated the grinder when a new barista goes onto the machine, which they're meant to - otherwise the coffee can taste burnt or watery, depending on how fine the grind is.  Also, the water is probably too hot and it's burning the coffee. 

Basically, staff dont know what they're doing so either go elsewhere or keep buying lattes. I go to starbucks now because they're all lovely and white mochas are a great sugar/caffiene hit.  

I am considering getting an aero press, heard lots of good things! 

Aeropress makes amazing coffee but it's frustratingly inconsistent. The slightest change in water temperature, amount of coffee, brewing time etc can alter the taste significantly. I tried twice to recreate my amazing Lavazza that tasted of caramel for my wife today and couldn't come close. It's still a super cup of coffee though. Worth picking one up and they're only 30 quid.

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Krispy Kreme is pretty much the only chain coffee I get these days. It's rather good.

And you can get a doughnut whilst you're in there.

 

Costa is the worst of the coffee chains IMO. I'd rather have McDonalds coffee than Costa, though tbf McDonald's coffee is surprisingly not shit.

 

I don't buy much coffee when I'm out these days anyway. I'd like to have a fuck-coffee-chains policy, but every indie place I go to around here is always pretty shite. Whilst Starbucks and Nero are probably tax-dodging zero-hour shysters, the coffee is reasonable and the service is usually quick even when it's busy.

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Thankfully, coffee seems to be taken fairly seriously in the indie cafes in glesgay - after a wee bit of trial and error.

I do occasionally yearn for some of these hip indie places to get a big, fuck off wingback chesterfield to sit and read my book on though.

Edited by James Broonbreed

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4 hours ago, James Broonbreed said:

No offence, but you're truly a coffee wanker.

Just a guy who really likes flan casing. 

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might get one of those aeropress hingies. I've been using a single cup travel cafetiere thing which is shit coz i've got to scrape a layer of rogue grounds off the top of my coffee before i drink it. Must be a bad seal. It's a bodum so shouldn't be as shit as it is. Used to use a stovetop espresso maker but i've lost it (gave up drinking coffee for about a year). Is the aeropress better than that? if so, how?

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Once I pull my finger oot and get a grinder, I'm just going to go for one of these sorts of things;

51MQlHpOYEL._SL500_AC_SS350_.jpg

I used to like my moka pot but cleaning it was a total bag of dicks.

Edited by James Broonbreed

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8 hours ago, ca_gere said:

might get one of those aeropress hingies. I've been using a single cup travel cafetiere thing which is shit coz i've got to scrape a layer of rogue grounds off the top of my coffee before i drink it. Must be a bad seal. It's a bodum so shouldn't be as shit as it is. Used to use a stovetop espresso maker but i've lost it (gave up drinking coffee for about a year). Is the aeropress better than that? if so, how?

I've never used a stove top so can't compare, but I am a fan of Aeropress. It makes a really tasty, super smooth cup of coffee, and  in under 2 minutes. No spitting out coffee grounds. It's excellent for bringing out the flavours in coffee and cuts out a lot of the bitter flavours. Super easy to clean too, just a rinse under the tap. Cons are inconsistency (though that might just be me) and it only makes one cup at a time. 

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Them Aeropress contraptions, does it just make one cup? Every pic I see always seems to be just above one cup. Can you get a jumbo one that brews into a pot of some kind? Or can it make more than one cup itself?

Tell me everything about how they work. Spare no detail. Diagrams and pie charts are also acceptable.

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10 hours ago, Soda Jerk said:

Them Aeropress contraptions, does it just make one cup? Every pic I see always seems to be just above one cup. Can you get a jumbo one that brews into a pot of some kind? Or can it make more than one cup itself?

Tell me everything about how they work. Spare no detail. Diagrams and pie charts are also acceptable.

Essentially its a plastic pipe with a plunger on the end that goes inside another pipe with numbers on it. The standard method of brewing in it is to add scoop of coffee (you get a scoop), fill it with water to the 2 mark (half way), stir for 10 seconds, leave it sitting for 20 seconds, then put the plunger in and push it down, pushing the water through the grounds. You have to push quite hard, so it's actually using pressure to extract the coffee instead of the water  just sitting in the grounds. This gives it a different flavour to standard cafetiere coffee or drip. You've then got an espresso and you can add hot water to your taste. You can use two scoops and fill it to four, and make two espressos, but that's your limit. That method is fine and it makes a great coffee in under a minute. However people soon discovered there's loads of different methods that each produce a drastically different flavour, depending on the grind or flavour of your coffee, or what kind of coffee you're actually making, there's a few things you can change, including turning it upside down and letting the coffee soak longer, wetting the filter (there's some debate over that), pushing for longer and with less pressure etc. There's honest to god recipes. 

https://handground.com/grind/66-recipes-for-amazing-aeropress-coffee

My method is to start with it inverted, and the plunger at 4. Add coffee and add water up to the 2. Start a timer, stir it and let it sit and let the crema form. At 40 seconds top the water up to the 0 mark at the top of the chamber. Stir and let sit again. Screw on the lid and the filter. At 1.20 put it on the cup and push slowly for 40 seconds. Each step takes 40 seconds and I get a nice medium strong coffee. It seems to extract more bitterness the longer you brew it for, the standard 20 second method is amazingly smooth,  but I like a little acidity. 

I'm no coffee / Aeropress expert, this is just my experience with it. They cost < 30 quid, you can't really go wrong imo  

Edited by Lemonade

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