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Guest onlynik

How not to pull a sickie

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Oh lordy!

Whatever happened to 'I've got a cold', you wont see me for a week.

Uncontrollable shits or sore bollocks do best for me. Nobody wants to ask for the gory details! :D

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Uncontrollable shits or sore bollocks do best for me. Nobody wants to ask for the gory details! :D

I certainly wouldn't.

Dunno if anyone gets trapped nerves? but I phoned in sick one day saying I couldn't move the left side of my body, as a generalisation of my condition at the time, I went in the next day and everyone thought I had made a miraculous recovery after the person I phoned said to the office I was disabled !!

LoL. 8-)

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Guest Neutral

I once decided to tell people at the office i couldnt take it no more and implied that i was going to top myself and shit

then i took the next 2 days off without a word :up:

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Guest spikefae20dj

I can't believe that someone was that stupid

By the way family problems are always a good one to get off work

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Guest Neutral
I can't believe that someone was that stupid

By the way family problems are always a good one to get off work

I told someone that Roger jumped off union bridge and that i had to go to his funeral:up:

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It's all about preparation, the day before start sniffing or complaining about feeling a bit shit, then call in the next day with no problems. Alternatively the old 'I'd better have a day in bed so it doesn't get any worse and I don't have to be off longer than nessesary' thing works well.

Of course 'female problems' are failsafe too.

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well obviously. But I'm not so it's fine. Sets feminism back a few decades but all you've got to do is rub your stomach a bit and grimace and you can get time off like that >snaps fingers<

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How's this for fucking stupid:

I used to work with a guy a few years ago who was always taking sickies. At one point, he took 2 weeks holiday in Romania, and upon his return, was laid low with some bizarre illness for a further couple of weeks.

smelling a rat, a couple of my workmates decided to check his computer out to see what he'd been surfing.....turns out that he had looked up the illness on the web before he even left for Romania.

As an aside, the same bloke was convicted for downloading child porn a couple of years back.

Complete knob jockey.

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A girl I used to work with at the Holiday Inn got her marching orders in style. We got a call from Holiday Inn Dublin one day saying she had just turned up there and asked if she could have a room that night at staff rates, so of course they phoned us to check if she was telling the truth. Thing is she was meant to be working that night in Aberdeen. A few hours before her shift started we got the call "I can't come into work I'm sick". The manager just said "No you're not, you're in Dublin". Stupid bitch!

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^ Amazing!

I always laugh at the classic 'can I have time off?' 'No.' *phone in sick for that shift* *get utterly bollocked* that some of my friends were fans of back when I worked in Asda.

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Guest Craig C

A guy who used I used to work with (he got the sack eventually) once phoned in sick. It was the assistant manager who was in charge that day because the manager was on his day off. Later that day, the boss walked into TGI Fridays at the beach for lunch - and spotted the guy who phoned in, having his lunch with a mate. My boss wondered if this guy was on his day off too (unaware that he had phoned in sick) so decided to call the assistant manager to make sure. Obviously afterwards, knowing that this guy had phoned in sick, he walked over to him and said "Alright, how's it going?"

Now panicking, the guy plays along "Yeah I'm not bad like". After the meal, he runs all the way to work, goes up to the assistant manager and says to him "Yeah, you know how I phoned in sick earlier, well - that's not true. The fact is, my friend has been in a big car accident and I've been at his hosptial bed side all day, I'm sorry for lying to you"

Now, we can only assume that the reason he ran back to work, was to try and cover his tracks with the assistant manager - not knowing that the boss had already phoned up and informed the assistant manager that he'd spotted the guy having lunch.

So after telling yet another lie, the assistant manager reponds with "Oh I am sorry to hear that - by the way, how was the meal?"

At which point, the guy looked down to the floor, let out a long sigh and said:

"Sorry min"

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