leftboy

Haven't bought any albums in a while, but here's what i've been listening to: Holst - The Planets Captain Beefheart - Trout Mask Replica Nick Drake - Way To Blue Michael Jackson - Thriller The Clash - London Calling Velvet Underground - White Light/White Heat

Thriller I'm Michael Jackson, I like getting down I'm the King of Pop, I wear the crown I'm a smooth criminal, hear me y'all Watch me dance, you hear the call? Do the moonwalk, that's real fine Fiddling with kids is where I draw the line Friends with Bubbles, he my chimp Wears a mask because he's a gimp Doin' my music, I'm a hip writer Believe you me I'm a lover not a fighter "Off The Wall", "Thriller" and "Bad" Damn good albums, make me feel glad I was "Dangerous", and now "Invincible" Tellin you now this King will never fall Artist of the Millenium, can't you see - I'm full of SHAMON... EEEH!

Yeah, rn'b, urban and all assorted subgenres do suck ass mightily. But then I had the misfortune to have to workin Lava when they had all the Flava nights on (man they sucked ass - the attitude you got!). I don't dislike "black" music - I'm a massive fan of Mile Davis, john Coltrane, Tricky, Herbie Hancock, hell i even like early Michael Jackson. But I just don't hear anything good with all that urban shit. Is it just that it's become so banal and homogenised, as has happened with rock music? Green Day are about as punk as my granny's knickers. Green Day/ are to Sex Pistols what 50 Cent is to Public Enemy.

Surely more combinations of mosh girl and Ewan's thumb are possible? The gay leathermen rally springs to mind, as does the ET one...

Just saw it for the first time . Genius. Burst out laughing at the nazi rally one. Not as good as Ewan's thumbs-up though!!

I'm just putting in this message so that the thread will return to the top...

True, but what is? I've been reading Private Eye every fortnight for over 10 years. They should have a medal just for existing. You realise how much shit is in the papers when you read it!

Best american satire on the web! WASHINGTON, DCThe economically disadvantaged segment of the U.S. population provided the decisive factor in another presidential election last Tuesday, handing control of the government to the rich and powerful once again. "The Republican partythe party of industrial mega-capitalists, corporate financiers, power brokers, and the moneyed elitewould like to thank the undereducated rural poor, the struggling blue-collar workers in Middle America, and the God-fearing underpriviledged minorities who voted George W. Bush back into office," Karl Rove, senior advisor to Bush, told reporters at a press conference Monday. "You have selflessly sacrificed your well-being and voted against your own economic interest. For this, we humbly thank you." Added Rove: "You have acted beyond the call of dutyor, for that matter, good sense." According to Rove, the Republicans found strong support in non-urban areas populated by the people who would have benefited most from the lower-income tax cuts and social-service programs championed by Kerry. Regardless of their own interests, these citizens turned out in record numbers to elect conservatives into office at all levels of the government. "My family's been suffering ever since I lost my job at the screen-door factory, and I haven't seen a doctor for well on four years now," said father of four Buddy Kaldrin of Eerie, CO. "Shit, I don't even remember what a dentist's chair looks like... Basically, I'd give up if it weren't for God's grace. So it's good to know we have a president who cares about religion, too." Kaldrin added: "That's why I always vote straight-ticket Republican, just like my daddy did, before he lost the farm and shot himself in the head, and just like his daddy did, before he died of black-lung disease in the company coal mines." Kaldrin was one of many who listed moral issues among their primary reasons for voting Republican. "Our society is falling apartour treasured values are under attack by terrorists," said Ellen Blaine of Givens, OH, a tiny rural farming community as likely to be attacked by terrorists as it is to be hit by a meteor. "We need someone with old-time morals in the White House. I may not have much of anything in this world, but at least I have my family." "John Kerry is a flip-flopper," she continued. "I saw it on TV. Who knows what terrible things might've happened to my sons overseas if he'd been put in charge?" Kerry supporters also turned out in large numbers this year, but they were outnumbered by those citizens who voted for Bush. "The alliance between the tiny fraction at the top of the pyramid and the teeming masses of mouth-breathers at its enormous base has never been stronger," a triumphant Bush said. "We have an understanding, them and us. They help us stay rich, and in return, we help them stay poor. See? No matter what naysayers may think, the system works." Added Bush: "God bless America's backwards hicks, lunchpail-toting blockheads, doddering elderly, and bumpity-car-driving Spanish-speakers."

Ya gotta mention Jackson Pollock. He the man. I'd post some pics but I don't seem to be allowed to, for some reason... I also like Andy Warhol. He had a self-portrait where he had a pair of hands around his neck, in black and pink - real powerful. Not to mention Jasper Johns - his "Flag" is such a deconstruction of nationalism.

I saw a bird do it in Kef last week. She was trying to light a fag , her hair fell into the flame and started flaming. I had visons of battering her on the head with the cushions to put it out but evidently she had just used too much hairspray. It was kinda funny though. I heard of a guy wearing a shellsuit who set his leg on fire. (This was back in the 80s when the 'suits were cool). It melted onto his leg. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYah fucker.

Christ this is jaw-achingly funny. I'm in the PC lab at Aberdeen Uni and have been cracking up for the past 10 minutes, trying hard not to amidst the studious hum and failing badly. the one in hell, the ET one and the one above are particular genius. The Manowar one is funny as by itself but taken to a whole new dimension... I salute you all!

Yep Viz is funny as. The joke ads are quality too. One in "The Beartrappers Hat" annual has one for "quality porn for the discerning masturbator" - laminated for no stains. Tasha Slapper (Geordie chav) and Fru T Bun are my favourite "new" characters. Oh and 8 Ace, the way it strikes home when you're waiting for the Schooner to open. Mrs 8 Ace to child: "Has the tooth fairy been yet?" Child: "Aye it pissed on me bed and brayed me and took me money." "Mrs 8 Ace: "Ace! Ye bastard!"

I still remember seeing a video of King Diamond <http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B0000C8AP0.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg> back in the day (watching "Raw Power at 4am on a Saturday morning!!). These buffoons are just copying that buffoon, which makes them buffoons to the power of x.

REM are old fat and boring. I think of them and U2 as the Yes and Genesis of our time: bloated rockstars who need shooting by the next generation of hip young punks. I'm not dissing their early stuff. But Daysleeper etc is tedium diluted into 4 minutes.

I think you'll find it the other way round. One is weedy bed-wetters music, the other os soulful and emotional. And how much of a rip off of "Pounding" is that Snow Patrol song?!

Happy: "I'm Set Free", Velvet Underground. Not so much happy, as blissful, quietly euphoric. Like being reconciled with god, or seeing the face of Buddha. I used to listen to it before chanting. Sad song: ""I Know It's Over", The Smiths. Lie on your bed with your room lit by candles, and listen to Morrissey sing "Oh mother, I can feel, the soil falling over my head..." Achingly melancholy in a nice kind of way. There are songs which just make me depressed e.g. "Mother" from The Wall, and "Black Eyed Dog" by Nick Drake, but "I Know It's Over" is the ultimate in imagining yourself dying.

What's everyone's song which they hate most in the whole world ever? I don't want any facetious answers like "that one that Black Atom do", i want pure venom! I'll start the ball rolling by nominating that fucking song by Leane Rimes that goes "How do I live without you... how do I breathe without you..." BY GETTING A LIFE YOU DUMB BINT. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! Perhaps coincidently this was played in a shop whilst I worked there, approx 8 times a day. Any others?

I'd go for two hot-bodied chicks, but who have my own face, preferably with some ginger beardage. Narcissistic and freaky. (I'd like to thank Richard James).

Belle and Sebastian deserve it. What other band could have bagpipes in a song without it being cringe-inducing? Let's face it, they piss all over so much so-called indie, who are a million miles from the inspiration of B&S - the poetry of the lyrics (both waspish and delicate), the aching beauty of the music, senstive without being whining bedwetters (Keane, Travis, Coldplay, all that insipid rubbish that clogs radio like rank tealeaves)... Fish is there, but Marillion are where he made music that's any good to listen to! "Misplaced Childhood" is a classic. And where are the EXPLOITED???? I also think of the KLF as Scottish. Bill Drummond may be known for his involvement in the Liverpool punk scene, managing Tead Drop Explodes etc, but his lugubrious accent on "Build A Fire" from KLF's "The White Room" is worth nominating him for!

I love all the insane homophobic letters they always print in the P&J. Editorial selectiveness, I imagine!

It's certainly not their best song, but it's miles better than some of the pish it's up against (except wuthering heights, obviously). Anyway the scissor sisters are luke-warm disco, what's so good about that?

No you won't. I love that damn song! There's not enough "songs of books", in my humble opinion. I'd still go for Love Will Tear Us Apart, though. Shows what song lyrics can do, even though it is a bit poppy for me. AND MOZZER FOR BEST BRIT MALE!!

Incidently "reeling around the fountain" is licking a chap's sensitive tip til it spurts - like a fountain. Odd the way you pick up info... Yeah man B&S are fan-daby-dozy. "Sleep The Clock Around" is so stunningly beautiful and true that if I could ever write anything so fine I would probably die happy (I'm a writer by the way - check my website...). Fox in the Snow is equally lovely - reminds me of Philip Larkin. For a music forum I do feel that this place is too metal. i would say that the best band playing in aberdeen is the jazz of Bug And Friends. Bug is an amazing guitarist! I have probbly seen them about 15 times, in morgans, drakes and kef, and they have been just getting better and better.