paranoid Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 I hope lots of food carts/vendors are completely destroyed. It's also ample opportunity for cameos. I'd call for Jack Black to be credited as Angry Hot Dog Vendor1, just on the outskirts of China Town. As the chase descends into Little Italy, a suited mobster is just about to step off the curb as Cannon speeds past. The mobster utters a Yankee accented clich.Clumsy mobster1: "Aww nuts. I spilled my hawt cawfee"Clumsy mobster2: "Whatsamadderwidyou?"Diversity.Stepping on toes much?o_OWe need a writers strike methinks... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 Accents aren't patented. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3CR816 Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 Accents aren't patented.That Mafia get 2 points from every dubious 'mobster accent' on film. They made $7000 per episode of The Sopranos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphas Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 Gold toothed thug from earlier (Igor) enters the toilet to find Kalashnikov slumped against the wall, groaning with the toilet brush sticking out his face. QUOTE]Good idea, keep Kalashnikov alive and he can return for a final battle scene wearing an eye patch.Next scene:Cannon returns home. Bursts through the door with his gun out but the coast is clear. He walks into the next room and to his horror sees his dog lying dead with a broken neck.Cannon - TRIGGER!!! (Highly self-indulgent, yet relevant)He finds a note next to the dog:Next time you try to stop a kidnapping at a military parade, you're going to wish you hadn't - The KatCannon - Motherfucker!He picks up his phone and calls Chief GloverCannon - Chief, it's Cannon.Glover - Cannon! What the fuck is going on?!Cannon - Was meaning to ask you the same thing? I get suspended, attacked in a toilet and then I get home and find Trigger is dead.Glover - Trigger is...Cannon - Yeah man, dead. It was The Kat.Glover - The Kat?! I thought we killed him? We organised a hit in Tijuana using midgets armed with exploding dildos!?Cannon - I guess he got away.Glover - Listen man, we got our people looking for you. Some incident with a Russian and a toilet brush. I can only hold them off for so long...what you going to do?Cannon - (Loading a clip into his gun) I'm going after The Kat and when I find him, I'm going to fuck the pussy!Set up nicely for a car chase I'd say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted December 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 I hope lots of food carts/vendors are completely destroyed. It's also ample opportunity for cameos. I'd call for Jack Black to be credited as Angry Hot Dog Vendor1, just on the outskirts of China Town. As the chase descends into Little Italy, a suited mobster is just about to step off the curb as Cannon speeds past. The mobster utters a Yankee accented clich.Clumsy mobster1: "Aww nuts. I spilled my hawt cawfee"Clumsy mobster2: "Whatsamadderwidyou?"Diversity.Yes, diversity is good. Without wanting to step on Paranoid's toes, perhaps we could incorporate every stereotype we can think of within the car chase scenes: Car ploughs through Gay Pride parade - Gay man 1: aaaaah, watch out for my poodle! Gay man 2: oh my God, did you see the driver?! He was a dreamboat! Car ploughs through a group of Indian men playing Kabbadi - Indian Man 1: (muttering whilst holding breath as the rules of Kabbadi dictate) kabbadi, kabbadi, kabbadi.....what on earth!? You made me breathe out!!! Psycho! (I just realised you can't write in an Indian accent)Car ploughs through basketball court where all players are in wheelchairs - they all do mad wheelchair tricks to get out of the way, perhaps one wheelchair gets caught in the grill and is pushed along by the car for a while.....Car ploughs through a hotel function room where a Bar Mitzvah is taking place etc. etc. etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted December 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 Glover - The Kat?! I thought we killed him? We organised a hit in Tijuana using midgets armed with exploding dildos!?.Hopefully Glover will struggle to keep a straight face whilst delivering this line and we can use it for the outtakes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoonie Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 This shit is dy-no-mite! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berti Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 after finishing the conversation with the chief, Cannon picks up a glass and his bottle of whiskey, then, in a potent statement, hurls the glass across the room and takes a man sized gulp of the sauce.....he will then storm out of the apartment after thrusting his pistol into his back pocket.outside he stops dead as he looks down the street....the gold toothed dog assassin is about 50feet down with sunglasses on and just lighting a cigarette as he looks straight at Cannon.He will then do a slow motion sunglasses removal and smile smugly at Cannon before getting in the car and driving off......Cannon then screams something gloriously cliched, im thinking 'oh heeelllll no'before jumping in his car and taking off in pursuit towards chinatown perhaps...As cannon pulls away, his tail from earlier turns the corner with two of the offices from his own department. They will undoubtably be discussing one of their problems with their 'old lady' with mundane chat before one of them spots Cannon leaping into his car and speeding off, cue a unison chorus of 'MOTHERFUCKER!"They then set off to chase Cannon and herein begins the greatest cliche ridden car chase of all time......incidentally, i think the tail should lose chase about half way through the total chase, possibly while igor and Cannon manage to squeeze around a reversing garbage truck before it just closes the gap too much for the cop car to get through, cue slamming of palms on steering wheel and 'Goddamit!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 Man, this dialogue is getting complex. I thought this was going to be 90 minutes of cliches and explosions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfer_Rosa Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 Is there a scene with Cannon performing DIY on his own injury (popping a dislocated joint back in/sewing up gaping wound etc) yet? There needs to be one of those. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted December 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 Is there a scene with Cannon performing DIY on his own injury (popping a dislocated joint back in/sewing up gaping wound etc) yet? There needs to be one of those.Not yet, but the franchise is young. We could also have the sexy minx performing some amateur bullet removal on him whilst marvelling at the contours of his muscular physique and then riding him, despite the fact she's recently lost someone close to her. The bullet must be placed in a metal dish which goes "ping". Whisky will be used as an anaesthetic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FatHand Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I can get out of work early today but I've been glued to the screen reading this.Cannon should pick up a partner at some point through the movie, despite his mantra "I work better alone" ... not necessarily another cop but someone he picks up along the way and teaches him the value of team work. I think Lee Evans, with a slight comic edge, could be good for this role.Someone should be moments away from retirement too, possibly a poignant death to set up some retaliation (ideal sequel perhaps). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphas Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 Wasn't Snakes on a Plane written on an Internet forum? That was a box office smash and officially the best film never to win an Oscar so we're going to be quids in at this rate.Other scenes need to feature a slow motion shot of Cannon with a helicopter going overhead and one where he fires a whole clip of bullets into the air in sheer rage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted December 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I can get out of work early today but I've been glued to the screen reading this.Cannon should pick up a partner at some point through the movie, despite his mantra "I work better alone" ... not necessarily another cop but someone he picks up along the way and teaches him the value of team work. I think Lee Evans, with a slight comic edge, could be good for this role.Yes! Someone else who has been wronged by the Kat and his ruffians. He'll try to shake him off and succeed on a couple of occasions until his unwanted partner (hapless yet well meaning and hellbent on revenge, potentially called Chuck) saves his life therefore earning his trust and respect. There will be a scene before this where Cannon tries to explain to Chuck (he's almost definitely called Chuck now) that he works alone, drawing comparisons between himself and an inspirational picture of a lone wolf that he has on the wall of his appartment. Chuck will have superior knowledge of wolves and explain that it is more common that they hunt in packs. Cannon won't like being outsmarted and will threaten Chuck with a gun to his head before throwing him out the front door. Now, where's Paranoid with that car chase? Still on strike? Loose Cannon doesn't stop for Christmas mo'fo. Ideally want to start shooting in March. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berti Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 i know, i purposely stopped at that point on my earlier post due to his request for artistic breathing space, i merely offered a couple of ideas.personally i think there should be some high speed reversing up a narrow alley, with trashcans being tossed around like ragdolls in the process Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I'm off the writers strike now.I'm at work, but I'm finished at lunchtime. Car chase like a mo'fo this afternoon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FatHand Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I'm off the writers strike now.I'm at work, but I'm finished at lunchtime. Car chase like a mo'fo this afternoon.Can I request a two wheel stunt from a Truck that's gotten in the way... a sigh of relief from the driver only to have some sort of crash anyway, preferably into one of those water canister things people crash into on highways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 Can I request a two wheel stunt from a Truck that's gotten in the way... a sigh of relief from the driver only to have some sort of crash anyway, preferably into one of those water canister things people crash into on highways.I like it!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphas Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I'm off the writers strike now.I'm at work, but I'm finished at lunchtime. Car chase like a mo'fo this afternoon.I think there should be a bit where Cannon is on a motorbike and tips it over to slide on the ground whilst shooting his gun.This could be the best car chase ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I think there should be a bit where Cannon is on a motorbike and tips it over to slide on the ground whilst shooting his gun.This could be the best car chase ever.Nah, it needs to "out wank" MI2 in the motorbike wankery department.He needs to bunny-hop the motherfucker! Whilst shooting. And on fire. At night.Best.Car.Chase.EVAR!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I go away for 2 days and come back to this.I can't believe how fucking incredible this is. It's incredible. Best part had to be the bank account full of justice though. Holy titty fucking christ I laughed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphas Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 Nah, it needs to "out wank" MI2 in the motorbike wankery department.He needs to bunny-hop the motherfucker! Whilst shooting. And on fire. At night.Best.Car.Chase.EVAR!!I would consider it better than Christmas if he was shooting two guns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berti Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I'm off the writers strike now.I'm at work, but I'm finished at lunchtime. Car chase like a mo'fo this afternoon.can i possibly suggest hitting a pensioner on the way home so that you start a car chase of your very own? it might provide some inspiration. yes you might end up getting a little tsk tsk from the fuzz but i think in the long run its a sacrifice worth making for the movie and the car chase would benefit. It will definately 'out-epic' its already substantial epic level..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted December 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 can i possibly suggest hitting a pensioner on the way home so that you start a car chase of your very own? it might provide some inspiration. yes you might end up getting a little tsk tsk from the fuzz but i think in the long run its a sacrifice worth making for the movie and the car chase would benefit. It will definately 'out-epic' its already substantial epic level.....Loose Cannon. Based on a true story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 can i possibly suggest hitting a pensioner on the way home so that you start a car chase of your very own? it might provide some inspiration. yes you might end up getting a little tsk tsk from the fuzz but i think in the long run its a sacrifice worth making for the movie and the car chase would benefit. It will definately 'out-epic' its already substantial epic level.....Sadly my girlfriend has the car to her work, and there isn't a hope in hell I'd hit a pensioner with my car anyway. I may burst onto North Anderson Drive and "commandeer" one, in a "this is official police business, bitch. Get outta the car" type idea. That would be ace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.