Lawy Lawson:Attorney

Cosplay is the act of dressing up like a videogame character or anime assclown and hoping about covnetions playing Dance Dance Revoloution and being a total fucking moron who speaks in pigin Japanese. The sad thing is' date=' the girls that do this are sometimes quite hot (the guys are usually 2.5 times their ideal bodyweight), but their hotness is offset by the fact they have the time to make such elaborate replications of some submissive twat from Final Fantasy XiiiiXIIIIvXylmX and write blogs of a Tolkienesqe stature about that crap [img']http://www.planet-megaman.com/mm3/images/Other/MMCosplay.jpg This megaman got the stomach power-up! I'm masturbating and it burns! ... To be serious, the Japanese are quite good at it, but in the USA there seems to be a high proportion of fat, middle aged men dressed as Sailor Moon hopping around the Wisconsin Holiday Inn Conference Hall.

I'm seeing it now. Um, it's okay I guess. Is that Cameron from Ferris Bueller?

I'm using safari and can't see it either.

Nah, but I assume most people are.

OH SHIT! I CANT BELIEVE YOU CALLED HARRY A RED X! YOU HAVE THE WIT OF SHERLOCK HOLMES AND OSCAR WILDE!

1. People with blogs/livejournals "Listening to: Linking Park- Num Saturday: Cameron was such an ass today cos he wouldnt go to the bon accord mall with stacy to by a new shirt and school is really sucking right now but its okey cos i have an unconditional to go to university to become and accountant anyway. OMG! Did anybody see that show about those kids from chernobal last night? It was so sad! If my kid was like that I'd have an abortion! I met Cameron and Stu outside one up and this guy asked us for money and stu was like "okay" and went into his pocket and gave the guy an empty whispa packit! I was like laughing so much! got the new green day cd. ive desided im going to try and be political now and give my old good charlotte cds to oxfam cos the suck now. BETTAR GO! OXOXOXOXOXOXOX!" I hate you. 2. Nightclubs More specificaly, nightclubbers. You're selfish, loud, obnoxious and violent. Thanks for making late night entertainment intolerable, doods! Hmmm, I'll do the other three later.

It's not banter. It's not even funny. I'm not saying that in a teachery "you could have someone's eye out way", I mean it's not impressive or amusing, well, unless you're a fucking moron, maybe.

Look, the answer to all your quirky pop needs is any XTC album released between 1978 and 1983. Truth.

Don't forget The Shaman!!!

Dude. Please.

If I wanted to read about clowns, I'd go to circus.com/asshats

The emo game is a great way to kill a few hours. It's obvious the creator liked the good stuff about "emo" and is upset about it's current state and is therefore cool enough to laugh at himself. And the Zelda and Metroid references in the first game gave me a stiffy. Oh, and EmoGame 2 has Robocop as a secret character!

Guys. The answer is Batman. It's his 21st.

But, on the contary, Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince never recorded a song about Robocop like the did about Freddy in the seminal "Nightmare on my Street."

Good question. Robocop sits in a massive chair innvocative of Maria's throne in Fritz Lang's Metropolis when he is not fighting crime, yet this could hardly be called sleep even if Robocop does tend to have flashbacks of important life events, like his wife kissing his eye or his son watching TV. It does beg the question, however, that even if Robocop DID sleep, would Freddy's claws be sharp enough to cut his metal body even in the Dream Realm? Would Freddy screw with Robocop some other way? Since Freddy's attacks usually result in some sort of physical harm, I'm uncertain Freddy has the ability to actually inflict this on Robocop...unless Freddy was able to convert himself into some kind of software, which he kind of did in "Freddy's Dead".

Who'd win out of Robocop and Freddy Krueger? When a winner is clearly decided, the winner will qualify onto a new round: Facts about Robocop: -Robocop is "Parte Hombre" (party hombre, in English) this means that he can part for 16 hours, sick a little bit and then party for another eight before running out of alchohol, at which point he goes home and cries. Why? Because there is no more party! So he make party! Because he is "Party Hombre". -Robocop is tolerant of all races and religions, except Scientologists which Robocop believe "are a bunch of arse" -Robocop's favorite holiday spot is Prague -Robocop has never played the lottery because he is convinced "gambling is a sin" Facts about Freddy: -Freddy believes fishing should be banned. "Can you imagine walking down the street and getting a hook through your cheek?" he asks, "No. I don't think it's humane at all." -Freddy played bass for an early incarnation of U2. "I was useless!" he laughs, "I didn't know my g-string from my boxers" -Freddy loves apple pies. "Ha ha! I love that bramley filling!" - Freddy is ambivelent about the war in Iraq. "I'm sure our government knows best," he says, grudgingly.

I'm sure they would, but whether or not they could ever forgive themselves afterwards is a more pertinent question.

Phone me to claim your prize! (There is no prize. But I like your style)