Lemonade

Gardai rush to scene after suspicious 'ball bearing device' found on Luas tracks - turns out it was a sex toy

"When the device was examined under torch light it was determined that it was in fact a Rampant Rabbit dildo."

49 minutes ago, Soda Jerk said:

Twitter is a cesspit of dickheads. An accumulation of the worst people on earth all under one roof. Especially if they're posting about football. The thread of comments isn't too surprising.

 

Bizarre how hundreds of people who weren't even there are just blindly saying "Nope. Didn't happen". One saying that it couldn't possibly happen because Stonehaven is some way off the A90. But it's like, 2 minutes, is it not?

A combination of mob mentality and online anonymity, plus the fact that most Rangers fans are pricks to begin with. It's mental how much they just close ranks whenever anyone dares call out their fans on their shitty behaviour. Hiding behind nonsense like this "Anti Rangers agenda" that everyone who blames them for anything immediately gets accused of having (including Dave). It doesn't even occur to them that's its possible that one small group of their fans might just have been acting like drunk dickheads that one day. Just "nope, didn't happen". They really are the worst fans in existence. 

6 minutes ago, E.C said:

New Better Call Saul today !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't get in to Better Call Saul at all. I got about halfway through series 2 and lost patience waiting for something to happen. It was very slow I thought. 

The abuse poor Dave is getting on his twitter over it is pretty disgusting tbh. 

The OP really lit the fuse then just fucking vanished into thin air didn't he/she.

On 8/6/2018 at 4:13 AM, SooperKeef said:

Bet you guys never thought you would see me again. (Or wished. either way.)

No one was called "Hedges" which was unfortunate at best.

I'm the only member who still pursues music (As far as I know, maybe Stefan & Benson are still about).

to put things straight for all the members who thought the thread was cruel, Don't, It gave me the kick up the ass I needed. For all of you who found and still find it funny, go ahead, Everyone is stupid when they are 15. (Fuck I chuckle at the myspace & thread every now and then). I will say I was genuinely that stupid as to not understand the sarcasm that was blatantly happening in that thread.

Anyway I just popped in to say I hope you're all doing well for yourselves and thank you. I probably wouldn't work as hard as I do now if it weren't for you lot taking the piss.

~Have fun, Steve.

Glad to hear you're doing well 

40 minutes ago, James Broonbreed said:

When did Peter Blake die?

I have a feeling it was another Peter Blake and not the artist Peter Blake... I really should shut my mouth now, but I'm a good cunt - ken?

Ha ha 70s sitcom actor Peter Blake died last month. I'm presuming that's not who you meant? 

3 hours ago, scottyboy said:

OK. Morbid curiosity has overcome my horror: what is "snapping" exactly, medically speaking?

This reminds me, I also had questions. 

On 7/30/2018 at 11:15 AM, Teabags said:

Another 3 way tie...

1 - Having the bark from a playground cleaned out of a wide cut on ym knee with a toothbrush.
2 - The 4 days after being circumcised when I was 11. Antyhing that touched my bell-end was utter agony.
3 - Having a tray of tea and coffee spilled over me in Ireland and having to drive an hour to Belfast A&E with my skin basically melting.

Why did you have to get a circumcision at 11?

On 8/1/2018 at 2:17 PM, AVB said:

I tried to boardslide a handrail after a few beers. completely botched it.. legs either side of the rail, which was longer than my legs so entire bodyweight came down on my baws. the zip on my jeans somehow burst through the inside of itself and the pully bit mashed into my foreskin & japseye leaving a mangled bloody mess. seriously the worst pain i have ever experienced.

I pissed nothing but thick black blood for a full day before deciding to go to hospital. Internal bleeding, ruptured urethra, multiple sets of stitches the whole 9 yards. now i'm a jew

And about a week post op I had to have the worst wank of my life

on a happier note, a bruised up willy wrapped up in bloody gauze looks incredibly similar to a kilted sausage 

 

Why did you "have" to have a wank? 

13 hours ago, Soda Jerk said:

They didn't get dicked, and that penalty was incredibly harsh. No way was that deliberate, as the rule implies.

Burnley had all the best chances however. Lewis made some great saves.

 

That equaliser though. 

Joe Lewis. England's Number 1.

It was a very even match I thought. We couldn't really break through but we had plenty chances and had them on the back foot a few times. If Shinnie's long ranger had gone in to make it 2-1 I don't think they would have got back into it. 

18 hours ago, Cabbage said:

Worst cock related injury involved snapping my boner, the noise it made haunts me till this day, it was like a popping noise like cracking your fingers but just a single much louder "schnapp". 

Was an instant take down, from peak 100% thrusting performance to instant maximum pain possible x 100 rolling on the floor screaming. 

Just when I thought nobody could top "Ruptured urethra" along came this. 

Worst I've ever done was catch it in my zip. That was bad enough. Jimmy Lucifer famously ruptured a testicle while on stage with Deadloss Superstar, and I believe the band Bloodnut took their name from his injury. 

"Ruptured Urethra" is going to haunt me. 

I'm nae allowed to take photos in my office and I could get fired for it but here's one of my last job in Aberdeen from 7 years ago. 

7 hours ago, colb said:

Broke my ankle playing 5-a-side in deepest Norfolk, didn't really know any of the guys I was playing with and had to drive 15 miles home so my Mrs could take me to hospital. Working the accelerator and brake on a broken bone was fucking horrendous. 

That sounds fucking awful. 

It's Only Us from Fifa 2000.

I thought the Dons gave a very good account of themselves last night. Showed no fear, got forward well, got stuck in, strong at the back. Good result though I thought we were going to be able to hold on for the win. That big lump Sam Vokes changed the game when he came on, they looked a lot more dangerous when he started getting the headers in. Dom Ball was excellent, GMS, McGinn, Cosgrove, Logan. 

There's a bum note on one of my solos on the Cobra Kai album. It annoys me every time I hear it. Thankfully we only sold like 40 albums so I think I got away with it. 

On 5/2/2005 at 6:17 PM, Alkaline said:

Why Cancer?

Anyhoo, not my cuppa tea, but glad ur doing something you enjoy.

Aberdeen Music trope bingo 

Can't wait for Dave's hot take on the latest shitshow. 

£1.99 in the Kindle Store at the moment. A journalist follows Luton Town around for a season in their first year back in League Two, finding out about life at the arse end of English football. A quick fun read. 

2 hours ago, Dan G said:

"I never listened to anything post Permission To Land"

* quotes song released after Permission to Land * 

But yeah, that lyric - like most of them - was definitely a pisstake.

Ha ha, you got me there.. For some reason I thought that one was on Permission To Land but now I think about it it was the lead single from their next album wasn't it. It was all over Radio 1.

Watching the England games on Irish telly is fun. The Irish pundits seem to openly resent England. I need to try and find this clip that was on before the Columbia game. 

I have a certain fondness for the Darkness. I mean I never listened to anything post Permission To Land but I did quite enjoy them. 

"I want a one-way ticket to Hell and back, 

A one-way ticket to Hell and back" 

I presume that one wasn't supposed to make sense, right?