Guest ()Papaspyrou() Posted October 16, 2005 Report Share Posted October 16, 2005 I guess you'd have to listen to the songs to understand the context, but whats your favourite (in terms of funny) lyrics.I should probably have grown out of this sort of thing, but its the style that its portrayed in that craks me up ever timeEminem - As the World turns""Den Den Den Den Den Den, Go go gadget dick!Whipped that shit out, and aint no doubt about itIt hit the ground and caused an earthquake and power outageI shouted "Now bitch, lets see who gets the best!"Stuffed that shit in crooked and fucked that fat slut to death (Ahh!!Ahhh!)Come here bitch!Come here!Take this motherfuckin dick!Bitch"" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam 45 Posted October 16, 2005 Report Share Posted October 16, 2005 'Fuck, she's got siphilis' - Onion TerrorClassic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jammer Posted October 16, 2005 Report Share Posted October 16, 2005 Mother told me, yes she told me, I'd meet girls like you. She also told me "stay away you'll never know what you'll catch"Surrender - Cheap Trick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mouse Posted October 16, 2005 Report Share Posted October 16, 2005 arrr uhhhhhhhhh guhhhhWho's there?ah uh ah*grunt*Now get outta here.huuh, you fool get the fuck out!mmhhhmYou ready?You Goddamn better believe it.Then take your drawers off,and work your legs.Open your ass up like a keg.Let me tap it,I must have it, hmm.Furry fool, you are mine.I'll drink your ass like wine,and when semen pours all over your head you know you must be dead.Skeletor I knew ya groove,and shake it so damn goodand when you cum on through my hood I'll give you a piece of wood.You furry fool i know, and i will not disagree,but there's one thing we don't like and it starts with He-man, oh no I don't know which way to run or turn.Don't worry Skeletor, your pants on fire my cock will burn.My cocks on fire, for more dick!You know Skeletor...Yes, my head is so damn thick like yours.No brain inside, just a lot of fucking fur,and if i ripped it off, you'd find a boy and call him her, right?No Skeletor, that's not what I'd do.I'd bend you over and shoot, hhhhhaaa, chocolate goo..in your asshole.Lemmie lie.Lemmie tell the truth.Now who are you?I don't know.Let's break it true, now,shake your ass c'mon beastman, shake your furry fur off.I can't it's made of fur.Bitch well then whack me off.Grab your hairy palms.Hairy, hairy indeed.They're hairy as fuck.Rake some leaves.Ahh, what ever you need.Now we're drunk, *snarl* we'll be in jail.But, I'll rape you master.It never fails.He's always got my ass on his mind,and it's sure in fact.When he waxes me, he waxes all night longand that is that.Now, Beastman, Beastman what do you know about taking off your clothes?You're just a slut from down below in Castle Greyskull, c'mon.ahh Skeletor I shaved my legs for you tonight,and if you see my cock I hope you go in fright.ahh Skeletor you made me do some coke,ahhh I'm up all night and its no joke.Furry fool, break dance,take off your furry pants,take off your high heels,and put them in your ass.Now somebody is tip toe-ing,and someone just came in.And someone's pretty fat.Beastman's pretty thin!I've got AIDS,Beastman AIDS,and I'll spread it into every good boy and girl today.Watch me give you cum stains in your fucking drawers.Beastman watch your mouth,we don't need that language any more.C'mon Skeletor, don't you wanna see me work it now?Beastman show them how you're going to get my ass and plow.Now stick your cock inside, like Rake Yohn fucking said.That faggot fuckin` douche bag only knows how to give head.Two men,in bed,his face is getting red.Ahh listen to everything i fucking said.*grunts and snarls*ah Beastman, do you, know how to end this song? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bluesxman Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 I Hate Nerys Hughes by Half Man Half Biscuit -St Vitus came to my townAnd visited the cemetery.The dead got up and everythingBecame one big one big cacaphony.They all went down the social andThey claimed their supplementary.And all the necrophiliacsWere walking 'round in misery.The rotting mass of calciumWas shopping in the Superstore,Careering down the aislesLike one big psychopathic carnivore,The shelf-stackers work of art,In ecstasy crashed to the floor,And meanwhile the Saint wasGoing crazy at the fire-door.Ah, the beautiful sparkling healthy spa water of Bath, in Avon.I! hate! Nerys! Hughes!I! hate! Nerys! Hughes!I! hate! Nerys! Hughes!I! hate! Nerys! Hughes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bluesxman Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying - Bloodhound GangI was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert That night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love. It had been a while. In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10. I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops. Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips, milky white skin and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell.Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Well I find it's quite a thrillWhen she grinds me against her willYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave", this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin', cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer." Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And then she told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Well I find it's quite a thrillWhen she grinds me against her willYes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?" Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. Got to nail her back at her trailer. Heh. That rhymes. I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Well I find it's quite a thrillWhen she grinds me against her willYes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin and slid on into The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop. There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb", when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped. So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'Well I find it's quite a thrillWhen she grinds me against her willYes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Mog Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 I can't make boasts about my body. The workmanship is somewhat shoddy. Sometimes I overwork my gob. Can't buy you gifts, I've got no job. I know you find my habits sickly. I know sometimes I cum too quickly. I don't mind jokes like "two-stoke wonder". Just don't slash my trust asunder.Arab Strap - General Plea To A Girlfriend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AmbientMood Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 I can't make boasts about my body. The workmanship is somewhat shoddy. Sometimes I overwork my gob. Can't buy you gifts' date=' I've got no job. I know you find my habits sickly. I know sometimes I cum too quickly. I don't mind jokes like "two-stoke wonder". Just don't slash my trust asunder.Arab Strap - General Plea To A Girlfriend[/quote']Thats not funny.Maybe I've listened to too much Zappa though.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McGoatski Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 Your dog was your only friend,You`d spend your life-savings fixing its broken leg,You loved it more than your parents loved you,And then I ran it over.Your dog was dumb, and now it`s dead,My tyre-tracks are tattooed on its head,My tyre-tracks are tattooed on its head.I dragged it 50 yards down the street,And you ran after me in tears,I almost crashed because I ws laughing so hard,Then I turned around and tried to hit you.Your dog was dumb, and now it`s dead,My tyre-tracks are tattooed on its head,My tyre-tracks are tattooed on its head.Anal Cunt - I Intentionally Ran Over Your Dog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mordred Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 LAWNMOWER DETH Spook Pery Happenings In The Snooker Hall Pointy teeth as sharp as blades,Ray Reardon haircut fallen from grace,Pointy sticks - they make him mad,'Cos Dracula was our Ray's dad.Spook, Pery, Snooker HallCrowley once challenged Ray to a gameLosing your soul was the paying stake,Crowley used garlic, brightstone and fire,'Cos fucking Ray Reardon is a vampire.Ray Reardon, Ray Reardon,We are all doomedSpook, Pery, Snooker HallReferee, come clean the white,Dracula he makes a bite.F.A.T. (Facist And Tubby)Is that your gut?Or the front of a bus?You should be ashamed of yourself.You look like a baloon,'Cos you're so full of lard,It's good for none of our health.You fat bastardFacist and tubbyRad DudeDon't talk to me about your scene,And that anarcho ideas are more than dreams,You've got a board and a baseball hat,Don't fill me with your right on crap.So you've got a board - Rad Dude,And youlisten to sod - Rad Dude,And the scene is heaven - Rad Dude,You're only eleven - Rad Dude.No meat, no food, no sex,Younever get the opportunity to shop at Next,You wish you were a big puffy glam,Then you wouldn't have to give a damn.Then I could spray my hair,About the ozone layer, I wouldn't care.Then I wish I was glam,Then I wouldn't give a damn,Then I could spray my hair,The ozone layer I don't careRad dudeI'm the Rad DudeYipe Lawnmower Deth are the champs on comedy lyrics Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mouse Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 Too many good Anal Cunt ones, so here is a good example"Your dad took out a second mortgage to buy you a horseYou loved it, and took better care for it than yourselfYou command it, cleaned it, and fed it apples every dayI was broke, drunk, and hungry, so i killed your horse, and ate itI ate your horseI ate your horseI ate your horseI ate your horseWhen you came to the stable next morningYou found a pile of hair, teeth, and hoovesI hid around the back, to listen to you cryThen i beat an old lady to death whit the leg boneI ate your horseI ate your horseI ate your horseI ate your horse" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McGoatski Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 Too many good Anal Cunt ones' date=' so here is a good example"Your dad took out a second mortgage to buy you a horseYou loved it, and took better care for it than yourselfYou command it, cleaned it, and fed it apples every dayI was broke, drunk, and hungry, so i killed your horse, and ate itI ate your horseI ate your horseI ate your horseI ate your horseWhen you came to the stable next morningYou found a pile of hair, teeth, and hoovesI hid around the back, to listen to you cryThen i beat an old lady to death whit the leg boneI ate your horseI ate your horseI ate your horseI ate your horse"[/quote']Suppose we should draw a line under Anal Cunt now cos quoting some of their other songs would get you lynched here, seeing as so many folk think if you quote something you must agree with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue Denim.. Posted October 18, 2005 Report Share Posted October 18, 2005 Barnes And Barnes - Fish Heads Lyrics Fish heads fish headsRoly poly fish headsFish heads fish headsEat them upYum In the morning laughing happy fish headsIn the evening floating in the soup Ask a fish head anything you want toThey won't answer they can't talk I took a fish head out to see a movieDidn't have to pay to get it in They can't play baseball they don't wear sweatersThey're not good dancers they don't play drums Roly poly fish heads are never seenDrinking cappuccino in Italian restaurantswith Oriental women Yeah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-matthEw- Posted October 18, 2005 Report Share Posted October 18, 2005 Bob Dylan's 115th Dream,I was riding on the MayflowerWhen I thought I spied some landI yelled for Captain ArabI have yuh understandWho came running to the deckSaid, "Boys, forget the whaleLook on over yonderCut the enginesChange the sailHaul on the bowline"We sang that melodyLike all tough sailors doWhen they are far away at sea"I think I'll call it America"I said as we hit landI took a deep breathI fell down, I could not standCaptain Arab he startedWriting up some deedsHe said, "Let's set up a fortAnd start buying the place with beads"Just then this cop comes down the streetCrazy as a loonHe throw us all in jailFor carryin' harpoonsAh me I busted outDon't even ask me howI went to get some helpI walked by a Guernsey cowWho directed me downTo the Bowery slumsWhere people carried signs aroundSaying, "Ban the bums"I jumped right into lineSayin', "I hope that I'm not late"When I realized I hadn't eatenFor five days straightI went into a restaurantLookin' for the cookI told them I was the editorOf a famous etiquette bookThe waitress he was handsomeHe wore a powder blue capeI ordered some suzette, I said"Could you please make that crepe"Just then the whole kitchen explodedFrom boilin' fatFood was flying everywhereAnd I left without my hatNow, I didn't mean to be nosyBut I went into a bankTo get some bail for ArabAnd all the boys back in the tankThey asked me for some collateralAnd I pulled down my pantsThey threw me in the alleyWhen up comes this girl from FranceWho invited me to her houseI went, but she had a friendWho knocked me outAnd robbed my bootsAnd I was on the street againWell, I rapped upon a houseWith the U.S. flag upon displayI said, "Could you help me outI got some friends down the way"The man says, "Get out of hereI'll tear you limb from limb"I said, "You know they refused Jesus, too"He said, "You're not HimGet out of here before I break your bonesI ain't your pop"I decided to have him arrestedAnd I went looking for a copI ran right outsideAnd I hopped inside a cabI went out the other doorThis Englishman said, "Fab"As he saw me leap a hot dog standAnd a chariot that stoodParked across from a buildingAdvertising brotherhoodI ran right through the front doorLike a hobo sailor doesBut it was just a funeral parlorAnd the man asked me who I wasI repeated that my friendsWere all in jail, with a sighHe gave me his cardHe said, "Call me if they die"I shook his hand and said goodbyeRan out to the streetWhen a bowling ball came down the roadAnd knocked me off my feetA pay phone was ringingIt just about blew my mindWhen I picked it up and said helloThis foot came through the lineWell, by this time I was fed upAt tryin' to make a stabAt bringin' back any helpFor my friends and Captain ArabI decided to flip a coinLike either heads or tailsWould let me know if I should goBack to ship or back to jailSo I hocked my sailor suitAnd I got a coin to flipIt came up tailsIt rhymed with sailsSo I made it back to the shipWell, I got back and tookThe parkin' ticket off the mastI was ripping it to shredsWhen this coastguard boat went pastThey asked me my nameAnd I said, "Captain Kidd"They believed me butThey wanted to knowWhat exactly that I didI said for the Pope of ErukeI was employedThey let me go right awayThey were very paranoidWell, the last I heard of ArabHe was stuck on a whaleThat was married to the deputySheriff of the jailBut the funniest thing wasWhen I was leavin' the bayI saw three ships a-sailin'They were all heading my wayI asked the captain what his name wasAnd how come he didn't drive a truckHe said his name was ColumbusI just said, "Good luck."Also, locally, some of Fluffy and the Rainbow Bunnys stuff is hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tensium Posted October 19, 2005 Report Share Posted October 19, 2005 GAWK, CHA KOAH. DA-DAY-DA-DA-DA-DAY-DA-DA WHOAAAAfantomas, page 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardcore Mel Posted October 20, 2005 Report Share Posted October 20, 2005 'How do I know if I'm ready to take it thereJust thinkin' about it it scares me, like FreddyCos I'm virgin, virgin sexyIf you want me, just text meCos I'm havin' such a chemical reactionCome on baby'Virgin Sexy, by the Sugababes. I think it might be about anal sex, but I'm not sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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