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Granite Hearts


Guest Bob
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Has anyone else noticed the ad for that dating site granitehearts.com?

I think I'll join. You never know when you might fancy a girl with a heart of intrusive, felsic, igneous rock.

A group of us has set up a bogus account on Plenty of fish, pretending to be Thomas lang, you wouldn't believe how easy it is to get naked pics of birds on that site! lol

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As easy as going on a porn site?

Haha, nicely done.

I just registered for this so I could have a snoop around and see if there was anyone I know (or knew from school etc.) on there. I can't seem to find a way to delete my account though. Fortunately I didn't put my full name but nevertheless it's still a site I 100% do not want to be a part of (even if some of the girls on it actually looked alright).

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Guest idol_wild
I signed up and snooped around to see if there was any girls I know. There weren't. So that was a waste of time.

Surely not. I mean, you still had a wank, right?

Wanking is never a waste of time.

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Guest idol_wild
Not even if you only having material of Davie Dodds mid 80's?

That's why you should store mental images of tidy birds in the wank bank. Just for backup.

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Guest idol_wild
Ah now thats a plan, never tried that. . . . . . . .nope tried, still just Davie Dodds there in the old memory bank. He looks pretty sweet in just brown Y-fronts though!

Get in the corner of the room and face the floor. :dunce:

And leave your japper alone.

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I bet they didn't tell you that when you applied for the job though, did they? Fucking bastards!

They certainly never! Mind you, my assistant is bloody hot, and that keeps my hands busy under the table, so no need for porn anyway at the moment, until she leaves that is

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did you shag her?

Could be one of three options why he got sacked here! 1) He raped her after hours, 2) He slipped it up her hoop without telling her, 3) He was so bad that she just couldn't look him in the face anymore! Or, could be a combination of more than one

Or more likely he just left, but my options are so much more entertaining

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Who's to say it was a woman?

Ok, is this better?

Could be one of three options why he/she got sacked here! 1) He/she raped him/her after hours, 2) He/she slipped it up his/her hoop without telling him/her, 3) He/she was so bad that he/she just couldn't look her/him in the face anymore! Or, could be a combination of more than one

Or more likely he/she just left, but my options are so much more entertaining

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