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Annoying, food/clothes stealing flatmate being away on holiday for 10 days. Glorious!

Bahahaha

Get it told.

I'm clearly a bit simple, that one set me off as well.....................more shit/funny jokes please!

I'm actually tempted to just give him a penny to see what he says/does. In fact, thats exactly what I'm going to do. Bet I never see the fucker again now.

He gets braver and braver as the days go by..............

Do you even get penny chews these days? If he managed to collect ten pennies he could buy a mix up

He is SUCH a pain in the arse. I got him two days in a row last week. I like how after he asks about places to get food, he asks for 'a penny' to help him out. What the fuck are you going to do with one penny you moron? Eat it?

Actually pissing myself laughing at my desk. This joke is shite, yet hilarious!

Ah yes. Don't forget Cousin Guilty.

OH MY GOD. This is terrifying.

Junkie minks. Went to get a chinese takeway last night, opened the shop door to almost stand on a can of Tennents Super in the middle of the floor. Junkie couple are standing at the counter, separating a humongous pile of 10 and 20p's into pound piles (counting out loud in that horrible nasal junkie voice). Great, I'm fucking starving, and these arseholes are paying for a bag of chips with smush. This goes on for ages, so I take a seat until the fuckers are finished, to notice blood running down the girl's leg from a suspicious tiny dot. Nice. EVENTUALLY they finish counting their change, only to fuck off out of the shop with their can of Super and a wad of notes. I'm wasting away from hunger, and these cunts are changing their coins into notes!! There's a bank about 20 seconds down the road you dicks!! Dealers clearly don't like exchanging smack for pocket shrapnel.

I think they're all called 'A'. At a get-together, they're 'The'. Simple names for a simple family

Heeeeey, I'm not being THAT creepy, am I? (again, sorry John )

Hahaha, only if I mention it. I can't decide what would be more amusing, that, or carrying on with the mystery.......... (I'm a bit of a sad bastard, aren't I?)

Well if you insist.................

I'm going to have to decline, I'm afraid, as it would mean you'd figure out who I actually am, and I wouldn't be able to fry your brain with my posts on this thread whenever I see you

Bahaha. Teabags, you are hilarious. (sorry John).

Good plan. Maybe a few days of 4am phonecalls telling him to stop joining every bastarding Facebook group going will do the trick............

Wow, I forgot all about the Flare & Firkin! Had some cracking nights in there as an underager. And I agree, the Wild Boar was much better back in the green sofa days. Went for food there a month or so ago and it was horrendous. And the atmosphere was shite. Bah.

Same here. Someone on my friends list just joined about 15 of these groups, the most recent being 'I sleep with my mobile next to me'. WHO GIVES A FUCK?! And don't get me started on Farmville/Mafia Wars/Garden World, etc...............

Oh god, I second this. Best pizza in aberdeen, bar none.

If its in the interest of the kid's safety, then surely your manager wouldn't mind you telling the ignorant pig of a parent to keep an eye on her kid, or telling the child itself to stop doing whatever its doing? Just don't mention or show how much it's pissing you off and you'll be grand

This kind of shit fucks me right off. Having worked in busy restaurants for the past couple of years, it's opened my eyes to how ignorant some parents are. Why would you let your kids run around/lie in the middle of the floor when waiting staff are storming past with roasting hot plates/skillets/coffee cups, etc? It's just asking for a fucking scalding. And no doubt they would sue the fuck out of the place if it happened, rather than blame their own ignorance. Thankfully my last boss advised us all to 'feel free to tell the little bastards to get back in their seats, they're not in a playground'. Which I did MANY a time.

All fucking bingo adverts piss me off. When are they going to create Minky Bingo? I bet the advert for that would be cracking.