SteveCrisis

From Facet Squared by Fugazi - 'Irony's the refuge of the educated' and 'Cool's eternal but it's a;ways dated' And from The Sopranos 'We got an old proverb too: You fuck up once you lose two teeth!"

Aaaah! Shrunken and Mummified Bitch! From the Been Caught Buttering album - quality Pungent Stench material. That brings me back to being in Cerement. Jeff, Ewen, Mark and I covered 'Shrunken'. *In Death Metal gruff voice* Oi! Oi! Oi!

Re: *ahem*... Woops! My bad.

For those of you who don't have kids or are far too young to remember the splendid children's TV programme "Rainbow", this may be a little lost on you...... but it must have been a great episode to watch! Almost too ridiculous to believe... These are taken from original Rainbow scripts and there's no way these could have been done by Accident. Innuendo all the way. The sketch opens with Zippy peeling a banana..... Zippy: " One skin, two skin, three skin, four " George: " Zippy, where is Bungle?" Zippy: " I think Geoffrey is trying to get him up" We see a view of the door and hear Bungle moaning from behind it.) Bungle: " Geoffrey, I can't get it in" Geoffrey: "You managed it last night" Bungle: "I know, lets try it round the Otherway. Ooooooh, I've got it in" Bungle and Geoffrey enter the studio with Bungle carrying a hammer and peg kit Bungle: " Would you stick this on the shelf, George" George: " I can't reach, you'll have to stick it up yourself,Bungle." Geoffrey (to camera) " Hello everyone, today we are talking about playing" Bungle: " Playing with each other, Geoffrey?" Geoffrey:" Yes Bungle, do you have a special friend that you like to play with?" George:" Yesterday we played with each other's balls. Are we going to play with our friend's balls today?" Bungle: " Yes, and we can play with our twangers as well." Geoffrey (to camera) "Have you seen Bungles twanger?" Zippy: "Oh I have, I showed him how to pluck with it." Bungle: " It's my plucking instrument." (Geoffrey asks the audience if they can pluck like Bungle) Zippy:" I can, I'm the best plucker here." George; "And I'm good at banging. My peg's hard isn't it Zippy? Zippy: "Well of course it is, Your peg wouldn't go in if it was soft." Geoffrey;" Let's get back to Bungle's twanger." Bungle (excited) "Oooooh Geoffrey, we could all play with our twangers couldn't we? Let's play the plucking song. Rod and Freddy can get their instruments out and Jane has got two lovely Maracas." (Singers Rod, Freddy and Jane enter.) Freddy:" We could hear you all banging away" Rod: "Banging can be fun." Jane:"Ooooh yes, and I was banging away all last night with Rod and Freddy." Freddy (looking sad) "Yes, but it broke my plucking instrument." Rod (to Jane) "Do you want to blow on my pipe while I'm twanging away?" Jane: " Oh no, I was banging away with Freddy last night. But would you like to play with my maracas? Zippy; " No, let's just pluck away with our twangers." George:" Yes, it doesn't matter what size our twanger is." Zippy;" I've got a big red one." George: " I've only got a tiny twanger. But it works well and I like to play with it." Geoffrey (to viewers) " Well, have you got your twangers out? And remember, you can bang your balls at the same time. If you haven't got any, ask a friend if you can play with his. Now,let's all play the plucking song." Everyone in studio: " Pluck, pluck, pluck along, we're going to pluck all day."

That was the very one, Phil!

That was a quality gig at The Pelican. One of the best ever held there. The Young Gods a few months laterat the same venue were enjoyable too. But nothing will come close to Helmet at the Barras in '97.

Aye, but according to Calum (SoundIan's bitch) Phil Hartnoll is contractually obligated to perform at least half-doz Orbital tracks in his set. And according to Kenny Mutch it was immense and he did!

Fugazi Aereogramme Helmet The Smiths Radiohead

May 17th added to my diary and calendar. If it is the missing lnk between Your Arsenal and Vauxhall And I then YEE-FUCKING-HA! Wonder if there'll be anything tongue-in-cheekin the track listing like National Front Disco?

Anyone Can Play Guitar would get my nod.

A Fuck-Off Gig by Fuck-Off Machete That was a qquality gig last night. My ears are still buzzing. Stuart Maxwell played some really good tunes (thanks Stu for leting me do my vinyl). Turning 13 played another quality set and despite it being FOM's first gig, well I was impressed. Just wish I had the spends to buy their CD last night Over all, fucking great.

Bugger!

If I take in some vinyl, would you let me DJ for a bit? :O *Trying to blag my way in for nothing because I'm skint* :O

Jesus! In 1992 I palyed my first ever death metal gig there for the Telethon Charity Event. 2nd gig? The East Neuk - NICE!

Mine's a pint, Del. Drummonds back of 6?

Rdaiohead's Hail To The Thief and The Revolution Smile's Above The Noise

The 3am Eternal perfromance with ENT has to be the best Brits moment ever! How my ears bled when ENT played The Metro that same year. Justified and Ancient was a superb track - still have the 12inch remix kicking about the flat. Ross, I noticed on your Carter & The USM thread that Sheriff Fatman wasn't included in The Best Of track listing. Wasn't that a b-side anyway?

Not this puppy. I saw them support Helmet and Korn at the Barrowlands early 1997 and they were shit. The only redeeming thing about LB at the time was DJ Lethal who got the drinks in for me and my mates prior to their set.

The Cavern has or had a whole heap of their stuff in and at fairly reasonable prices too. They are something else.

The Craft Bespoke Tailor on Bridge Street is very reasonably priced for made-to-measure suits. Phillip King too. I might be wrong but don't Slater's do bespoke work as well?

Will see you there, Jeff. Like your sig by the way. "As Anthony said to Cleopatra as he opened a case of ale, 'Some girls are bigger than others...'

It amounts to the same thing. I thought it a quality gag.

Wasn't it Castro's that burned down? I remember reading the fire-marshall's report. Foul play and arson had been dismissed. Someone had simply left a fag burning.

I'd be willing to provide a Yorkshire accent. My Geordie's pretty good too. If need be I can do a passable NY/NJ accent. Only if it's called for you fucking culo schifuses!

Shure SM 58s get my vote. Although I did once possess a very stylish, highly receptive Beyer Dynamic mic (model no. evades me unfortunately) that cost around 120 quid at the time (1992).