DiscoCitizen

I'd pay good money to see that!!!!!!!

I did that to the kid next door to me...except she didn't have a cushion!!!! That'll teach the little bastard not to use my back garden as a fucking shortcut!!!!!

Davina McColl David Dickenson The Eggheads Gok Wan Jamie Oliver The cast of Eastenders Micheal McIntyre Jason Manford Ainsley Harriot If any or all of the above checked out, I'd skip down Union Street - tackle out!!!!

I fell off a stool in Peep Peeps a couple of years ago and knocked myself out.....but I was very, veeeryy drunk....haven't learned anything from the experience and still get blindingly drunk on a regular basis (money and bird permitting).

I went for a pint in the 524 a couple of months ago, I was searched at the door for a weapon, didn't have one and was given a gun!! Darwin searched for many years to find ''The Missing Link''.......shoulda went into the 524!!

Just a typically quiet weekend full of quaint misunderstandings, friendly banter and a good dose of racist violence.....

I went to Northfield Academy......what's a book???

I dreamt the other night that I was eating a giant marshmallow.....and when I woke up my pillow was gone......and my telly, hifi, dvd player, fridge, and about 200 quid......fucking junkies next door!!!!!!!

I think I went out with her, she was a right slapper......she used to tickle my prostate with a magic wand made from a Unicorn's horn, then suck me dry like a Dyson!!! It didn't end well though.....she left me for a Centaur (well, he was hung like a horse..I couldn't compete). Medication time!!!!!

Oooh, the oldies are the best!!

I've just finished playing Alien Vs Predator on the PS3.......God knows why!!!!

Spending Sunday mornings in bed doing nudie prod things under the quilt with my lovely lady.............then having a relaxing pint or nine in the afternoon...ooh grand!!

This looks like a fuckin' belter of a game, I'm havin' a copy when I finish work tomorrow playing it all weekend then will be foning in sick on Monday and playing it till my eyes bleed and my brain turns to jelly.................

The best ad on tv is for Sainsburys when Jamie Oliver sets himself on fire in the middle of cooking up a free meal for the tenants of a housing estate and they all stamp on him to put the fire out inadvertantly killing the little mockney git...........ahhhh, we can all dream.

A fuckin' great movie starring my all time favourite large, angry, black man...... in a kilt!!

They look well streamlined compared with the old design, I might give it a look. I missed the Weeping Angels episodes as the David tennant story they appeared in was one of the best Dr Who stories I've ever seen (then again it was one of the only Tennant era stories I watched, I prefer the older shows from the 70's and 80's and Christopher Eccleston's Dr). Were the new Angel episodes any good?

There's nothing wrong with Diana Vickers....that a loaded 12 bore shotgun couldn't sort out!! Kill her twice????? It would just take one barrel...she'd be all over the wall !!!!!!

I'd happily help out ,can I be the baddie, they get all the best line haha.

No, no white van involved......come to think of it, they annoy the shit out of me too!!!!

Was this ''No Retreat No Surrender 2'' ? I remember that a fighter goes to China or somewhere like that and teams up with an out of shape, cigar chomping mercenary who lived in a caravan to save some ex flame of the hero's. Can't remember if the merc guy's black though.

Yea they will, they cleaned all the blood off my backseat AND helped me get rid of the hammer ..no questions asked. Good guys.

Mathers Hilton-Haywood - If you vote for me I'll continue to drink the finest wines known to man, pretend poor people don't exist, pay for sleazy unprotected sex with various underage animals, blame everything on those 'foriegn chappies', live alone in a 26 bedroomed house the taxpayer pays for and generally do fuckall for an obscene amount of money. ''A SENSIBLE CANDIDATE FOR A SENSIBLE BRITAIN''

I do enjoy a ''quick one off the wrist'' infront of the telly, the managers and staff in Currys and Comet aren't so pleased though.......

I've got a van load of pet hates but if I post any on here, I could be in alot of trouble!!! (and once I start a rant I'll go on for about 4 days!!!) So I won't!!

The cock slide is hilarious, I'd love to get one and put it in the garden just to see the reactions of people on the buses going past.