lollerskates Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 I hate it when people put "tb" or "text back" in a text message. In real life, you wouldn't go "Hello, how are you? Speak back".I hate it when I have to get out of bed.I hate it when I miss Neighbours.I hate it when I watch Neighbours in the afternoon, and hence have nothing decent to watch while eating tea.I hate it when people assume I can instantly fix their computer, regardless what is wrong with it, because I am doing Computing at uni.I hate it when I go the toilet, then don't have any more drinks, then need the toilet again soon after.I hate it when girls are all "Let's be friends", then go on about how much they like you. This means one of two things: a) I must be very ugly for them to not go out with me; 2) they go out with guys they dislike.I hate it when people don't do proper pushups, then are like all "I can do loads of pushups".I hate it when I lose my mouse onscreen, and you wave it around and you just can't see it.I hate it when people say they have no money, but they do, and have easy access to it.I hate it when people say "kewl".I hate it when people use their MSN display name as a countdown to something important, eg "4 DAYS 2 GO LOL!!!".I hate it when people who think the plural of "Lego" is "Legos", eg "I have more Legos than you".I hate it when people don't realise that "Forward this or your account will be deleted" style e-mails are ALWAYS fake.I hate it when I have a cut on my finger when I am eating crisps.I hate it when people cheat on their Advent Calendar.I hate it when people call their hamsters Hammy.I hate it when people use the word "blog". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Logan Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 You ever, sometime, right, you get on that toilet and when you shit, that water splash up on your ass? Don't that make you mad, right?You know what really make me mad? It's when shit come halfway out your ass, then go right back up in that motherfucker. Right? Why do shit be teasing your ass, right? Just get the fuck out, right?You know what really bother me is when you be straining for a long time, right? And one little pebble shit come out. Right? Be some shit this big, right? Push your head up your asshole, say: 'That's all the shit I'm gonna get, motherfucker?'You know what really make me mad, when your ass don't cooperate with you and clench up and break the shit in half. You be mad as a motherfucker too, because you know you got to wipe your ass for, like, five hours and shit, right? Use 12 rolls of toilet paper on that motherfucker.You know what really make me mad, though, is afterwards, right? You done all the shitting you gonna do for the whole day, right? You finish shitting and you flush the toilet and wait a second and one chunk come back. What does that chunk want? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodast Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 I hate it when people hint at something thats happened to them so you ask them about itThat's a good one, and happens far too often. But it's also easy to get some inward amusement from it by not asking, and watching them leave it for a bit and then hint again. And then again. And then just tell you anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollerskates Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 You ever' date=' sometime, right, you get on that toilet and when you shit, that water splash up on your ass? Don't that make you mad, right?[/quote']Yes, splashback is possibly the worst thing in the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue Denim.. Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 You know what really make me mad' date=' when your ass don't cooperate with you and clench up and break the shit in half. You be mad as a motherfucker too, because you know you got to wipe your ass for, like, five hours and shit, right? Use 12 rolls of toilet paper on that motherfucker.[/quote']I just hate it when you have one shite and spend the next hour wiping because it was so slimy. (Kinda like wiping the top of a marmite pot.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollerskates Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 wordsCommiserations on your disgusting ass problems.I just hate it when you have one shite and spend the next hour wiping because it was so slimy.You mean, like, cleaning peanut butter out of shag carpeting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NARC Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 I hate it when people slag off minidisc. There is nothing wrong with the format.I hate it when words have "ae" in them.The former I am in wholehearted agreement with. Minidisc is sustaining me in a foreign country. There is no higher praiseAs for the latter, there is a certain foreign girl on this forum who should read and learn. Trying to act Doric when you are NOT Doric, is not big and it's not cleverI also hate it when our friends become successful Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Keira Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 It is a rare occurance these days.At least I don't pretend to be cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NARC Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 It is a rare occurance these days.At least I don't pretend to be cool.'Tis true. No point in you pretending when you clearly aren't Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Keira Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 Finally seen sense have you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NARC Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 I haven't, no. I always wanted to meet that bastard, though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkHorse Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 I hate it when girls are all "Let's be friends" then go on about how much they like you. This means one of two things: a) I must be very ugly for them to not go out with me; 2) they go out with guys they dislike.?( It's like getting a job interview and the employer tells you that you are great for the role but they are going to employ someone else. The employer than contacts you to complain about how crap the new employee is. Then when they fire the person they gave the job to instead of you they contact you to let you know how bad an employee they were. Whenever they take on a subsequent person for the role they let you know it and give a running commentary on the employee's performance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollerskates Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 The original, and best:A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollerskates Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 I haven't' date=' no. I always wanted to meet that bastard, though...[/quote']hurrrrrr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkHorse Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 nice bash quotagethough inaccurate.'What? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue Denim.. Posted January 22, 2006 Report Share Posted January 22, 2006 Oh a sarcasm detector' date=' that's a real useful invention.[/quote']Funniest line ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Temple Posted January 22, 2006 Report Share Posted January 22, 2006 Keira and Malc, I'm VERY disappointed with you both.The standard of that insult-rally was sub-playground, at best. See me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollerskates Posted January 22, 2006 Report Share Posted January 22, 2006 ahahahahahhaahahahahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NARC Posted January 23, 2006 Report Share Posted January 23, 2006 Keira and Malc' date=' I'm VERY disappointed with you both.The standard of that insult-rally was sub-playground, at best. See me.[/quote']HahahahahaReminds me of the days of Mr.Walker's office - an authentic Headmaster Ritual.Not that I'm saying that he thwacked me on the knees or anything, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NARC Posted January 23, 2006 Report Share Posted January 23, 2006 I hate it when girls are all "Let's be friends"' date=' then go on about how much they like you. This means one of two things: a) I must be very ugly for them to not go out with me; 2) they go out with guys they dislike[/b'].Too true. Guys and gals can't be just "friends". It's written in the book of homo-sapiens, that if you "like" a girl, you also desire her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaseyBoi Posted January 23, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2006 i hate it when You run to the shite'r in work lock the cubicle ripp doon the travies and start yer dumpage only to discover the bog roll is in the other cubicle which someone is using.... Now do you A) bide yer time thon farty arsed cunt in next cubicle cant stay in there all day B) waddle into next cubicle with travies and skants at yer ankles all the while hoping the boss doesnt pop in for a whazz C) ach its your pants your shite your skiddies........aint fook all wrong with that B) Burn a wiggazigg ahhhhhhhhhhhh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollerskates Posted January 23, 2006 Report Share Posted January 23, 2006 First choice would be to not shit at work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benji Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 The McDonalds one had me in knots...I went to Garthdee asda/Mcdonass the other day and accidently asked for a whopper meal instead of the equivalent Big Mac meal.. the guy just looked at me as if I spat on his face.But no, no, I still had to say Big Mac meal, rather than the guy seeing the situation for what it was and getting me the Meal... These fucking dilluted yanks deserve the life they have. fuckers.My Pet Hate: At work we make tea/coffee etc in turns, I go along ask them if they would like a tea or coffee....Reply - Yes!..What? You want a tea, or coffee? Or will I mix it up and dribble a notch of urine in there as well for making me use my voicebox more than required? Simplicity fucked up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollerskates Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 Burn a wiggazigg ahhhhhhhhhhhh is the funniest thing I have ever read ahahahahahahahaaaaaaand yes, what the hell are you talking about? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2 minutes of hate Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 I hate walking down the street not knowing what im suppose to be doing and being too stubborn to just stop and have a think.I hate it when people are smarter than me and remind me of it on the sly.I hate crowded placesI hate people that repeat the same fact to you every fucking day of the week.I hate when i lose to a "from downtown" shot in the last second of NBA jam:swearing: I hate Puff DaddyI hate LondonI hate it when i cut my nails and cut my fingerI hate mobile phones Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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