leftboy

Emails to mike@doaberdeen.com, cheers.

DoAberdeen.com is a new listings and what's on website for Aberdeen. We're seeking people who attend local gigs and club nights to write up their experiences and let the world know how it went. Reckon you've got some writing chops? Know what's happening in the live music and/or clubbing scene? Drop us a line and introduce yourself, with a write-up of a location or event of your choice.

I seem to have incredibly vivid dreams. Last night I dreamt that I chopped the head of someone (who looked like the female character in "Misery") with an axe. Then I put the body and head in a large bucket, and was stresing about whether it would get found; luckily the bins got taken away so I was in the clear. I'd been talking about "The Shining" before I went to bed so that may have had something to do with it! Then later I dreamt I was seeing my new flat, which somehow still had one of the former residents in it (who looked like a woman at my work). Things got rather, ahem, steamy after that so I'll a draw a veil over the rest of the events.

Seen the film many a time. It's been credited with inspiring a reform to the Borstal system, so some good has come out of it. The brutal style is perfect for what they're trying to do. I like the fact that there's no music whatsoever: utter starkness. Chockfull of good lines: "Back, grass!" "Where's your tool?" "What tool?" (Carling whacks bloke with a metal pipe). "THIS FUCKING TOOL!" "A fully fledged humanitarian, with a BA in Hatred". "I'm finding myself... strongly drawn towards Mecca, sir-" "MECCA, ARCHER?!" "Banks you bastard! I'm the daddy now! Next time I'll fucking kill you!"

Grimsby is a toss-hole. It's not just the grim associations of its name, its the bunch of bams that live there. I lived there one summer back in the day, so can vouch for this. Stirling is also a pit. I went to uni there and found the place so full of wanna-be Weedgie neds it was mental. Saying that I had a barjob in Raploch at one point, which may have put me off. Bridge of Allan is nice though, if very bourgeois. Closer to home, surely Peterhead and the broch are the local shitpits? I'm working in Peterhead just now and it's one ugly town.

Closer - Joy Division (nice and cheerful) The New York Dolls - The New York Dolls (vampy, trampy) Symphony Fantastique - Berlioz (it was 1, gets a mention in "Revolution In The Head")

To be fair most of the music I encounter on the radio and TV is pretty poor. The big bands of the 90s are now releasing tepid crap - Oasis, U2, REM. When Coldplay get to be the biggest band in the world and Keane (aaarrgh!) are thought to be talented... it's a poor state of affairs. Similarly, when I go to Moshulu to hear the metal, the newer stuff doesn't appeal to me really - I don't like Korn, Muse, , Velvet Revolver will never be GN'R, and so on. Back in the day when I was a greaser (1992) you had Metallica when they were good, Alice In Chains, Black Crowes, GN'R, Nirvana, Slayer, Faith No More, Mudhoney, Fudge Tunnel, Obituary... could you get as good a lineup today? You'll probably say "well find the good music of today then". The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Spritualised, The Music, Franz Ferdiand and Belle & Sebastian are all tremendous. But I don't hear the era-defining stuff of before...

I'm from Buckie so I know the town a wee bit. The "The Friendly Town" roadsign always amuses me no end. Apart from that it's just a handy trainstation, really.

Aye, the whole of "Angels With Dirty Faces" is a long grim trip. Still good though. As is his "Christiansands" - Christina saying "Helsinki" sounds so... weird. Also creepy is a band called Fudgetunnel, anyone know them? Their "Hate Songs In E-Minor" has this really ambient song (a reprise of the title track) - it's like death-ambient, the sound of your life slowly fading. A stunninly creepy song. Let's not forget "Thriller" either!

Rarely go to gigs, sadly, so my list is quite extensive: Yeah Yeah Yeahs Spiritualised The Music Morrissey Sonic Youth Velvet Revolver The Damned (I think they're still touring!) Belle & Sebastian

Oh yeah, and also uncool are: smug couples very fat men with tshirts which they think are hip but are in fact anal-retentive pretentiousness screaming queens (shut UP about kylie) white jeans comb-overs bad teenage 'taches young kids smoking (i.e. less that 15. It's just wrong!) the dire lack of good clubs in Aberdeen. Mudd Club RIP.

GENIUS.

23% gay. Which is quite funny because I'm bisexual.

Amaway to start work as an English teacher at Peterhead Academy. Don't know tthe town, can anyone fill me in? I hear it's ned-ville. Prior to that I have worked as or in: Hogshead St Magnus Court Hotel Lava (that's Kef now, kids) Franklyns Bexx Bar Force Ten Windows and Doors (soul-crushing teleseales) That's just in Aberdeen; I seem to have moved about a lot, for no good reason.

My worst hangover was when at uni (surprisingly!). I'd been out 4 days in a row and on the 4th from 4pm to 2am... Next day I upped and toddled to uni, to find that I couldn't even read the PC screen in the lab. Then everything start to feel like it was caving in, espcially in my skull, so I decided to go home. As I staggered up the long expanse of King St on a freakishly hot day I really thought I was going to have a stroke and keel over and die. I resolved not to drink for 2 weeks after that. I lasted 2 days.

I don't understand why she is supposed to be "hot". She is a rake-thin coke freak.

I also get the Guardian. Its Saturday edition rocks! The listings mag is funny and very on the ball, the sport section is good, there's a literary supplement which has writers from Tom Pauiln to Irvine Welsh, and the job section has a graduate section too. In the paper itself Mark Lawson does a column. What's not to like? As for papers producing drivel, the sad thing is that people buy it. Market forces prevail, so if mags like "Heat" are selling by the shedload, then the sun etc do more and more "celebrity" dross. It's not a conspiracy but it is an indictment of the culture we live in.

Paedo's all over the net must be swarming over that, sweaty palms at the ready.

Quadrophenia Withnail & I Performance Pulp Fiction Labyrinth

This is also true musically. Seeing Radiohead in the AECC in 2003, so many people were standing, arms crossed, clasping their beer stoically. Only singing along to "High and dry" and "Creep". Even the moshing in aberdeen is muted, but when you get thrown out so easily for it, this is no wonder!! They even used to throw people out for it in Mudd, when it was accepted.

You forgot the thumb! The inane affirmation makes it what is is!

Being quite a literary buff I find the cultural level of Aberdeen quite depressing. But saying that the music scene is quite vibrant: Drummonds, Kef, the Tunnels, Lemon Tree etc. What I loathe is His Majesty's and the Arts Centre having really banal plays, middle-class wank, when they could be playing Pinter, Chekhov, Tennessee Williams, Arthur Miller etc. When Miller died there was nothing done or said, which is appalling given he wrote 2 of the C20th most important plays. There are things like the Spring Tides writers group which is quite good, the Belmont cinema, and places like the Kef and the Lemon Tree for more interesting music. The art gallery has some really good exhibitions - the BP Portrait Award is amazing. But compared to Edinburgh this city is culturally very very conservative. Reading the P&J perennial homophobic letters to the ed shows this up very strongly.

How do I post images?

It is actually the case that homosexuality being more fashiobale can encourage people to "try" it. The same thing happened in the 1970s when glitter and camp were fashionable - interestingly the gay community reacted against this and started dressing as clones, acting up their masculinity or parodying it. I think back then that 1/3 people said they had had a homosexual experience. It wouldn't surprise me if it something like 1/4 today - I don't mean an explicitly sexual experience but maybe something in the gray area. E.g. myself and my 2 best mates were all hit on by an older lad (in seperate incidents!) whilst still at school. But maybe we were just hot...