Dan G

A girl in a bar said to me, "I wouldn't fuck you if we were the last person alive."

Is the person in this 'joke' a schitzophrenic or conjoined twins of opposite sex?

True, had to settle for yours. OOOOH!

Was that because she is the only woman in britain with a microscope powerful enough to view your cock?

lololololol

Whats a wildcard? My free transfer?

I've finally got a decent team in. If only I'd had it from the start.... Since I'm second off bottom, the only way is up from now on!

It's definitely looking a lot better than it did at the start for you ryan! Although I think you are still gonna have problems with your defense as well as a number of your players not being regular first team-ers which means they definitely can't score as well as their value decreasing.

It's amazing how much a decent defense will score you in the long run. And the good defenders are half the price of the glamourous strikers!

I really did not find that second one funny at allo_O

You're just jealous cuz your mom didn't jack you off when you were 14.

Tho in saying that I did score a very respectable 81 points this week.

However I lost 40 for making 10 changes to my team last week :down:

yeah you had a beast of a week... but losing 40 points to get there is gutting.

I assume you'd already used your wildcard?

High scoring weekend for most people!

I had a treat on sunday. Unfortunately this was mostly because I made Didier Dogshit captain as an insurance policy and he had a blinder against my beloved Spurs

There once was a man called G-Dizzle,

His gun was so shiny fo' shizzle,

He smokes lots of weed,

And shoots ho's til they bleed,

And he's got loads of mizzle in the bizzle,

And Heaps Others split up.

To be fair, it's a bunch of dudes pissing around in a practice room. Who cares if it's bollocks?

I'm still absolutely terrified of the singer though. Something about him just screams "I'll eat your babies".

Something about him just screams "Deeply Dippy 'bout the way you walk..."

Me. I really can't stand cells.

I don't like prison rooms, but I particularly hate the structural unit of all known living organisms.

How may I help you?

Sometimes they go home at the 70th minute too.

But, what would you have to sing about consistently coming 4th? They should stop even calling it 4th, and just call it Arsenal.

I think Man City or Spurs are more likely to come Arsenal this season, mind.

more likely to come 4th than arsenal?

i'm just getting the image of the Spurs cock jizzing arsenal players.

As a Spurs fan, I hope you're right But I've got a feeling it will be Citeh that finish 3rd/4th though.

The funny thing about that Adebayor incident is... it was the most shouting i've ever seen from an Arsenal support. Usually they just sit there and occasionally clap and not really caring because they are fickle and rubbish.

I've finally taken all the "big four" players out of my defence where they were scoring no points, and put Drogba and Torres up front, and Lampard in midfield. Of course now all my defence is from Wolves and Hull City.

You may regret the decision to take out Gallas. Waste of 4 points and he'll score well soon, as he has some very easy games coming up rather than man u and man c who they have just played and have great fire-power up front.

So how's everyone doing now?

I'm not sure but if I had to guess, I would say he definitely, definitely knew the numbers before they were announced... and it was in no way some sort of trick where he just managed to find a quick way of pretending that he knew them soon after the real draw was made.

Kranjcar to Spurs for 2M. Bargain of the century.

Worst news of the weekend was little Luka Modric getting injured

Incredible player.

Wenger is a prize bellend, but I did find his performance in the stands and interview very funny on saturday. He momantarily went up in my estimation. If anything it is possibly a clever ploy to divert the media's attention from Eboue's dive, especially in the game after Eduardo's cheating.

Most Arsenal players are scum.

My mistake was spunking all my money on a defence and midfield from the "Big 4" then having to have Darren Bent, Robbie Keane and Carlos Tevez up front, and David James in goal.

Keane, Tevez and Bent is a great strike force.

I'd stick with Bent for a few more games - Sunderland have a few easy matches coming up and Bent scores goals in spells so he's due a few. I would know being a massive Spurs fan and having to suffer him net 2 in back to back games and then do Sweet FA for the nest 3. Keane has had a decent enough start with a couple of assists and a goal. If I were you I'd swap Tevez for someone super cheap and then you could turn keane or bent into a Rooney or Drogba.

James was your biggest mistake, because although a good shot stopper - he plays for Pompey who are totally screwed this season. The cheap keepers are doing great so far though: Jensen has been outstanding, Hart is doing alright, and Sorensen has the most points out of everyone. He was my keeper from the start due to Stoke's awesome defensive home record. If you wanted a slightly more expensive option then Given is always worth a go, especially now he plays for Citeh who are looking well soild. Unfortunately.

Regarding players from the big 4, it's always risky to go with Man U midfielders like Nani, Giggs and Carrick as they get rotated so much. Liverpool's defense has been pretty leaky this year (though Glen Johnson has been awesome).

If you're gonna pick big 4 players, you need to splash out on the big guns.

well, SOMETIMES, i'll grant you, yes... but often at 4 in the morning too.

i did noticed i'd humped the cleveland steamers tho

haha true! But only because I made the ridiculous error of spending extra points swapping rooney + a midfielder for Arshavin + a striker. It cost me 8 points making extra transfers and 22 net points as Rooney was my captain but I changed it to Arshavin.

Stupid fucking Arsenal cuntyballs.

Bobby Jarzombek.

If he was from Aberdeen.

bloody thing has only let me log in once so far.

Bri, do you perhaps attempt to log in straight after the games have finished maybe by any chance perhaps?

Come on you Spurs.