Flash@TMB

Actually that may not be the case.

I got told it by Craig, the police officer involved. I also saw the photo of Karl and Craig getting their commendations. Craig is a British Transport Policeman and based at Aberdeen station. There had been some disturbance I think either in, or around the Lorne Bar (but might have been Aitchies), and the Craig was the nearest policeman so he responded to the call. When he arrived on the scene he was met by this old guy (Karl was 60 at the time) who told him which way the guy had gone, and then said "I'll help you". Craig, thinking "yeah right" ran after the suspect, managed to tackle him to the ground and was struggling to cuff him. At this point four of the suspects buddies showed up and one of them aimed a kick at Craig's head. At this point Karl intervened. I think a couple of them ran off once Karl started, but he took out the other two. Craig had been so intent in struggling with the guy in the ground was oblivious to all this. He finished cuffing the original guy and stood up, then this voice behind him said "I've dealt with the rest of them", he turned round and there's the old guy standing over the two men he'd incapacitated. That might not be 100% accurate but you get the drift.

At least he's not from Newtonhill. Back in 1989 when I was working on the trolley's in Asda Bridge of Dee, a guy came into the store wearing a t-shirt that read "I can't help it - I'm from Newtonhill".

Hah - there's been a lot of rumours spread about Master Felber and he won a case of defamation over this a few years back. Here's the full story: Master Felber's experience started in the late 50s when his father sent him to boxing lessons. He boxed throughout the 60s and fought bare knuckle for money on a few occasions. He started training in karate when it first came to Aberdeen (I think in 1962), and gained his 1st dan in 1967 aged 20, about a year after Ronnie gained his black belt. From the late 60s to present he's devoted pretty much his entire life to studying martial arts, traveling to train intensively with the best instructors that he could find. I know that he trained in aikido and jujitsu during the 1970s and then aikijitsu and weapons during the 1980s. He developed Kafdo between 1980 (around the time he left tae kwon do) and 1984 when he registered it with the Okinawan Martial Arts Union (this is easily verifiable). It's a mixture of techniques from everything he's studied including boxing - hence the name (which I agree is misleading). Bear in mind that this was before MMA emerged, and at the time it was considered by many in the MA community to be heresy, hence much of the bad feeling. He's qualified to award dan grades in karate, aikijitsu, and trad weapons. I have a video of him cutting through a fence post with my L7 katana in one fell swoop. his sword work is amazing. There's also videos of him slicing a watermelon in half while it's balanced on someone's stomach, and I witnessed this live back in December. He was one of the founders of the World and British Martial Arts Federation but resigned in support of James Monclair. He has always graded outside of his own art, and he gifted me a full duplicate (not a copy) of his DAI-SHIHAN (Great Master) certificate of appointment. This was in Juko-Kai Kokuasi Renmai. It's signed (clearly in hand) by both Dr Rod Sacharnoski, soke and also Shian Toma, soke and President of the All Okinawan Seidokan Motobu-ryu Association. His registration number is 1195. The certificate is clearly genuine. I've spent a lot of time with Karl, and so I know about a lot of the history and politics. Personally, my take on it is that there's a lot of jealousy involved. I previously trained in Shotokan Karate at Scottish Shotokan centers (Ronnie) and before that when I was a youngster in Wado Ru. The instruction I received from Karl was superior in every way. Karl keeps a folder with all his grading certificates, plus letters, press clippings, and photos. I've seen both of his commendations from the police, in each instance there are photos of him receiving a medal, one of those was 2 years ago, and I've subsequently met and trained with the police officer that he rescued from 5 attackers! I've also seen letter of thanks from The Royal Marines for unarmed combat training courses that Karl ran for them, and I believe he is actually running a course for them at present, even though he's 62 years old. If you'd like to see his scrap book then I can probably arrange that... if you've got a couple of hours to spare MTA can also vouch for all this. Sorry for the lengthy reply, but although I no longer train in Kafdo I do feel that Karl's reputation is worth defending! Thanks for the kind words about SCS

I don't know. Laura could tell us though. It's not straightforward as for example you get one customer coming in and drinking 6 cases of Singha a month, so yes that's a good seller, but there may only be a couple of people drinking it, so it's not necessarily the most popular. There's also supply problems which fuck with the figures. As we're only stocking a case or two of most things there's always the danger of running out of a particular beer on the the first day. The order only comes once a month. So by the end of the month even the most unpopular beers are starting to sell as they are the only ones left! The fruit beers were very popular when they were in bottles, and they are now on draught and selling even more strongly, but it's hard to compare draught sales to bottle sales. The other thing is that we stock a lot of things that are very unpopular, but for which there is a niche market. I had one of the best drinking days of my life on St Bernard's Triple and it didn't even hurt the next morning, but it's hardly a popular beer. Overall the more beers we stock the more we sell in total.

From Larry Paterson's (Blaze's drummers) Tour Blog on MySpace: "On to Aberdeen and a nice long trip in the Balzemobile. We were playing the Moorings Bar, which was a superb venue, once again run by very cool people. We were actually spending the night in a band flat co-inhabited by sound man Dan a ten-foot tall bloke who was very nice to us as we invaded his homestead. This time the gig was a blinder, both from the audience and band point of view. We had crowd surfers, stage divers and all kinds of madness. Once woman had belted her head on the monitors when Decadenze were on and by the time we came on she had a bump like a rhinos horn on her head, but was ferociously headbanging away through the whole set. Really enjoyed it and we hung about and joined all manner of merriment afterward. Unfortunately Blaze was very under the weather. We had had a slightly dodgy curry dinner at 2am in Newcastle and compounded that by Burger King the next day.and fair to say that the King wreaked its revenge on Blaze who was as sick as a dog that night almost as soon as he came off stage. Nonetheless, a splendid time was had by those of us not assassinated by the King, and were all looking forward to going back to Aberdeen." So I reckon that EVERYONE, the crowd, the band, the staff, and the venue... can can all give ourselves a big pat on the back.

From Larry Paterson's (Blaze's drummers) Tour Blog on MySpace: "On to Aberdeen and a nice long trip in the Balzemobile. We were playing the Moorings Bar, which was a superb venue, once again run by very cool people. We were actually spending the night in a band flat co-inhabited by sound man Dan a ten-foot tall bloke who was very nice to us as we invaded his homestead. This time the gig was a blinder, both from the audience and band point of view. We had crowd surfers, stage divers and all kinds of madness. Once woman had belted her head on the monitors when Decadenze were on and by the time we came on she had a bump like a rhinos horn on her head, but was ferociously headbanging away through the whole set. Really enjoyed it and we hung about and joined all manner of merriment afterward. Unfortunately Blaze was very under the weather. We had had a slightly dodgy curry dinner at 2am in Newcastle and compounded that by Burger King the next day.and fair to say that the King wreaked its revenge on Blaze who was as sick as a dog that night almost as soon as he came off stage. Nonetheless, a splendid time was had by those of us not assassinated by the King, and were all looking forward to going back to Aberdeen." So I reckon that EVERYONE, the crowd, the band, the staff, and the venue... can can all give ourselves a big pat on the back.

If I catch you in the bar before you are 18 then I'll ban you until you are 19 and so forth.

Hi there, I hold a 1st dan in Kafdo Karate and also a first dan in Aiki Jitsu. Also took lessons in a form of dirty boxing for 2 years. John is a 4th dan master in both of those and has studied numerous other forms of martial art. He's also got a dan grade in several weapons. From around March 2008 we began testing everything we had learned on each other full contact/force as fully resisting opponents, wearing street clothes including shoes and with no protective equipment other than gum shields. Along the way I had a few visits to the dentist The results were interesting and in some cases unexpected... and from this experience we developed Street Combat System, and started teaching classes at the beginning of the year. The beginners class utilises teaching methods not commonly employed by traditional martial arts, and follows a reiterative 8 week syllabus. We anticipate the average student becoming proficient within 6 months to a year, depending on how frequently they train. Having no previous experience is a distinct advantage. Thus far it has become apparent that girls are more likely to stick with the course than boys, and although women only make up perhaps 10% of new students the class now consists ~50% of women! The first 6 weeks of training are free, after that it's 5 per lesson. Adult classes are at St Margaret's Church Hall in the Gallowgate on Thursday's at 1930-2200. We don't operate a belt system, and you just wear trackies and trainers. You can start at any time, but week one of the syllabus rolls around again on Thursday 25th of June. In terms of your goals... well in the 3 years I've been training (albeit frequently and obsessively) I've lost over 50lbs in weight and gained the ability to perform 15 handstand pushups so it has the potential to make a person fit and strong. I used the training in a few minor incidents, and witnessed John use it on several occasions too... but we won't mention that time with the dude with the wooden leg *** If you're looking for something more traditional then I'd recommend Kafdo Karate Aikido Jitsu, which runs in the same location on Tuesday evenings, although John and myself are no longer connected with that. Flash

Oh my God this is the worst thread in living memory.

Here are some tips on hangover avoidance: 1) Take a permanent black marker and in large letters write "NO" on the back of your left hand. 2) Eat a large greasy deep pan pizza before starting to drink. Seasoned alcoholics may wish to skip this step (and eating altogether) in order to economise. 3) Drink high quality hand crafted booze if possible as generally this contains fewer chemical additives and those make hangovers worse. 4) Avoid darker coloured spirits. 5) Don't mix your drinks. Choose one thing a stick with it. Having said that if you choose the wrong thing then you will get an INCREDIBLY bad hangover. 6) Drink some water throughout the evening to keep you hydrated. When you hit the zone water will appear to have much the same effect as alcohol. 7) Count your units a best as possible. Thirty units of alcohol is enough to kill 50% of the people that drink it. For most people 10-15 units is more than enough, venturing beyond that sees diminishing returns of pleasure and increasing risks. 8) If you've had too much then throw up and stop drinking. To throw up simply force your own (or better still someone else's) fingers (or other body part) down your throat. It may also be possible to earn money doing this. 9) After you've thrown up eat another pizza. 10) If all else fails take a nice long shit. That usually sorts people out. Better still find a toilet and have a luxury shit. Do not under any circumstances shit in any car other than a taxi. If you're finding it difficult to throw up, and have no money for a pizza then technically it should be possible to kill 3 birds with one stone. 11) If you become paralysed and have lost the use of your legs then you may have fallen asleep on a toilet. If you need to puke than the toilet will be located behind you. If you are in The Moorings then be sure only to shit/puke in the toilet. 12) Carry a photo of your mother/father with you. If you are an orphan then carry the following photo: If the photo looks attractive to you then don't shag anyone. If you are really desperate then masturbate over the photo. Don't masturbate in any car, this include taxis. Police cars are exempt from this rule. 13) Carry the address of someone that lives within 1/4 of a mile of your house. Give this to the taxi driver. Never give the taxi driver your actual address otherwise you'll have to pay for the taxi. 14) Taxi drivers tend to gripe about everything. If the driver is not griping then you are not in a taxi. This may mean that you are being abducted. If you suspect this is the case then puke or shit but do not masturbate in the car... unless the driver asks you where you are going on holiday, under those circumstances it means that you have trapped a hairdresser, and it may be safe to masturbate after all. 15) Never attempt to get home by supply boat, no matter what reassurances are offered by the crew of the supply boat. 16) If anyone stops you in the street and offers you business then recite the following lines until they leave you alone: "I don't want to motherfucking head from no goddamn living dead". Refer to photo again just in case. If still in doubt refer to the back of your left hand. 17) If you fucked the hooker anyway then now may be a good time to cut your own dick off - before you regain your senses and the ability to feel pain/shame/guilt/self loathing etc. You can probably accomplish this by slamming it in the taxi door, just before the taxi drives off. Don't worry, because you are very hydrated the blood will clot quickly so you probably won't bleed to death. 18) If there are strange people in your house then you are in the wrong house. Remember your house will be located 400 yards from where the taxi dropped you off. 19) The hooker will have stolen your housekeys so it will be necessary to break a downstairs window to gain entry. Do not attempt to climb the drainpipe. If there are strange people in your house then it will be the hooker and her pimp making off with your valuables. 20) Do not attempt to cook anything at home, especially if you have a gas cooker. Just go to bed. Do not call your ex-girlfriend and tell her how much you love her. Now is not a good time to drop acid.

The reason that doesn't cause a hangover is cos they've taken a 'g' out of it. The 'g' was clearly to blame, and this has only half the 'g' content. Now I've seen in the trade press recently that they're about to launch a new product called "iner ale" which not only doesn't cause hangovers, but will actually cure an existing hangover at any stage. The only problem is that they've been struggling to get it to market due to the fact that it's mildly toxic to people with red hair, and there have been some objections made by the liberal democrats about that in parliament.

I never usually let mine out of my sight, mostly park on the pavement in front of the window wherever I am. If I see a warden then I drive off before they can do anything. On the occasion that it must be stowed out of eyeshot for a while I leave go somewhere very quiet and off the beaten track with lots of nooks and crannies and take my chances.

Here's an off the wall suggestion but it does have some merit. Over the umm 6 years I've been visiting here there's been a fair few people banned. A lot of them were dicks, but some of them were also interesting in a weird way. Although the site is a nicer place without them, it's also a poorer place without them. So here is my suggestion (and I'm 100% serious abut this). Have a Trolls forum. Instead of banning someone make it so that they can only post in the trolls forum. Make it so that the trolls forum is only visible to members and not the general public/google. That way if anyone wants to go in and bait the trolls that's their decision. Think about it: Testing Forum This forum is for testing out and playing with the features of the forums. Please note that the contents of this forum is routinely deleted. The Lounge This forum is open to all supporters, sponsors and staff only. So please, stop by, kick back and relax... The Troll Cave Enter at your own risk! *** I think it has a nice ring to it. It would certainly be a lively forum being mainly populated by psychopaths (sorry I meant unfortunate people with ASPDs) and the odd person seeking a cheap thrill. Fuck it I'll post a poll with this thread

I'm guessing that it will be possible to buy a ticket in advance right up until the day of the gig (but you never know). I'm also guessing that there will be scope to pay at the door on the day of the gig. However I'm pretty certain that not everyone who wants to go will be able to pay on the door. Hope that makes some sort of sense.

Actually I thought you were quite witty on this thread, don't see what all the fuss is about.

The mainstream big buisness Yank brews are not great, but the US actually has a huge number of amazingly good micro breweries, so don't write them off. If you haven't already tried it then I recommend the Brooklyn Lager that we sell, it's the polar opposite of your usual bland watery Budweiser type fizz. Loads of flavour and a much darker colour.

It will be good to have a venue of that cap. in town. This is something that has been sorely missed since Drakes closed.

Mark got me some naga seeds...

Would you prefer your P45 now or will just duct tape it to your forehead the next time you drink yourself unconscious??

*AHEM* Should add... just because I've rushed to the defense of the Bassment, this does not mean that I've changed my personal opinion on the nature of people that frequent that place on a regular basis. Neither can I condone drinking there. Oh no no no...

According to the law (both now and after September) : It is an offense for the licensee / responsible person to be drunk on the premises at any time. It is an offense for any member of staff to be drunk on the premises at any time. It is an offense to sell alcohol to a drunk person. The grey area being the interpretation of drunk. If drunk was taken to mean someone who had ingested any alcohol whatsoever then it would be impossible to operate a bar. Therefore the usual interpretation of 'drunk' is someone who is intoxicated to the point where they are unsteady on their feet, or slurring their speech, or rolling their eyes, etc. One of the first things we teach bar staff is, whenever is doubt, ask the customer to repeat the order. A drunk can hold it together long enough to say "a pint of lager please" - once. Ask them to repeat this and they'll come out with something like "a pinsh of loggers", then fart. If a bar served someone who is drunk then there is a danger that the person could die if they were served more booze. This may either be through alcohol poisoning, choking on their own vomit, falling and hitting their head, stepping/falling in front of a car, or something else along those lines. That's why it is an offense to serve them. Here in Scotland many people take a much more liberal view on what constitutes drunk. One of our ex-barmen honestly believed that it meant the person was unable to stand... The laws regarding license holder / responsible person, and staff are most likely there to avoid loopholes. For example the license holder or responsible person may not actually work there i.e. Mark is the responsible person (key holder) on Sunday evenings but he is not a direct employee of The Moorings. The "at any time part" is there to incorporate times when the person is off duty, or the bar is shut. The laws are sensible; it is very hard to deal with a drunk staff when they become argumentative, We've had off duty bar staff get bleezing, fall out with us because we refuse to serve them any more, quit, then come back the next day looking sheepish. It's worse when this happens with a drunk boss or manager as they may go around firing/banning people. Puts everyone in an awkward position. Another set of problems apply to an off duty door steward. Some bars interpret the legislation to permit drinking whilst on duty. This is very risky, a bit like drink driving. Judgement is impaired, and if anything goes wrong... oh dear. One of the (many) reasons that I curtailed my own drinking was that people, both customers and staff, would take advantage of my state to cause trouble, knowing that I was on shaky ground. And also because occasionally I would go off on one, and be the one coming in next day looking sheepish because I'd fired everyone Whatever the law says, a business is perfectly entitled to exceed those rules. The management or owners of a bar may decide for whatever reason not to admit staff except when they are on duty, or to admit them but refuse to serve them alcohol. If someone works in a bar, in any capacity, then they are a representative of that business and should conduct themselves with a certain level of decorum, otherwise the business may feel it is necessary to remove certain privileges. Anther common problem with bar staff, especially in bigger chains where there are lots of staff and a high staff turnover, is that they may supply drinks to each other free of charge. When I worked in the Wimpy Bar* back in 1986 [yes to paraphrase George Jung (Johnny Depp) in "Blow" - if you or any of your friends bought a burger back in the mid 1980s, chances are it was me that served you] we used to do the same thing, and for years afterwards I never paid for a meal. Of course this was A) against the rules, and B) technically stealing. It would have been sensible for the Wimpy Bar to ban all current and ex-staff members from eating there! A section of the licensing law makes after hours drinks for bar staff a very grey area (well verging on black to be honest). It's almost certainly illegal for bar staff to have a drink after the bar shuts. But this being Scotland people claim all sorts of loopholes are valid, such as "it's OK if the doors are shut" and "it's OK because we paid for the drinks before last orders". So far the police tend to turn a blind eye, but that won't last forever. From a personal perspective, The Moorings offers many privileges to it's staff, but every time someone takes a liberty, we clamp down and remove one or more of those privileges, I'm guessing that the same thing is probably taking place and the Bassment and Moshulu. The particular details are their business, but I'd guess there is a good reason for this course of action. *now Burger King

La Chouffe possibly has the gayest website ever: La chouffe - Home And for some reason it features Stu... EDIT: OH MY GOD La chouffe - Espace des fans

At last the Bacchus Kriek (cherry), Framboise (raspberry), and *DANGER* La Chouffe *DANGER* are now avialable on draught. As is customary these will be served in their own glassware which equates to 1/2 pints, and regulr 1/2 pint glasses on busy nights when they are more likely to get smashed or nicked. We must be mad getting La Chouffe on draught...

Why did you go there, it's nowhere near the harbour?