Dan G Posted October 1, 2003 Report Share Posted October 1, 2003 What do you get if you cross an old black atom song with an even older Granny-pleasing 'comedian'?Des O' LationWhat does the most epic Black Atom song, and Egon Spengler's job have in common?They're both Chasing Ghosts.Why did the black atom guitarist get wet in the rain?Because he forgot to wear his large mac.What do you get if you cross a black atom guitarist and the company that the Ultimate Warrior was a former employee?The World Rassling Federation.What is the black atom drummer's favourite religious period?Len-tWhat do you call a metal band that enjoys eating food during irregular times of the day?Snack AtomWhat do you call a metal band that does lots of drugs?Smack AtomWhat do you call a metal band that does even more drugs?Crack Atom(this type of joke could go on forever so I will stop)Whats the difference between Black Atom and a cow pat?Black atom aren't shit.(unless they were called Cack Atom...)Whats the difference between Black Atom and a vacuum cleaner?You cant switch a black atom to 'suck mode' and pretend its a lady's rude bits and consequently get your penis stuck in it and then have to go to the hospital when I was 15. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superterrorizer Posted October 1, 2003 Report Share Posted October 1, 2003 :laughing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tav Posted October 1, 2003 Report Share Posted October 1, 2003 MORE MORE! The last one was sheer genius. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rach_69 Posted October 1, 2003 Report Share Posted October 1, 2003 Originally posted by Tav MORE MORE! The last one was sheer genius. haha!! i was just thinking the same thing!! :laughing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac Atom Posted October 1, 2003 Report Share Posted October 1, 2003 :laughing: I ruv it!!!! I ruv them all!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Found Power Posted October 1, 2003 Report Share Posted October 1, 2003 Originally posted by Dan Loaded Whats the difference between Black Atom and a vacuum cleaner?You cant switch a black atom to 'suck mode' and pretend its a lady's rude bits and consequently get your penis stuck in it and then have to go to the hospital when I was 15. This never really happened...did it???:O Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tav Posted October 1, 2003 Report Share Posted October 1, 2003 Re: Re: Crap jokes PART III. Enjoy!Originally posted by New Found Power This never really happened...did it???:O I could believe it. Dan what's happening with your CD btw? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vapid Posted October 2, 2003 Report Share Posted October 2, 2003 Re: Re: Crap jokes PART III. Enjoy!Originally posted by New Found Power This never really happened...did it???:O at least he wasn't living on a dairy farm. with the milking machines. and the cows, come to think of it.what kind of farm did fish grow up on again???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan G Posted October 2, 2003 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2003 NO it didn't actually happen. Although I'm sure it has happened to someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vapid Posted October 2, 2003 Report Share Posted October 2, 2003 Originally posted by Dan Loaded NO it didn't actually happen. Although I'm sure it has happened to someone. yes dan. I believe you. honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mouse Posted October 3, 2003 Report Share Posted October 3, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bob Double Jack Posted October 7, 2003 Report Share Posted October 7, 2003 Contribution.A contribution to crap jokes.Bloke chats up bird in pub. He says to her "Whats your name darling?"She replies "Carmen. Which is ironic, because I like CARS and I like MEN. Whats your name?"To which the man replies...."Charlie Beer Cunt".I thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scorge Spike Posted October 7, 2003 Report Share Posted October 7, 2003 What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?You only have to punch information into the drum machine once.What do you call a loser who hangs out with musicians?A drummer.What do you call a drummer who breaks up with his girlfriend?Homeless.Why to bands need Roadies? To translate what the drummer says.What's the best way to confuse a drummer? Put a sheet of music in front of him.What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner? You have to plug one of them in before it sucks. How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Five: one to screw in the light bulb and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart would have done it.How can you tell when a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up, and he doesn't know when to come in. How is a drum solo like a sneeze? You can tell it's coming, but you can't do anything about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Atom Posted October 8, 2003 Report Share Posted October 8, 2003 Hmmm. You obviously don't know our drummer(/guitarist/singer/timpani-player/bassist/keyboarist/songwriter/bazookist/general legend!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scorge Spike Posted October 8, 2003 Report Share Posted October 8, 2003 I reckon those jokes have a more accurate resemblance to my ability (or lack thereof), rather than the Lenster. You can't beat a good drum joke. Boom Boom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sludge Posted October 11, 2003 Report Share Posted October 11, 2003 what do you get if you mix a guitar with a black atom member?black eye-tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest stripey Posted October 11, 2003 Report Share Posted October 11, 2003 Whats black and blue and doesnt like sex?The 6 year old tied up in the boot of my car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rach_69 Posted October 11, 2003 Report Share Posted October 11, 2003 Originally posted by stripey Whats black and blue and doesnt like sex?The 6 year old tied up in the boot of my car. thats just wrong Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest stripey Posted October 11, 2003 Report Share Posted October 11, 2003 Originally posted by Rach_69 thats just wrong Peadophile says to a kid in the playpark:"Ill give you some sweeties if you come into my van"kid says:"If you give me a fiver ill come in your mouth" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sludge Posted October 11, 2003 Report Share Posted October 11, 2003 i gather your not a fan then.whats the point? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest stripey Posted October 11, 2003 Report Share Posted October 11, 2003 Originally posted by sludge i gather your not a fan then.whats the point? Crap jokes is the point. I've never heard of black atom.EDIT> If I can't download their music, if its not on vinyl, then it doesnt exist. I think its stupid to expect to have a fan-base when the only outlet is through gigs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dave_Hay Posted October 12, 2003 Report Share Posted October 12, 2003 Dan, your a god of funny, crap jokes :laughing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foreskin Ninja Posted October 12, 2003 Report Share Posted October 12, 2003 Originally posted by stripey EDIT> If I can't download their music, if its not on vinyl, then it doesnt exist. I think its stupid to expect to have a fan-base when the only outlet is through gigs. Why not check the place where there's songs available to download from most local bands?Click. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest stripey Posted October 12, 2003 Report Share Posted October 12, 2003 Originally posted by Foreskin Ninja Why not check the place where there's songs available to download from most local bands?Click. Ok i just checked it, all of the tunes appear to be mp3.com, which you have to sign up for, which means I will not bother. This probably puts off a lot of other people aswell. The download page on the aubl.net doesnt link direct to the files either, its through some daft download counter, which means you can't hold the mouse pointer over a link to see which ones might not be on mp3.com. You have to click on it to find out. So I got fucked off with it after about 30 seconds and closed the browser. I don't understand this un-thought out half arsed approach people have to making websites and putting music on them. It just ends up being counter-productive if you don't *think* about what you are doing.And when will people learn than mp3.com is a fucking stupid place to put your music?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foreskin Ninja Posted October 12, 2003 Report Share Posted October 12, 2003 Originally posted by stripey And when will people learn than mp3.com is a fucking stupid place to put your music?! Why is it a stupid place? I've been a member for years, it's quick, easy and free to sign up, and you get access to thousands of bands mp3's. What's wrong with putting a little effort in, when you're going to get something out of it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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