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The organising and the playing of Football


Soda Jerk

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See, my role in football is very clear. I'm a dead ball specialist. Want a corner pinged in straight onto an attacker's head? I'm your man. Want a free kick curled expertly into the top corner? Call on me. Want someone who can run, pass, tackle and shoot? Call on someone else. My usual tactic when I receive the ball in open play is to panic and lump it forward and hope it stays on the pitch.

If this was American Football I'd be on the Special Team. Sit on the bench for most of the game until a touchdown is scored, run on the field to take the field goal and then take my place back on the bench.

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Not too keen on the surface at goals. I don't know what they put under it when they relaid it, but every time I've been on it since I've gone away with back pain. It's harder than a hard thing.

Bit disappointed with some of the challenges tonight, Big Dave won't be invited back as he was too meaty for the pace of our games. I hate people who don't get that it's not about trying hard and "outmuscling" everyone.

He wasn't the only offender though...

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I enjoyed the kick about though I'm in fucking proper pain now. Note to self: Warm up, or you'll pull something. And secondly, if you get a groin strain in the first fucking minute of the game, don't keep playing for another hour thinking you can "run it off". You can't. I had to sit with ice on my nutsack for an hour when I got home.

Aye that boy in the Chelsea shirt was a bit naughty like. Clattered me a good 'un right near the end. It's not like I was even a threat, hobbling up and down the same 10 yards of grass.

Much preferred playing at Goals than Seaton Park. Indoor football is more suited to duffers like me, less pitch to cover!

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