Hog Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 This one is called "Give me Strength". Its a 7 minuter. I do some vocals at the end, tried to go for an eerie harmony thingy. http://www.picturethis-home.biz/html/../assets/applets/Track_1_011.wmaConstructive feedback is always welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleevesMcginty Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 Starts of promisingreminds me of a Slipknot song, then the Cookie Monster arrives with this monotonous riff for remainder of the song doesnt really grab us, maybe its too long. The ending is okay not convinced it fits with the rest of the song but this sounds all too familiar and datedsorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted November 6, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 Coolio... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted November 6, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 Starts of promisingreminds me of a Slipknot song' date=' then the Cookie Monster arrives with this monotonous riff for remainder of the song doesnt really grab us, maybe its too long. The ending is okay not convinced it fits with the rest of the song but this sounds all too familiar and datedsorry.[/quote']It sure is to long, Im thinking og halfing it! All valid points, thanks for your feedback Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonesaw Bazz Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 i could go on at length about things that could benefit this song. The riffs ain't really strong enough to carry it though. The main riff being repeated far too often without any variation at all. some sort of little fill every so often by guitar or bass? and it is obvious that there is only one guitar, as alot of the song just sounds really empty. Mostly noted at the start straight after the vocal break. It should really kick your teeth in when the music starts again but it doesn't. The songs lack of substance is noticed in it's length also. 3 riffs was it? i ain't gonna listen again just to check though.I will give your revised version (if there is gonna be one) a go for ya though. Don't wanna be perceived as being twofaced or backstabbing or anything.Bazz Oot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted November 6, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 Imagine it as a 3 minute song i.e. take away the first 4 minutes hehe. A condensed version should be on its way. Thanks for the constructive criticsm Bazz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Milner Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 cool riffs, not a big fan of the vocals but they go with the music. You should at least double track the guitar tho that would really chunk it up. The snare could do with coming up in the mix as well i think but thats personal choice most likely. The end is pretty cool but the song does need to be a bit shorter.nice effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve corps Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 without ripping it to bits, its extremely boring and lifeless to my ears.riffs are bland and awkward sounding(one in particular sounds like it was recycled from a slipknot tune), vocals really generic in a poor death metal way(reminds me of a poor mans nic holmes), lots of nothing going on far too long.weak sounding drumming, no balls at all.tired, cliched metal i'm afraid, not even done well.i like the odd vocal harmony at the end.i'm a massive metal fan, have been for 17 odd years, and this simply isnt very good imho.in hindsight i have ripped it to bits, oops, but its the feedback forum and i havent stooped to personal, childish insults so knives away before you guys have a seizure this time, wouldnt want anyone to fall and hurt themself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted November 6, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 without ripping it to bits' date=' its extremely boring and lifeless to my ears.riffs are bland and awkward sounding(one in particular sounds like it was recycled from a slipknot tune), vocals really generic in a poor death metal way(reminds me of a poor mans nic holmes), lots of nothing going on far too long.weak sounding drumming, no balls at all.tired, cliched metal i'm afraid, not even done well.i like the odd vocal harmony at the end.i'm a massive metal fan, have been for 17 odd years, and this simply isnt very good imho.in hindsight i have ripped it to bits, oops, but its the feedback forum and i havent stooped to personal, childish insults so knives away before you guys have a seizure this time, wouldnt want anyone to fall and hurt themself.[/quote']I agree with a lot of what you say, no daggers.The song is too long, I like the break down bitty. Drumming is decent IMHO but well opinions are like arseholes. You like the vocal harmony, yey We can do better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 Eeek.I don't want to come across all 'this is shite' etc but i'm finding it hard to grab anything i like out of this song unfortunately, i was kind of expecting better.The intro riff is a Korn rip off, and the remaining riffs are just overwhelmingly monotonous with a 'my first chordal progression' feel to them. The 'outro' feels like a cut and paste job as it doesn't fit and seems to have been tagged on at the end. I's a shame 'cause i quite liked some of your older stuff and seen as tho i like ur guitar work in spike i feel a little underwhelmed by this track on a whole.Sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gregor Ascension Posted November 6, 2005 Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 i really liked the druming, but the guitar sound is incrediably weak for the kind of music it is. yes its tuned down, but doenst sound like the black hole of sound which i feel is needed. maybe invest in a new pedal, or layer the guitar over numerous tracks to get a more powerful sound. i disagree that its to long, and think the last minute of the song was really quite good, but maybe some more ideas need to be injected to the song. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted November 6, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2005 New amp on its way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan G Posted November 7, 2005 Report Share Posted November 7, 2005 I'd agree with most of the other poss here, regarding one guitar etc etcthe song reminds me of a cross between "lost paradise" paradise lost mixed with the comedy major key riffs that arch enemy sometimes do (or the one also found 3/4 of the way through Corporal Jigsaw Quandary by Carcass).I'd say if the song was condensed to half the length it wouldn't have sounded as tired... however the riffs are all a little simple (not that that is alway a bad thing) but when there is only 4 of them in a 7minute song it makes it sound uninspired...The last minute of the with the eerie bits I'd say was the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted November 8, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2005 I'd agree with most of the other poss here' date=' regarding one guitar etc etcthe song reminds me of a cross between "lost paradise" paradise lost mixed with the comedy major key riffs that arch enemy sometimes do (or the one also found 3/4 of the way through Corporal Jigsaw Quandary by Carcass).I'd say if the song was condensed to half the length it wouldn't have sounded as tired... however the riffs are all a little simple (not that that is alway a bad thing) but when there is only 4 of them in a 7minute song it makes it sound uninspired...The last minute of the with the eerie bits I'd say was the best.[/quote']I pretty much agree with all of that. Next stuff will be way more complicated. Dont want to become a Nu-metal band hehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted November 11, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 11, 2005 the odd vocal harmony at the end.i'm a massive metal fan' date=' have been for 17 odd years,.[/quote']Just 17? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chi 666 Posted November 23, 2005 Report Share Posted November 23, 2005 SOMe true points in other posts. i like it, i like the simple guitar, drums could have been louder but thats easy solved. im a fan of slipknot and korn and can say that no riffs jumped out at me as being a rip off, but hay no one nowadays can make a riff that wont be ripping off someone elses. (New S.o.M tunes comming sooooooooooooooooon) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HateEvent Posted November 26, 2005 Report Share Posted November 26, 2005 The bit I liked most of that was at 5:20. It just seemed to get far more lively. The first riff was cool too, I think that - as has been said before - it IS a bit too repetitive and seems to drag, but yeah, pretty cool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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