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Friday evening debauchery...?


Guest calumunderkills

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There's a lot of wanking going on in this thread.

Lyrics to Wanking Over A Pornographic Polaroid Of An Ex-Girlfriend Who Died :

KUNT:

When I was up the loft I came across a box

Which when I opened up stirred mixed emotions in my cock

It felt a little hard but it felt a little soft

The next thing that I know I'm feeling sexy up the loft

So I unzip my fly and pop out my Jap's eye

I have a little wank and I have a little cry

I'm wanking over a pornographic polaroid of an ex-girlfriend who died

LITTLE KUNT:

"Come on, Kunt, it'll be alright"

KUNT:

"But I really miss her, Little Kunt"

LITTLE KUNT:

"If you tell me a little bit more about that photo, it might help you get over her?"

KUNT:

"Alright then, Little Kunt, I'll give it a go"

KUNT:

The pic was very lewd, she's completely in the nude

She's pulling it apart and she's doing something rude

She's got a hairy crutch, I miss her very much

So I take out my chap and I have a little touch

I'm wanking over a pornographic polaroid of an ex-girlfriend who died

I'm feeling mixed emotions in my mind and in my knob

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I'm in Elgin picking up my newly serviced car. So have the option of going out for a few games of darts tonight, followed by checking out the new pub: 'Granary'??

I may yet stay in and watch the Bundesliga game, whilst finishing off these prelims which i've been working on all day. That would also benefit my 4 week detox from alcohol which i've imposed recently...

I'll drive back to Aberdeen tomorrow in time for the lunch time kick offs, then listen to the ICT v. Motherwell game, followed by a bit of Fifa Xbox Live, then watch the BBC ALBA full 90 min replay of the ICT game.

Sunday will be spent making sure i've sorted out everything for going back to school the next day and washing loads of shirts. A few games of Fifa again to break up the day.

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What is a candle party? Do you not know females!? Maybe it's a country bumpkin thing??

I'm assuming you've heard of Anne Summers' parties? Well a candle party is much the same thing except far less interesting... As far as I'm aware (I've never been cos they are for females...) someone has a catalogue of different fancy (expensive) candles, and a few actual candles to look at and stuff. They have a few drinks etc. and one thing leads to another................................

...and they put candles inside each others' vaginas? Is that what you mean?

Can anyone go to this party or is it invite only? 'Cause there certainly won't be any candles in vaginas at my ceilidh.

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My sister-in-law is hosting one of those stupid candle parties, but that's good news for me as all the women will be in a room looking at and smelling pretty candles...

I dunno man. Last candle party I went to was at the Foster family mansion, and it ended terribly.

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Guest calumunderkills
...and they put candles inside each others' vaginas? Is that what you mean?

Can anyone go to this party or is it invite only? 'Cause there certainly won't be any candles in vaginas at my ceilidh.

Like I say, I've never been to one. I'll see if my fiancee is walking funny at the end of the evening or not....

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Guest calumunderkills
I dunno man. Last candle party I went to was at the Foster family mansion, and it ended terribly.

I was away to ask what you were on about, then the penny dropped...:devil:

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What is a candle party? Do you not know females!? Maybe it's a country bumpkin thing??

I'm assuming you've heard of Anne Summers' parties? Well a candle party is much the same thing except far less interesting... As far as I'm aware (I've never been cos they are for females...) someone has a catalogue of different fancy (expensive) candles, and a few actual candles to look at and stuff. They have a few drinks etc. and one thing leads to another................................

and they all put their orders in for candles. If there is enough money made on the orders, the host gets to pick something free to a certain value.

It's all a bit of a scam really. What the fuck do you need a fancy candle for anyway? Pay 20 to set fire to it - stupid bints...

I've never heard of a candle party either. It doesn't sound like I'm missing out too much though. You must be from the strange end of New Deer... :up:

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Guest calumunderkills
I have family in New Deer and I know for a fact there isn't a normal end of New Deer.:up:

Nowt wrong with New Deer....

The candle party incidentally was in Maud :up:

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I humped a 40 yr old from New Deer after WIzard Festival - funnily enough after watching the Underkills - so they kinda did change my life, or at least made me never want to hump a bird 15 years my senior anymore....

Nice lassie though...oh the country quines....;)

That better not have been my mum. She likes to lie about her age...

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I drove through a couple of weeks ago just for a bit of nostalgia. Drove past my grandparents old house and a couple of other spots I haven't seen in years, but I didn't hang around. I didn't notice a kilt shop!

It's opposite the Mace/Spar/Keystore on the Main Street. Also worthy of a business mention is Food for Thought on the brae. A mighty fine delicatessen.

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Guest calumunderkills
I humped a 40 yr old from New Deer after WIzard Festival - funnily enough after watching the Underkills - so they kinda did change my life, or at least made me never want to hump a bird 15 years my senior anymore....

Nice lassie though...oh the country quines....;)

That better not have been my mum. She likes to lie about her age...

Funniest two posts I've read for a while - nearly laughed out loud...:up:

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It's opposite the Mace/Spar/Keystore on the Main Street. Also worthy of a business mention is Food for Thought on the brae. A mighty fine delicatessen.

My grandparents used to live in a house at the top of High Street. There was a big barn and some fields out the back and my grandad used to breed poodles in the barns.

That's not really relevant, I just thought I'd drop it in.

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My grandparents used to live in a house at the top of High Street. There was a big barn and some fields out the back and my grandad used to breed poodles in the barns.

That's not really relevant, I just thought I'd drop it in.

For some reason I found this hilarious.

Is that up where the new houses are these days?

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Guest calumunderkills
For some reason I found this hilarious.

Is that up where the new houses are these days?

Don't talk about the new houses - that's where all the candle parties are...

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