Murrr

JOINED. If I actually focus on it this year, you guys are all dead.

Riffs. YAS. I'm not sure if I've posted this here before, but it's fucking ridiculous. They're just throwing riffs around with no regard for health and safety. Seriously: someone's gonna lose an eye here. Fuckin' song has about 76 different riffs, and they're all SMACKING.

Pittodrie was absolutely brilliant last night. I dinna really mind the vuvuzelas (as long as there's not one being blown directly into my ear the whole game), though I did struggle to even have a shouted conversation with my mate at times. Fit a din, min. I thought that Aberdeen were fantastic barring the obvious glitches. Logan was having a 10/10 performance until he was cut to pieces by the opposing player for the penalty, and then the clumsy challenge. Him, Anderson and a few others were clearly absolutely banjo'd at that point, which is understandable: they'd spent the entire game pushing a team of great quality to the absolute limit. I had a totally irrational "WE CAN DO THIS!" moment after we went 2-1 up, though pushing harder than we did we a third goal would have likely killed us. We've done ourselves proud though, and I look forward to Sunday, though I've heard that Anderson and Hayes are suspended? Get Ash Taylor up front again and we'll definitely win.

Agreed. I reckon we'll probably take a bit of a clattering, but at least we'll get a bit of drama if we score first. It'll be absolutely soul-destroying if they score first and just cruise through the game again.

Bit of chat on Twitter about Falcao going to Liverpool? I swear to God, that had better be nonsense...

WRONG AGAIN. Real talk though: there's actually been murmurs of Pardiola attempting a 5-3-2 system with us this year, as the strikers we've bought aren't suited to playing up-top on their own. It makes literally no sense for us. We have three natural wing-backs in the squad (Haidara, Santon and Janmaat), but can you imagine the lolocaust that a back-three including Williamson AND Taylor would be?! I'd put Coloccini on suicide watch, having the play with those two dipshits. I hope it's just a rumour, but he's done weirder things, like playing Shola on the wing and giving PAUL DUMMETT minutes in the Premier League.

Do United's centre-backs really have the qualities required to pull it off? I'm asking as I've no real idea what "type" of CBs Jones, Smalling, etc. are. Jones strikes as the kind of guy who'd be an absolute disaster in such a system.

A common problem for males with four-letter names that begin with "A," apparently. I get "Alan" all the time, and I'm willing to bet that Alan gets "Adam." What a circle.

Under a different regime, I'd be feeling pretty optimistic about Newcastle's season. The new DOF, Lee Charnley, has come in and done a solid job transfer-wise. Janmaat is a very adequate replacement for Debuchy. We've addressed our striker shortage with Riviere and Ferreyra, although another would be nice. I've heard De Jong described as "a rich man's Kevin Nolan," which will do nicely, and Cabella looks like one hell of a player. Young lads like Rolando Aarons and Ayoze Perez have done well in pre-season: hopefully the club will allow them to kick-on this season, rather than going down the Haris Vuckic/Shane Ferguson route and rotting at Rotherham or wherever. Ideal scenario: we lose our first five games in a row, bring in a more thoughtful manager, bring Hatem Ben Arfa out of exile and finish comfortably in mid-table. I know that the reality is going to involve another year of Pardew, Jack Colback in the first XI, and Paul Dummett, though.

Dat sludge.

I'm not going to look at any pictures/video, but several people have described the incident as "literally the worst thing I've ever seen" today. Very sad stuff. Hopefully it was a clean enough break and he'll be able to recover, because he's a good player and seems like a nice bloke.

Dons game. Hook me up.

Blackpool's squad at the moment:- Might want to think about signing a few players, lads.

Maccabi Haifa vs. Lille.

Bojan Krkic has signed for Stoke. Not quite a Freddy Adu-esque fall from Football Manager grace, but bloody hell. Fair play to Hughes for trying to move them away from 6ft monstrosities though. I thought he'd be an absolutely honking appointment -- wrong.

Screenshot or GTFO.

Kanye, on his worst day, is an absolutely fucking atrocious lyricist. See his last album: one of the worst lyrical performances in mainstream hip-hop that I can remember. Worse, even, than some of the worthless tripe that Lil' Wayne produces these days. One of the verses on New Slaves is very strong, but other than that? Really terrible album, lyrically. I am a fan of this, though. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is actually one of my favourite albums. There are a few naff lyrical moments, definitely, but I think he does an excellent job of capturing genuine emotion on that album. His production skills have never been in-doubt, though I can't say I'm found of any of the beats on Yeeuz either. Anyway, to keep with the thread's theme, I'd post a link to the absolute worst Kanye West song (I Am A God -- which absolutely belongs here), but I can't because my work computer is naff.

NEW SLEEP SONG. HOLY MOTHER OF SHIT.

Soda Jerk is the only Man United supporter I actually like, and that was a mega-post. DOUBLE REP.

Liverpool are total gimpshits for not signing at least two new defenders. They won't finish near the top four if they don't address that gaping hole, imo. I think Markovic and Emre Can are being underestimated though: a lot of European football "experts" reckon that Markovic is one of the top 2-3 prospects in Europe, and the European Football Show (BT Sport) panel was bigging-up Emre Can a few weeks ago. Chelsea City Arsenal United Liverpool