Flash@TMB

You can start at a low fitness level because everything we do is optional. If you get tired then you just sit out for a minute. It's probably better to start while unfit as we'll show you stuff that will get you fit really quickly. Just understand that these classes teach something that is inherently unpleasant, so you might need to force yourself to go for the first 8 weeks or so, after that you'll probably be more used to it. Even now there are times I find myself outside my personal comfort zone. Better to experience that in a training environment though...

Fighting is brutal, and it's easier to fight effectively if you are fit and lean. This provides an imperative to get fit and lose weight. This type of imperative is missing from most health and fitness regimes. Not everyone can hack it, there's a very high attrition rate. You need to become desensitized to violence, and used to being hit. That's not a pleasant learning curve! The upside is that after a while you become less fearful, and much more confident. We teach all the exercises necessary to support fighting skills, but attending a class a week isn't enough, you'd need to devote additional time to an exercise regime. It's not necessary to lift weights or go to a gym, in fact weight training is counter productive in my opinion. The only training equipment you really need is a hard flat piece of floor. The only skill you need to begin is a little will power.

Half a naga. Trust me.

Has to be regulars. Otherwise it'd be called Mr Random.

Fucking shat yourselves too hah hah All night long Teabags was like "Dan, please come down to the cellar with me to empty the bucket"

OK, Here are my ghost stories... sure I've posted these before but what the hell? The ghost turns off the gas cylinders at the valves. You're in the bar yourself, working through the day, no other staff, nobody has access to the gas. Suddenly the beer stops pouring so you go downstairs and there no CO2 pressure, you think this is weird because you only changed the cylinder the day before, so you check and sure enough it's turned off. If was clearly on earlier because the beer was pouring then. This also happens with the mixed gas, but not with the fizzy drinks machine. It also turns off the gas feeds to individual drinks. All of a sudden the Guinness or whatever will stop pouring and you go down and the keg is full, then you notice the gas pressure to the Guinness is down, and that the valve has been turned off at the cellar buoy. This can happen with pretty much any product, Pretty much all the full time staff (the ones who change kegs and cylinders) have experienced this at least once, and some of us have had it happen many times. It gets worse when there's building work going on. *** After the bar is shut, you can hear people walking about down in the cellar, this is very common. If you go down there you can hear people walking about upstairs. It's usual to hear the keg cellar door slam shut, a noise we're used to, but a bit creepy if all the bar tenders are upstairs... *** Glasses quite often jump off the shelves. I've seen this happen and it was like the glass was pushed/knocked off. *** Once the duty manager and myself were in cleaning up at around 2am. Nobody else was in the building. Back then the mop bucket used to live behind the bar. It's a sturdy little thing on wheels. I was up at the dance floor sweeping and Dougie was cleaning tables down near the door. We were both sober. There's this rumble rumble noise then a thump, then rumble rumble rumble, then the mop bucket appears at the bar hatch, then a thump and it rolls off the step onto the floor. Then it rumbles a couple of meters forward into the middle of the floor, a good 10 yards away from either of us, and then it tips over onto it's side which should be fucking impossible as it has 4 wheels. It was empty BTW. So this bucket had rolled forward 12 ", negotiated a perfect 90 degree right turn, rolled forward 3 feet, negotiated another perfect 90 degree to to bring in in line with the hatch, rolled neatly through the hatch barely wider than itself, down a step, another couple of meters then fallen onto it's side. *** One evening I was the only person in the bar and finishing up in the cellar. I was in the office which is roughly under table 4/table 5. It was around 2.30 am. Earlier in the week the police had been in with a missing persons form. This woman who was a regular customer of the bar had gone missing and nobody knew where she was. We had to call a number if we saw her. This woman had been drinking in the bar since the 70s. Anyway I started to get the chills, and feel a thumping in my head. Suddenly this little piece of paper fluttered down from the cellar roof and landed face up on my desk. It was a little B&W passport photo, and old photo of a woman. Now the chills really intensified and I broke out in massive goosebumps. My head was absolutely pounding and it felt like the pressure in the room had intensified. My focus as directed completely at this picture and I was feeling a rising sense of panic. I turned it over and on the back in said "Anne 1976". It was an old photo of the missing woman. I bolted up and out of the cellar, upstairs then out of the bar. I stood outside for 20 minutes to scared to go back in and lock up. Later on we discovered than Anne had died. I don't know the full circumstances. I've never seen the photo again, but later found a similar one, from the same set, in some old bar documents that I had at home. That was creepy shit. *** Once I came up from the cellar and a small knife flew past my head. It was a harmless bread knife. I just assumed that someone had hidden after closing and was playing a joke on me - there was nobody there. *** A few weeks back I went downstairs to get my jacket to leave, I heard Amy and Chris should goodnight but Teabags was still upstairs. I could hear him moving about. I did my end of day shit, got my jacket and headed back up. There was no sign of him so I thought he must have gone for a piss or a wank as I could hear noises from the gents. I waited for ages and eventually went into the toilets looking for him. Turned out that he'd left with Chris and Amy. BTW you are all cunts for leaving me alone in there

Paul just found this at work. Well it is Friday. Best headline ever: Wrestling midgets killed by fake hookers | Metro.co.uk

We got offered this gig a couple of weeks back. Got as far as trying to arrange dates, but think there was a clash. I like Chopper but would reject the gig based on the information about Anal Cunt though. Life is too short. Sounds like we had a near miss.

Take them back for a full refund.

Only if I have food poisoning.

Well done! Occult proverb say "understanding gleaned from foolish application of knowledge". Best bit of advice I ever got/took was "only believe that which you directly experience". The principle of self demonstrability. Now try and get your head round this: The single thing that defines God is the ability to manifest something from nothing. In other words the ability to will an act of material creation. If there is a God then God manifested everything. If we subtract everything we are left with nothing. Therefore by definition God is nothing (interestingly it is impossible to build a nothing detector). If God manifest everything then everything is by definition also God. In the Western Mystery Tradition (the basis of all three main Western religions) God is symbolically represented by three different digits a zero, a one, and a zero with a one through it. The 0 signifies nothing, the 1 signifies something and the 0 with the 1 through it signifies the manifestation of something from nothing (a bit like the big bang). Thus we have three versions of God which are all technically the same God: God the Unmanifest (nothing = 0) God the Manifestor (the act of creation itself = 0 with 1 through it) God the Manifest (everything = 1) The bible whose uses the metaphor of God the Father, God the Holy Ghost, and God the Son to explain this concept. Personally I prefer the more modern humorous version. WARNING - you need to be in the correct frame of reference to get this joke: A priest, a scientist and an occultist are walking through a field when they stumble upon an egg. The priest and the scientist start arguing over the existence of a chicken. The priest says "It's like this - if you lead a good and sin free life then when you die you get to see the chicken". The scientist says "That's absurd. There are no feather here, no chicken shit, no chicken tracks, and in fact no evidence whatsoever of any chicken." The occultists says "What do you think the fucking egg's made from?" *** Hint - the bottom line is that although to each other they appear diametrically opposed they are in fact are both correct, just arguing different sides of the same coin. The scientist is right in that God does not exist because God is technically made out of nothing, so there is no evidence of God. The priest is right in that God does exist because an act of material creation has taken place. The occultist points out that God is all around us, and that that we ourselves are evidence enough of God. Pretty much the same observation that Johnology just made in the post above Now how's THAT for a head fuck hah hah hah!

All the bands were good. It was a strong bill. I thought that San Toy were fantastic.

Karl can be difficult at times I pass on your regards. We teach a full fitness regime to support the training. The fitness regime can be done standalone, but there are benefits to doing both. The training encourages a desire to stay fit. The supporting stuff is a mixture of kinetic tension exercises, isometrics, calisthenics, and cardio. There's also some dietary advice. It's all based on the old physical culture stuff that predated weight training so there's no weights involved and the exercises are very good at healing knackered joints. Aside from my back injury I've had joint problems related to weight training such as blown rotator cuffs, tennis elbow AND golf elbow and have managed to rehabilitate all of these. I wish I'd known all this stuff 20 years ago! In addition to the classes there's some FOC informal sessions throughout the week, where a few of us get together. PM me if you'd like more details.

Starship was unforgivable. I've referred him for psychiatric evaluation. He wasn't even drinking cider.

OK tone lowered sufficiently for the biggie. We've been arguing about this in the bar for months, and not even wiki can provide an answer. Is female ejaculation real, or is it just wee? (and am I going to get banned for asking that?)

I think I can hazard a fairly accurate guess as to why they lick their balls though.

That's how I felt... I'd seriously inuured my upper back and neck in 2002 herniating discs and trapping nerves. I was 65 pounds over weight, and could barely climb a flight of stairs without getting knackered. And to top it all I was necking 150-200 units a week. But it's amazing how the human body can overcome injury if you give it an imperative. Here's some before and after shots: BEFORE AFTER

Nope nothing metaphysical about it. Light (is believed to) travel at a particular speed. It has a speed limit. For something to exist it must have either mass or energy. A speed limit sign on a road has mass for example. Where is the mass or energy of the law that says that light travels at this particular speed. These so called 'laws of the universe' possess neither mass no energy so in strict terms these laws do not exist. Yet clearly they still apply. So perhaps all that stuff about something have to possess either mass or energy in order to exist is nonsense. It's necessary to take the blinkers off in order to grasp this concept.

The Snake Temple Kings are back on the bill. Yee ha!

The Snake Temple Kings are back on the bill. Yay!

You didn't understand the question. Clearly you are a scientist.

Typical EE restaurant review: "Me and the wife went to the Royal Thai. For starters I had spring rolls [like every other week], and the wife ordered a prawn cocktail. The spring rolls were too hot and not greasy enough. The wife seemed to enjoy her prawn cocktail but found it a little spicy. For main course I ordered sweet and sour pork with boiled rice which was tasty but not as good as Liddels. The wife ordered Chicken Maryland which she found too spicy. The food was very expensive at 10 for 2 main courses, you can have an all day buffet for the entire family in The Mains of Scotstown for that! And the portions were very small, I was able to finish most of what was on the plate and the wife had to nip out for a fish supper afterwards. I was disappointed that there was no desert trolly as I had been looking forward to some black forrest gateu with jelly, We also found everything much to spicy. Overall 4/10."

So the animals that can't lick their own assholes, how do they keep their asses clean?

Science implies that for something to exist it must either possess mass, energy, or a combination of both. It also tells us that light travels at (hud on...) 670,616,629.4 mph. So my question is: where is the piece of mass, or quantum of energy that defines the speed of light. Or in simple terms where is that speed of light stored? *** How does crucifixion kill you? To me it seems that you'd die of thirst before anything else. I don't see how just hanging there for a few hours would be fatal. *** Why do some animals lick their balls assholes and not others? Or do they all do it. I've never seen a horse or a cow do it. *** Why are ear buds addictive more addictive than crack?

Actually that may not be the case, I think there are some crossed wires.