Guest E.C Posted June 13, 2012 Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 yeah, just an online dating site. american. that way, it's a lot more effort for them to track me down and rape/kill me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightfoot Posted June 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 I really hope you don't find anyone based on that god-awful patter.I'm averaging one-a-month since I joined. It comes and goes in cycles. Sometimes its like a poontang desert. Nothing for weeks on end. Nada, zip, zero, nul points, nienete. Then, for no apparent reason, its like I'm George Clooney's younger, better looking brother. I'm fighting them off with a stick.I've had a couple of scares though, mostly with embarassing rashes on my bell end. Nothing that a trip to the chemist wont take care of. I'm a walking, talking festival of STI's!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flights Posted June 13, 2012 Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoonie Posted June 13, 2012 Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 This thread is the best thing that's ever happened to the internet. More! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bob Knob Posted June 13, 2012 Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 i made an okcupid profile and set myself to gay and loads of middle aged men buy me stuff for free. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Milner Posted June 13, 2012 Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 I like this lightfoot character, more threads like this please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootray Posted June 13, 2012 Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 I'm not entirely sure if Lightfoot is being truthful or not. I'd like to think so though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightfoot Posted June 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 I'm not entirely sure if Lightfoot is being truthful or not. I'd like to think so though.Scouts Honour Scootray. I'm on MatchMeNowNaughty.co.uk. I was on MatchMeNow.co.uk and MaritalAffair.co.uk previouslyHands up though, a few of themhave been absolute f'ing growlers. But a hole's a hole, eh?I'm in a comp with a guy in the office here; he's a rail buff (total nerd/geek/loser hybrid) and will spend his weekend travelling by rail across Scotland - just for the 'thrill' (direct quote). Anyway this nerd aims to get to 50,ooo rail miles before I bag fifty chicks online. He's at 8000 mls. I'm at 28 notches. The race is on.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gypsum_Fantastic Posted June 13, 2012 Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 Scouts Honour Scootray. I'm on MatchMeNowNaughty.co.uk. I was on MatchMeNow.co.uk and MaritalAffair.co.uk previouslyHands up though, a few of themhave been absolute f'ing growlers. But a hole's a hole, eh?I'm in a comp with a guy in the office here; he's a rail buff (total nerd/geek/loser hybrid) and will spend his weekend travelling by rail across Scotland - just for the 'thrill' (direct quote). Anyway this nerd aims to get to 50,ooo rail miles before I bag fifty chicks online. He's at 8000 mls. I'm at 28 notches. The race is on....Do you get some kind of commission? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightfoot Posted June 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 Do you get some kind of commission?Not a commission as such. But there are, shall we say, 'fringe benefits'. Every time I bag a chick at her place I always try and nick a pair of her skimpies as a trophy. This usually happens when she's downstairs making the tea, having a piss or brushing 'product' out of her hair. I've got quite a collection now. Some quite classy gear. Others bog-standard Markies or George at Asda stuff. One tart I drilled in Falkirk cottoned on after I'd got home and sent me a text saying if I didn't return her gear she'd report me to the police for stealing! That was a close call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted June 13, 2012 Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 Try Plenty of Fish - I hear that's crawling with easy women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightfoot Posted June 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 Try Plenty of Fish - I hear that's crawling with easy women.Plenty of Fish is free, so that means you get all the unemployed and unemployable cooncil estate skanks on there. Not so much "Friends-With-Benefits" as "Fiends-ON-Benefits". OK if you have zero standards. But there's a huge cross section online. I've dated (but not drilled) Tesco check-out girls and international opera singers! I've got a 1:2 hit rate - i.e, I bag half the birds I date. That's almost as good a goals-per-game ratio as Lionel Messi!Thing is, most of these dating websites are merged anyway: PoF, Single With Kids, Uniform Dating, Kissing Gate, all the radio station dating websites. So I get emails fae bints in Devon who are on WestCountryFM Dating.com asking if I'd like to meet up! Aye, that's right quine, like I'm gonna drive 500 mls to St Ives for a shag! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted June 13, 2012 Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 With free ones, there's a good chance people will sign up "for a laugh". The ones you pay for, they are ones swarming with people desperate and committed to finding a man or woman. I suppose it's up to you to decide which of those you prefer. I imagine pay-for dating sites are chock-full of bunny-boilers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flights Posted June 13, 2012 Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 This thread has got well creepy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted June 13, 2012 Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 I'm in a comp with a guy in the office here; he's a rail buff (total nerd/geek/loser hybrid) and will spend his weekend travelling by rail across Scotland - just for the 'thrill' (direct quote). Anyway this nerd aims to get to 50,ooo rail miles before I bag fifty chicks online. He's at 8000 mls. I'm at 28 notches. The race is on....I can only imagine that Sean William Scott will be playing you and Eddie Kay Thomas will be playing your colleague in the movie. You know, it seems like a right laugh at the moment but I imagine you'll find yourself regretting your little arrangement when that one girl you really like inadvertently finds out about your little arrangement (don't worry, you'll get her back in the end). On the flip side for your friend his threesome in the train toilet with two Swedish supermodels will change his outlook. The good thing is that you'll both learn a lot about yourself, and each other, in this wonderful new gross out comedy "Peter and Lightfoot: On the Rails" 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightfoot Posted June 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 This thread has got well creepy...There are some who would say this thread STARTED OFF well creepy.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightfoot Posted June 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 I can only imagine that Sean William Scott will be playing you and Eddie Kay Thomas will be playing your colleague in the movie. You know, it seems like a right laugh at the moment but I imagine you'll find yourself regretting your little arrangement when that one girl you really like inadvertently finds out about your little arrangement (don't worry, you'll get her back in the end). On the flip side for your friend his threesome in the train toilet with two Swedish supermodels will change his outlook. The good thing is that you'll both learn a lot about yourself, and each other, in this wonderful new gross out comedy "Peter and Lightfoot: On the Rails"Nah, I think Colin Farrell would play me, and the guy who played the long-haired scientist who retro-engineered the alien spaceship in Area51 in "Independence Day" would play Alasdair... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flights Posted June 13, 2012 Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 It started off as if you were looking for advice about online dating and what other peoples opinions of it. It has progressively gotten creepier and creepier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Milner Posted June 13, 2012 Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 Post of the year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted June 13, 2012 Report Share Posted June 13, 2012 "poontang"? "drill? "a hole's a hole"? You're a real charmer Lightfoot. Keep it up.Mercifully, closed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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