berti

i actually heard one of the funniest put downs ever spoken about that whale. someone said she had lost x amount of weight and the retort was ' yeah but in fairness, thats like throwing a deck chair off the titanic' it was years ago when she was at the peak of her sea dwelling creature weights but it still rings true today sir, yes it does....

can i possibly suggest hitting a pensioner on the way home so that you start a car chase of your very own? it might provide some inspiration. yes you might end up getting a little tsk tsk from the fuzz but i think in the long run its a sacrifice worth making for the movie and the car chase would benefit. It will definately 'out-epic' its already substantial epic level.....

yes i dare say your christmas present will be fecal matter on your doorhandle. although i was watching my neighbour earlier hoping he got stuck, he is a massive cockfondler though so i believe im well within my right.....

i know, i purposely stopped at that point on my earlier post due to his request for artistic breathing space, i merely offered a couple of ideas. personally i think there should be some high speed reversing up a narrow alley, with trashcans being tossed around like ragdolls in the process

doors on chains.....motherfucker if i wanted to shut the door i would shut it, i like the decision to be mine. i dont like feeling like i have a time limit to run in the room and grab whatever shit it is i seek and get out before the door slams in my face. i caught myself shouting 'cunting door' the other day while slapping it like a vegetarian, not my proudest moment i have to confess i thought this issue would cease to exist outside of uni halls but it seems every fucker has got in on the act. anyone else get their tits well and truly bugged with this shit?

he is a little cocknose, but i would have him in the starting 11 all day long when you compare what utter shite we have in comparison

i dont see why they bothered appealing in the first place, surely an appeal is there if there has been a massive balls up by the ref or if he hasnt seen something properly. as far as i remember, he was pretty close to the incident so if he judges an arm in the puss, it is an arm in the puss and forever it shall be!

after finishing the conversation with the chief, Cannon picks up a glass and his bottle of whiskey, then, in a potent statement, hurls the glass across the room and takes a man sized gulp of the sauce.....he will then storm out of the apartment after thrusting his pistol into his back pocket. outside he stops dead as he looks down the street....the gold toothed dog assassin is about 50feet down with sunglasses on and just lighting a cigarette as he looks straight at Cannon. He will then do a slow motion sunglasses removal and smile smugly at Cannon before getting in the car and driving off...... Cannon then screams something gloriously cliched, im thinking 'oh heeelllll no' before jumping in his car and taking off in pursuit towards chinatown perhaps... As cannon pulls away, his tail from earlier turns the corner with two of the offices from his own department. They will undoubtably be discussing one of their problems with their 'old lady' with mundane chat before one of them spots Cannon leaping into his car and speeding off, cue a unison chorus of 'MOTHERFUCKER!" They then set off to chase Cannon and herein begins the greatest cliche ridden car chase of all time......incidentally, i think the tail should lose chase about half way through the total chase, possibly while igor and Cannon manage to squeeze around a reversing garbage truck before it just closes the gap too much for the cop car to get through, cue slamming of palms on steering wheel and 'Goddamit!"

haha, ' you have strong looking thighs for a white man' we have to double our efforts to incorporate such classic lines as this

i like the fact that in that clip , his 'cannon' is against regulations, pretty apt for this dont you think

scene 2: back at the station, cannon is in the yet to be determined chief's office. wet, and slouched on the chair opposite the desk. Chief comes in and slams the door, shouting CANNON! as the door slams...'Get your soggy ass up off that chair, have you ANY IDEA how much bullshit i just had to sell the major and his office because of that crazy shit you just pulled!" Cannon goes all thin lipped and retorts venomously ' I was just trying to do my job....SIR" Chief:'Your job! Your job is to obey orders from your superiors, ie. ME! you cant just commandeer a tank and go off on some vigilante shit! We gotta work by the book Cannon!" Cannon: "fuck the book *slams hand on desk* ' we cant just sit around with our thumb up our ass, someone's lift is at stake here!" Chief puckers up his lips and leans his arm against the window while shaking his head... 'Cannon, im getting too old for this shit.......i cant have you risking the force and especially MY reputation, give me your badge and weapon, your suspended......*pause* pending investigation' Cannon will at that point either mirror the puckered up aggression shown by the chief or pull one of these.... before slamming his badge and gun onto the desk.....obviously this needs some padding up but its a work in progress...and im my opinion, on the way to a slice of fried gold....

i feel we may be going away from the cliche laden deliciousness of the first two installments and may lose some of the core audience with the third.....

upon being called into glover's office he will undoubtedly be told that he is 'out of line' or as previously mentioned, 'out of your jurisdiction', cannon will then precede to offer a 'caaarrazzzaayyyy' method of solving the problem at hand, only for glover to look at him incredulously and tell him 'you're out of your mind' cue cannon storming off giving the impression he will do it anyway with glover following him to the doorway and shouting CANNON! YOU CRAZY SON OF A BITCH! down the corridor after him. scene.

im proud that this thread has taken up to around 60 posts to go off at a tangent. and what an epically awesome tangent it is......this could possibly be the greatest cop movie that is never made, tragic really oh and, there will unequivocally have to be a car chase which involves a)lawrence hanging out of the car whilst shooting (possibly steering with his penis because he is so awesome and only he can do this) b)a large jump of some sort which involves everyone going in a slow motion time warp and shouting wwwwooooaaaahhhhhhh c)complete distruction of a shop front/market stall/fruit cart racking brain for any more cliches for that scene but struggling at the moment...

just went to youtube and queried attack attack! currently mopping up the poo from my couch after i shat myself laughing....totally worth it though

there will of course be multiple counts of 'oh heeelllll no' and 'ddaayyymmmm' at every perceivable opportunity. another possible ending line will be glover calling lawrence a 'son of a bitch' whilst smiling wistfully and reminiscing about his own 'loose cannon' days.

there are many bands i want to rant unholy shite about but at the moment it seems whenever i turn on the radio in the car im greeted by 'wake up in the morning feeling like p diddy' , by christ that song makes my shit bubble....what the fuck does it even mean, you wake up feeling like a overated ass clown who speaks in slow motion, oh yeah and he is a FUCKING BLOKE. i dont even know who does the song and its probably better that way otherwise i would feel compelled to hunt her down and put her dog in the tumble dryer whilst shaving her hamster and stuffing it up her arse oh yeah, and 50 cent.....what a prick.......

yep, its on the sky news website and also the sun, still developing story but seems its true. she looks ill in all the recent pictures of her so probably eating disorder or a nice big pile of crack.....

it is , iam very proud, just like a parent whos child does not take up 'art' at uni.....

is that supposed to be a comedy? i thought it was just a piece of airless tat to allow people to grab a beer/take a shit between match of the day and the football league show....

hah, i love urban dictionary; 2. Dried period juice chunks that are queefed out of a vagina like a grenade launcher

i also have a penchant for cuntnugget, i think it is glorious

and then blast all over her sadflaps

are we to rearrange those words to form a past time i can only wish i took part in

i love to use the word bollocks whenever i can, its awesome. and constantinople......not exactly an everyday conversation but whenever one of the very limited opportunites to use it comes around i am RIGHT in there so what word does everyone love to say to the point of excess.... that is all.