HummerOfIntenseEvil

I was going more for a Partridge Quotathon though

I got an email from the official site today about a preview hearing, but I've ordered it off Play so I'm just gonna wait so that the first time I hear it is when I put my CD in the player The Hand That Feeds is ace though, so I'm expecting the album to be similarly ace.

"We managed to rectify it, though, because it now says, by adapting it, it now says 'Cook' where it once said 'Cock', and it says 'Pass' now where it once said 'Piss', so it's slightly less rude." "Life, is the name of the game, and I wanna play the game with you, baa ba-ba-ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba. BAM!!!!"

"It's nine and a half thousand pounds!" "Lynn, you're laughing at WEATHER!" "'I've got a better idea, why don't you shove it up YOUR arse?' Sue Cook's pulled out..."

That's someone with less than 0 points trying to give you negative points. Or so I believe. Quite good really - if someone is constantly an arse, and gets negatives accordingly, then they can't take it out on others.

Andi Peters: the world's campest straight man. Or at least that's what they used to call him.

I thought Stuart and Neil both portrayed themselves, and the website, well on the show - despite the judge's obvious obliviousness in regards to forums... she sounded like my mum at times ("Fa are ye spikkin til?" "No one! Do you have to be addressing someone in particular if you post a letter to the P&J?"). And hopefully Stranded will live up to their name in regards to getting anywhere with their music. Just a thought - if the vote HAD swung the other way, would Stuart have been legally obliged to pay the 834.79 or whatever it was? (I like the way she put the 79p at the end, as if that made it sound any more realistic...) I'm assuming that the two judges wouldn't be allowed to call themselves QCs if they weren't actual lawyers, but I'm also thinking that there's no way you can have a proper, legally binding court case on a TV show, and that any "awards" made are just up to the conscience of the defendant?

Did anyone see the BBC News last night, reporting on all the leaders saying they pledge to match the UN's "0.7%" ficure for donating money to help poorer nations (which is apparently only about 1p on income tax... sounds very fucking reasonable), yet none of them have actually factored that figure into their spending plans, therefore highlighting how serious they actually were about it? And there's Tony Blair trying to pretend he's so committed to "helping these people who don't have the same advantages as us"... Twat.

I've just remembered one of my biggest driving annoyances: driving along Carden Place. You can almost GUARANTEE that you'll be waiting in a queue at the lights to go straight ahead, and someone will decide to be an utter CUNT and zoom straight into the lane beside you. This can be either left or right, although usually the right hand lane. This is bad enough in itself - the twat is obviously going to have succeeded in jumping a few cars. But what makes it WORSE is when I'm not the first person in the queue, and whatever idiot is in front of me LET'S the twat get away first. HE'S JUMPED THE QUEUE! DON'T LET HIM PAST, YOU FOOL! I've thought for a long time that the main reason there are so many shit/arrogant drivers out there is because of two facts: 1) Driving is seen as a right, not a privilige. I took 5 attempts to pass my test. That bint off Driving School took 18 or something. Should there perhaps be a limit on the number of times you take the test, or at the very least a limit on how quickly you can take it again? Although this would possibly lead to a lot of folk just driving without a licence. 2) You get taught how to pass the driving test - you don't get taught how to drive. Important difference I think. Did anyone here NOT completely ignore the "push and pull" steering method the second they drove away from the test centre? Does anyone else tend to drive with just one hand most of the time? And overtaking is not a requirement on the test - in fact duel carriageway driving as a whole is not a requirement, I believe. I personally didn't do any overtaking until I did Pass Plus, and when I did, it was pissing down, which brings me to another point: you don't get taught how to drive in shit weather. Obviously nobody can control the elements, but surely there would be some way of simulating it at test centres or something? But obviously that would require the Government to spend money on teaching folk to drive better as opposed to speed cameras. And the police wouldn't want that. I would also like compulsory retesting every few years, particularly with the eldery - a doctors note saying "yes, Elsie's able to walk... just don't ask about her reaction speed or eye sight LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!" isn't particularly useful. However, I think as a start they could make sure EVERYONE is tested on EVERYTHING - I would have passed first time if I hadn't fucked up on a roundabout on the way back to Clunie Place, and i dread to think what would have happened if I had, because I was almost clueless in regards to roundabouts. And to this day I can't parallel park for shit - which isn't helped by the fact that IF you parallel park in the exam you get 2 car lengths to do it. Who the fuck NEEDS to parallel park within 2 car lengths? How about getting you to park in ONE car length - a much more useful skill. Apologies for the size of the rant, but I needed to vent my spleen.

I take it he's not Jim Porter though...?

that's spiggin' awesome!

which stank of

with a netball

this doesn't work

I do that. It never works though. I've recently been trying to make it look like I'm about to screech to a halt, but I've yet to perfect that one. I think I would need a car with considerably better acceleration than a Fiesta to pull it off properly, otherwise they probably WOULD actually smash through my window.