Scorge

I'm still recovering from the shock of hitting that 180 in the Western! I can fire the maximums in whilst practising fairly regularly, but getting them out on a game 'for real' is far harder (even playing Teuchter league I get a dose of the nerves at my frst visit to the oche, shameful). Sounds like you're close though: keep the faith!

In practise I started by aiming for 30 dart legs against the computer: that means you need to average just over 50 to beat it, hence the computer automatically takes 50 for each opposing visit. When I started winning more games than I lost on that setting, I took it down to 27 (comp deducts 56 per visit), and then again to 24 (deducts 62 per visit), which is where I'm stuck now! For doubles I just do round the clock, starting at a target of 81 darts (around 1 in 4), then taking 9 darts off when you manage it (lowest I've managed is 46).

If you can throw around 25 dart legs then you'd be alright for a half-decent pub team, at least in the LDDL anyway!

PS: Some observations on the Lakeside while we are here...

- Tony O'Shea is still an annoying twunt

- Joey Ten Berge's wife = hello nurse!

- Christian Kist is worth a tenner each way (except he isn't, now that I've tipped him and hence put the curse on him)

- Winstanley to win, then feck off to the PDC....

I think Alkaline's right though: I'm sure they're supposed to radio through to the next station or contact security.

They're supposed to radio ahead to to British Transport Police at the next station, however that wouldn't have been terribly easy at 10pm on a Friday night, and where the bampot's actual stop was only a few minutes off.

I suspect he probably knew that, and got what he deserved, tbh.....

Living with an inconsiderate cunt. She's has been away since mid December, and last night some random guy walked into the flat. I was on my own, sitting in my pyjamas, and had no idea who the fuck this guy was. Turned out my flatmate has given him her keys to sleep in her room over New Year. I had no idea about this whatsoever. She's adamant she told me, well a fucking note on the fridge before she left would have been appreciated. Or a text "reminding" us, as she's always banging on about how you need to take responsibility for your visitors.

Worst thing is, he tried to open my door at about 3am, I'm lucky I had locked it. When he showed himself to her bedroom, my door was wide open so he would have known it wasn't the bloody bathroom. Especially since he used the bathroom before he left.

I was too uncomfortable this morning to bring it up, because again I was on my own in the flat.

She is an inconsiderate fuck at times, and that bloke is not welcome back.

That sounds like a cunt punt offence that one. Get her telt.

Pet hate of the day is getting home and finding someone has fucked off with my supply of hangover cranberry flavoured MacB, and there's no Nurofen going. Cunnnnts.

Started on the lagers last night, but quicky turned into a Tasmanian Devil and was necking Jagerbombs, brandy, mulled wine, rum and anything else thrown at me. Pain. I'm starting marathon training tomorrow, so this should (hopefully) be my only appearance in here for a few months....

Here we go:

Robin Gibb (captain/joker)

Aretha Franklin

Andy Williams

Etta James

Lemmy

Kirk Douglas

Mickey Rooney

M*rg*r*t Th*tch*r

Fidel Castro

Hugo Chavez

Murray Walker

Stirling Moss

Al-Megrahi

Jocky Wilson

David Blaine

Peter O'Sullevan (sp?)

Dick Van Dyke

Jimmy Jones

Jake LaMotta

Noel Edmonds

Turn K river K. Purely because the way you've phrased it makes it sound like the 85 wins.

Nah. Bags had the right idea, turn came down a 4 and as soon as I saw that I said 'here comes the fucking seven'. I was right. It was one of those horrible tables with coolers every 3 hands and people having quads/houses/flushes etc. all the time. Had to bin JJ twice, AK twice (all four folds turned out to be correct) or I'd have gone out before then. Gargh.

There's another Sunday mega-monthly at the end of January BTW.

Aye, pretty much all of them are playing for the Royal now! I'm still larging it with the Drumlithie TR down the arse end of the league, almost got my first trophy at the Charities Cup (pairs, obviously!) but yer bastarding bandmate got in the way....

Last night's donkey league game is up there with the sickest shit I have seen in a long time. Here is a sample for the maths-heads:

KK (his royal Plinth-ness) vs TT (me) vs 85 (donk)

Flop: T62

Who ends up winning?

Thought it was about time we had some decent spears chat on the go again.

I'm heading up the road for Christmas tonight after work and that always means plenty of darts playing and chat so last weekend I spent some vouchers I got for my birthday on a set of darts and have been brushing up the technique in the pubs of Leith! Let me tell you, i've met some characters! One was parading up and down the pub, weilding a bar stool like a set of bagpipes.

Who's been watching the World Championships? I think they're looking to create the longest tournament in history with this one. Taylor's first and second round matches are ten days apart!

Shame there's no characters like that in the Laurencekirk league!

Caught the end of the Newton/Pipe match last night, was a good 'un. I kept saying I wouldn't put my typical £10 on Gary 'Choker' Anderson but the sod nearly won last year! Shat a length when he nearly made a mess of his first game.....

David Cameron is the obvious choice. To come through the year he's had and the trials and tribulations of coalition government and still be ahead in the polls is a remarkable achievement. He did exactly the right thing in using our veto. I don't think it's a case of pandering to Conservative MPs at all. They're elected to represent the views of British people and to protect their interests, David Cameron was wise to listen to them rather than to people elected to represent the views and interests of other countries.

Hands up who didn't see this vomit-inducing pile of lip service coming? Thought so.

I almost thought this was the return of Rinky, but the spelling and punctuation is far too good. If he comes on and calls me a chippy-eating fat bastard who can't play drums, we'll know I was wrong.

As for the thread: times change, people move on, technology/consumerism moves on, no harm in getting a tad nostalgic every so often but no point pining for the old days because they won't happen again,etc....

Dave Officer waiting for a train this morning at Stanehive. I think.

Someone old-school on here with a bit of time on their hands should come up with a biq quiz. The winner gets their band to headline/play last at the Lemon Tree....

Experiencing freefall.

Nothing else comes close, frankly....

I think the discussion needs to be reared towards the real football news. Culter Juniors re-instated to the Scottish Cup. Home draw to Partick Thistle. Hope they keep the tie at Crombie.

Yep, Jags fans have until tomorrow to reserve seats. I'm down in Englandshire that weekend but would love to have had a pice of it.....

Scoring a penalty at Links Park this arvo. Magic!

£100 tournament on at G again this Sunday, they are expecting 100 runners (thats the cap anyway).... 15,000 chips, 30 minute levels...shoudl be decent amount of play and prizepool. Anyone else playing?

Depends on how my football coupons come in! Tried to satellite my way in last Sunday, and was looking alright until some utter knobber called my button shove with eight-six off (I had fives) for 1400 less than my stack. Found two sixes on the board (natch) then remarked 'I've still no idea how I won that' a few minutes later. Cock.

Inspired by a recent juke-off at the darts, let's have some old-old-old school:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwFouEPdbic

3rd round SC draw:

Spartans v Partick Thistle;

Ayr United v Montrose;

Irvine Meadow v Livingston;

Stirling Albion v Dundee;

Stenhousemuir v Alloa/Annan;

Greenock Morton v Deveronvale;

Airdrie United v Gala Fairydean;

Keith v Arbroath;

Fraserburgh/Elgin City v Queen's Park;

Stranraer v Forfar Athletic;

Clachnacuddin/Inverurie Loco Works v Peterhead;

Ross County v Albion Rovers;

Bo'ness Utd v Cowdenbeath;

Auchinleck Talbot v Vale of Leithen;

Brechin City v Dumbarton;

East Fife v East Stirling/Buckie Thistle.

Rumour is that Spartans might have fielded an ineligble player in the last round, so they might get the dunt and let Culter back in.

I would wholeheartedly approve.

You're going to be the new 'Is Cloud living in Poland?' joke. I can feel it.

Duncan Stuart, that is correct. There were very few hot barmaids when I worked there. A few of them were alright, I tried to get in about at least one of them but inevitably got knocked back due to my lack of good looks or personality. One of my colleagues was smashing loads of them though, the dirty rat. I did shag a customer a couple of weeks into the semester, which I was pretty pleased about, however she was kind of fat and it transpired that two of the other barmen had shagged her the week before, which kind of took the shine off it.

Duncan Stuart? I worked for campus services for over 4 years you see. Some of the barmaids in there were totally hot.

(and I had sex with, like, 3 of them 'cause I'm a mad playa.)

Pure LAAAADS

Anyone fancy a Spain vs Scotland programme from last week's game?

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/150677359744?ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1423.l2649

Didn't think so......

Stagecoach prices have always been much too high: recently paid £4.90 for a single between Inverbervie and Montrose, which is about 12 miles. Disgusting. At least out my way we've got Nicoll buses, which are cheaper (£9 return to Aibrrrdeen, though you do have to put up with a few back roads) , and the bus drivers are diamond geezers on them.

Anyone in need of a laugh (Nev excepted) may want to check Montrose's second goal against the Heed on SFL TV later in the week. Clanger time!

is this really Metallica, or just a very good piss-take?

I half expected the voice of Noel Edmonds to scream GOOOOOOTCHA! at the end of that. As Bags says though, this is the band that put out St Anger...