Jaaakkkeee

Scrambled eggs with salt and pepper are pretty good. Throw them on some buttery toast and it's perfect for a easy breakfast that isn't simply toast or cereal.

Sacred Cow Still laughing thinking about last night's one. Especially the proposed soundtrack for the movie...

Must spread. Cool1. At least then if you're gonna take this piss it can be out of him.

Nahh. Live with parents and my dad takes over the kitchen from when he gets home to about half 7 (that's when he's finished making supper). So it'd be a case of washing all the pots 'n' pans that I didn't use, making something else. Finally sitting down to eat at about 8 or even later depending on what time my dad's finished cooking. I'd rather just complain about it. I mean, I can, I pay board. I'd happily pay less, buy my own food and cook it myself if I wasn't going to be eating at 8 o'clock.

I do but it just never seems to do the job. It's not stodgy enough I think. If I put maybe some extra bread and a shit load more butter it might work. But stuff like pasta and thick soups always seem to just hit the spot perfect. Plus, I'd be spending a fortune on sandwich supplies. And why waste money when I can just make do and complain online? And why waste money when I can just make poo and complain online?

Nahh the guy was being a dick and stupidly I started being a dick back. So I just looked like a jakey. Haven't seen him on the door since though...

My faith in the posters has been restored. Pet Hate: Not being able to make myself supper resulting in not being able to have leftovers for dinner all the time. When I lived with my gf I was having baked tatties, pasta bakes, soup etc for my dinner. I felt like a king. Now it's sandwiches. Don't get me wrong, I love a good sandwich. But it doesn't seem to fill me up like it should.

I wrote a big schpeel replying to this. Then I thought nahh, I don't want to come across an arrogant twat 'cause I do take what your saying onboard. But then I thought wait, I had an alright point to be made. Then I changed my mind. Then I put it in a spoiler so you can either accept a Ok mate, sorry. Was jus' sayin'. or you can read on. EDIT: Then I took out the spoiler 'cause I thought, nahh not worth it. No point noising people up when I was clearly annoying people (on purpose yesterday, today wasn't meant to annoy but obviously did). Been feeling a bit shit and this whole thing is adding on top. So it was an annoyance of mine and if I wasn't an arse yesterday I probably could've posted that and got a different reaction. Anywho, carry on. xxxx

Anyone caught this on e4 yet? On on Tuesdays at half ten. Brilliant. Cartoon, on after The Cleveland Show and is nothing like it. Although Bob sounds like the guy outta Family Guy that works in the shop/yoda. If you haven't seen it, some of the jokes regard his youngest daughter telling lies to get him in trouble. His eldest daughter scratching her crotch in a restaurant kitchen and trying to communicate to a cow after thinking it's talking to her by shitting shapes.... A great cartoon and something a little different from what's on the go at the moment regarding Adult Toons...

Pet Hate: The fact that my favourite foods are spicy or contain cheese. Fajitas, chilli, pizza. sandwiches... How can you hate that you ask? 'Cause these are the type of foods that also give me jip regarding IBS. So far I'm soldiering through and taking the hit so I can have my favourites but I'm gonna have to stop soon before I do some permanent damage. :'(

That sounds god awful.

If the above is your argument then you should've just said "Yes" without mentioning bottling. Without a back story it's implied that you just went up to a stranger and went "Katcha ya cunt" with a bottle. I've never been barred but I was refused entry to Korova Klub as they thought I was on something. I have incredibly dark brown eyes. So at night time after a couple of pints it looks like my pupils are massive. I was like "I'm not on annyytthhiinnnggggg" And they just said my pupils were massive and if I didn't move the police would come 'n' get me.

Sorry to disappoint but it's just the biscuit.

Toffypops and party rings are Ace-ic. My gf had never had toffypops before. She has now. Before I forget, fixed.

One has baps and arse. The others have gossip. I wouldn't ask my mum to buy me FRONT so I wouldn't ask my girlfriend. Also, I'm not sure men can 'take' contraceptive. I know they're developing a man pill but it's not on the go yet. I'd happily have a male implant instead of my gf as she hates it. Double standards is her wanking furiously with a vibrator but as soon as you ask for a shot she goes off her head.

I get an awful feeling in my stomach when I think of my gf shagging someone else and enjoying it. But at the same time my willy starts to make movement at the thought of her sport fucking like a champ. Am I sick?

I'm getting a boner looking at this. I'd probs go with option 1 for Paranoid's question and option 2 for stroopy's.

A summer's day pint may be in order after practice this weekend then. That's ace-ic.

Instead of a vst why not try and find sample packs of drum hits? Some really great sounding stuff there that you can (I assume, I use ableton) make a drum kit midi instrument out of and import your midi tracks and let it play away......

It's got to be said Christmas would very quickly turn into the most depressing day of the year...

His cover isn't as good as the one that's on Shrek 2.

Should've said "If I can make your shoulder wet when I'm sleeping, imagine what I can do when I'm really trying. or If I can make your shoulder wet imagine what I can do to your whispering eye. Pet Hate: Things breaking days after warranties finish. Still fuming that I paid 60 quid for my playstation to break a week after the warranty ran out. Bastard.

Fair point. I'll cut it out. PM me if anyone wants (ir)regular updates! xxxxx

I'll start my own tweet app called Shitter. Specifically made for updates on bowel movements. Wrote in the Fight Club-esque "I am Jack's bowel and I'm nae feeling great iday" sorta way. With ability to upload photos.

FUUUUCCKKKK Just did a vile shit that's left me wiping for ages again. Probably that tacos I had last night. And what have I got for lunch today? Left over chilli and taco shells. Fuck. I was feeling great today. Sun is shining I'm in a happy mood. And my rectum has to just ruin everything. On the plus side, if it is IBS I can put in a medical claim to grampian housing and langstane and the likes as IBS is stress related and living in an overcrowded flat with my homeless girlfriend is stressful. But still. I need to go wipe again as I can feel an itch and I filled the toilet with toilet paper. I better go in before someone has to flush it away themselves.