If you've ever performed badly...

[Shaki]

this new wave of bullshit ads are really starting to annoy me. they all share this bullshit form of marketing that employs all of these tools to act out a bunch of stunts, then tries to pretend to us that they're real and just a typical example of the wonders of social networking...made easier of course by your NEW VODAFONE MYSPACE PHONE WITH TWITTER INTERNET IPHONE BLOG FLASH MOB APPS. It's just yet another astoundingly phoney attempt to tap into 'yoof' culture, as Sony failed once in the past to do (if I remember correctly, they paid all of these graffiti artists to 'bomb' local spots with sony-sponsored artwork...nobody bought it, the artists lost their credability and hopefully someone got arrested).

Another candidate for television-smashing rage is that horrible one about the guy who 'texted all of my mates to get a band together', resulting in him apparently enlisting a 40-strong ensemble of wacky, good looking young people with Vodafone mobile contracts to play a shitty song on an open-topped bus. "I used my myspace page to get everyone together" he dribbles..."I'm just announcing a tour on Twitter". Well, let me know when you're going to be in aberdeen so that I can slash your fucking tour bus' tyres, you fluffy-headed twat.

Sounds horrible. I hate young people. I stopped watching TV and feel a lot better.

I like Michael McIntyre although I've never seen him doing anything other than stand up.

[Soda Jerk]

You could just not watch adverts if they make your piss boil that bad. Flick to the music channels and oggle Beyonce or something. I usually change over tot Sky Sports News, hoping to catch a glimpse of Phil Thompson or Chris Kamara going absolutely tits.

[Guest Gladstone]

Was anyone at the Snafu Comedy Club a few months ago when the ventriloquist bombed...?

I felt sorry for him, I really did.

[Lonz]

I usually change over tot Sky Sports News, hoping to catch a glimpse of Phil Thompson or Chris Kamara going absolutely tits.

I'm usually looking for a glimpse of Millie or Georgie myself. Sky Sports News Presenters • TV Newsroom

Although if Jim White's on I usually try and out-shout him for a while.

[Sturtpot]

You could just not watch adverts if they make your piss boil that bad. Flick to the music channels and oggle Beyonce or something. I usually change over tot Sky Sports News, hoping to catch a glimpse of Phil Thompson or Chris Kamara going absolutely tits.

That's fine and good in an ideal world, but whenever I change to the music channels to escape the drivel in between shows, I'm presented by more adverts trying to sell me shit I don't want or need. It's a catch 22 situation....

[Guest Gladstone]

That's fine and good in an ideal world, but whenever I change to the music channels to escape the drivel in between shows, I'm presented by more adverts trying to sell me shit I don't want or need. It's a catch 22 situation....

The music channels seem to all go to adverts at the same time as well, which is annoying. I'm sitting watching Smash Hits - the new Sugababes song ends and it goes to an advert, so I flick to MTV Hits and it's on fucking adverts too. So I pretend I'm in America and dial 911...

[Lemonade]

He really takes the wrong approach when the crowd to turn on him.

"We ain't booin' tonight OK, we ain't booing. I know it's late and ya'll are tired, but I am funny, OK? I tried these jokes last night and they worked".

FAIL.