Soda Jerk

Lisa The Iconoclast is the best of the lot. I like the majority of those episodes, but it's still despite Lisa. Most probably because I peg Yeardley Smith as the worst voice actor on the show. Everything is delivered the same, in that nasal voice. They paint her as the liberal voice of reason, but she often ends up being a whiny poseur who sometimes sells herself out. I don't know if that's intentional.

Are they good because of her, or despite her? I struggle to think of one where she is the lead that is a great episode, apart from the one above.

My issue with 'newer' Simpsons is the amount of guest voices they cram in to an episode which kind of forces it to be based around that person(s). The better and more watchable episodes in Season 20-somethings are the ones where they stick to the basics. They still tell good stories and jokes when they're not trying to shoehorn guests in. There are a lot of good episodes that they don't really get credit for, because of the widespread opinion that Post-S8 is terrible, but the ratio of bad to good episodes in S20 onwards is in favour of bad, and that ratio gets larger with each passing season. They still put in some pretty cringey jokes too though. Like when they just decided the Rich Texan was going to be obsessive compulsive. What's that about? Awful joke that they keep bringing back. That's just one I can think of off the top of my head. There are others. And Lisa. Lisa episodes are always terrible, apart from the Jedidiah Springfield/Hans Spungfeld episode, though she's not the reason that episode is good, but she manages to be bearable. She seems to have become the main character in S20 onwards. When they make Lisa sing, with that voice, it has to get switched off.

Just saw Marvel are releasing a bunch of Omnibus' this year. The Captain America omnibus is 1300+ pages. How do you even pick that up and read it? The Thor one is going to be over £100. Try and open that up to see a double page spread, and the thing will just explode.

I never really did individual issues, but they're definitely more practical than trades. Double page spreads don't work in thicker trades (and that's probably when they split and break, trying to open it right out to see the whole spread). Individual issues look and feel better, but they're not great value for money, and I have nowhere to really store comics. My trades/graphic novels already takes up a ridiculous amount of space. I should probably downsize. I just read the first couple of issues of the new Cage on MU. I read it is drawn by the same guys who did Dexters Lab, and you can definitely tell. Fun as fuck. I keep meaning to give the She Hulk stuff a go. Mainly because I love how butthurt it is making all the white boys on the internet who think its a disgrace and is ruining their childhood, or some self entitled bullshit. Seems worth it just for that.

I ditched Marvel Unlimited for a while as I just didn't have the time. I've gone back and totally hooked again. 70's Luke Cage - Hero for Hire is a right laugh. Silly insults and over-egged dialogue to make sure you know the characters are black. Marvel seems to make an assumption that black people do not speak very well. Might be a tad racist. But then it's all okay, because Luke Cage says something like "quit yo' jive, pork belly" and facepunches a bad guy over the horizon. I'm still on the side of Data > Possessions. I got Punisher MAX for my birthday, about a third of the way in, the pages split from the glue on the spine and it fell apart. Not the first Marvel trade to do that to me either. Marvel trades are made like crap, and Waterstones agree. I was in there on Saturday looking at what other MAX stuff they had (cos it's not on MU). They said they're not stocking up on as much Marvel because so much of it gets returned. Their Marvel section was bare, which happens in no comic section ever.

The only Burger joint I'm interested in is Three Brothers in Bristol. Its a little pricey, but it's badass, and the place is on a MFing BOAT on the canal. They have the best selection of beers and ciders. A couple of years ago, we arrived late in to Bristol after delayed flights and trains. The place was supposed to close at half 10. We arrived at 10 and they said no problem. They were letting people in for food until near midnight. Food stopped at 12 but folk could come in for beers after that. Then we sat out on the deck of the boat and drank all of the cider until 2am, whilst watching the mad thunder that delayed our flight. They close when the party is over. 3 Bros aside, I'd rather make my own burgers, or go elsewhere. Most burger joints are weird and try too hard to deliver a gimmick nobody wants, and the burgers are often bang average at best. If you're ever in Bristol, go to 3 Brothers. And invite me.

That's gone full circle as well. Stripped back fast food-like burgers at boutique prices are totally IN. Like Five Guys, where you're looking at about £17 for a burger, fries and drink, served to you in a paper bag by someone who screams your order number at you. They don't even portion the fries up in anything. They just pour them into the bag on top of the burger. The bag becomes the plate. A plate that the food exploded on. There's a new one around here called Smash Burger, which is the same sort of deal, and the same sort of prices. As opposed to the restaurant burgers, stacked far too big to eat so you have to dismantle it, served to you on a slab of wood or the end of a shovel, with a rum and coke in an old bean can, and a handful of fries in what looks like a little frying basket. That's so 2015. Taking your OH and a hypothetical couple of kids to Five Guys would probably set you back near £80 for a burger some spotty teen probably spat on, and then kicked at you in a bag. Gourmet Hot Dogs will be next. They're already creeping in around here a little bit.

Don't forget Vape shops. Down here in Englandshire, the Cash4Gold shop in my little village was changed in to a Vape shop a few weeks ago. It's a pretty big store, totally empty, apart from the cashier right at the back, with a shelf of vapes behind him. I expect it to go full circle, and it will become an American candy shop in the next 12 months. RIP town centres.

Oh, and Vision too. I'm not fully up to date with all the Iron Man/Cap Yank/Avengers movies. Is Vision is any others? He is stone cold bad ass. I would watch a film with Vision as the lead. With more Paul Rudd.

He was too timid and weird. I like him in the comics when he's a total wanker, like a Deadpool-lite. They made him too nice. Fuck nice Spider-Man. Needs more bell-end Spider-Man. And more Paul Rudd.

Captain America: Civil War I gave it a go, as I've read the Civil War comic run and it's very good. Turns out, very little of this film is based on that. Regardless, it's as-you'd-expect comic book silliness, with outrageous CGI action shots that you can tell cost billions of $$$. Goodies vs Baddies, though the Baddies are actually Goodies, except for that one Baddie. He's an actual Baddie. They need to stop putting Spider-Man on the big screen until they can get the character right. He is always done terribly. Thankfully, there's not much of him. Needs more Paul Rudd. Not just this film. Everything. Everything needs more Paul Rudd. 5 out of 10. It's about an hour too long.

That did sound a bit anti-Liverpool, unintentionally. I just want Wenger to stay forever, so they can continue being a pretty good but largely unthreatening side. I think the cup final will be the end of him, regardless of the result, in an LvG sort of way. Top 4 could have probably saved him for one more year. Arsenal will struggle next year if they treat the Europa League the way United have, and the way Liverpool did the year before. It's such an unnecessarily bloated competition. Too many teams, too many rounds. Spurs did the right thing of not giving a stuff about it, and focusing on comfortably finishing 2nd. United should have done the same. Top 4 was doable, as City, Liverpool, Arsenal and United seems to be locked in a battle to see who could not finish in the top 4. The amount of points dropped in the last 10 games or so was just silly. Anyway. Juve to win big ears. Do it for Gigi.

Looks like Arsenal do still have a chance to nick top 4 on Sunday. I don't think they will, but I really want them to. Hopefully Boro, who have absolutely nothing to play for and most of them will probably have an eye on leaving now they're going down, can nick a draw at Anfield, and Arsenal can do Everton, who also have nothing to play for. Sheffield Wednesday are cursed to never return to the Premier League. Two botched playoffs in a row. An own goal equaliser and losing on penalties is a cruel way to go.

Sunderland under Moyes is a guaranteed 3 points in a home game for just about everyone in the league. Little bit of a shame they're going down. But also not a shame at all, after the years or circling the drain and having a narrow escape from the drop. Their Premier League existence in the last few years has been a bit pointless. No more Lee Cattermole and his shirt tucked in to his hiked up shorts. And no more David Moyes. Hopefully. The guy is a parody. He's managed two clubs since his spectacular failure at United, and he still has the occasional whinge about "not getting the time" and how "even Fergie would have struggled". He'll get less of a platform for that in the Championship. Good.

They didn't shut them out. Shit team.

They look all but set to totally shut out this Monaco side over two legs, which is impressive, as they score goals for fun. Higuain has really added an efficiency to their attack. He is so clinical. He has a record of being a big game bottler though. He has the opportunity to put that to bed if he scores in the final. Pjanic is so good. Dybala is so good also. Great team.

Save up for a year and then do it.

Wrong again. Awful game though. Arsenal were a little bit less terrible than United, but both sides were pretty terrible. Both sides didn't look bothered if they lost the game. Mourinho definitely wasn't bothered at the end. Wayne Rooney shouldn't be a footballer anymore.

I think the mentality of the players trickles down from the top. If there's no pressure to be ruthless, then where are the players going to get that sort of determination from, if the manager and one of the owners isn't that bothered if they win trophies or not? Wenger doesn't have the fire he used to, and he hasn't adapted like Fergie did. Fergie lost that fire, but he could still motivate, and he went out a winner. Wenger has meandered for nearly 15 years. Like Fergie, he's become unsackable, and he'll decide when it's over. If he loves the club as he says he does, he needs to go this season. They are capable, but they still need some serious investment, which Wenger is always reluctant to do. They could really do away with nearly all of the squad except Koscielny, Monreal and Sanchez. They are the only indispensable ones IMO. Every one else is very much replaceable.

You severely overestimated David Moyes. I also argued against your prediction: "Can't see Arsenal bombing to 7th. Arsenal are incredibly good at one thing - finishing in the top 4. When was the last time they didn't? They're also pretty good at climbing out of their Champions League group, even when they look doomed. I can't see this being the season they don't get into the Champions League. They'll wobble, lose a few games they shouldn't and look a bit hopeless sometimes, but they won't finish outside the top 4." They're still in it, but I don't see them getting close to it it. They are looking the most hopeless they've looked in many years. They've got some very good players, but they just look so soft. If you're an Arsenal fan, how do you find it within yourself to get behind Ozil every week? He's the biggest big game bottler at any of the top 6 clubs. Mopes around, looking like he'd rather be doing anything than playing football. He is the Anti Sanchez, who is reportedly wanting out, but he still gives everything when he's out there. I don't even think they'll beat United at home tomorrow, and United will be fielding a weakened side. Maybe. Mourinho said they will, but that might mean that he doesn't, because he loves fucking over Wenger. Come to think of it, I can't see Mourinho sticking that. He's unbeaten against Wenger in competitive games (Wenger's only beaten him in the Community Shield). I don't think he will want to lose that title.

Make-up in the 1930s looks like the stuff of nightmares. "Yes, just place your head inside the cage of nails"

MINT. The Napoleon Dynamite lyrics needed more Rex Kwon Do, however.