JJ 10 Easy Wishes

damn it you made it funny. now only we can share the joke

because he is the worst actor in the world. i would go so far as to say he is worse than your face!

batman is going to be awesome discuss

i'm glad someone picked up on my phenomenal analogy

ho ho ho but seriously forks, are any of the films up for best oscar really as good as past winners? I haven't actually seen of any them but will have done very soon woooop

ha ha excellent wind up. However I will justify it with these conclusions: the reason all those managers have been sacked is because of Freddy Shephard's ineptitude and rash decision making AAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDD: Kenny Dalglish: took over from kevin keegan when we were in 2nd place mid season, finished 2nd. Signed Shay Given and Gary Speed. good work. summer time = sell all the good players we have and replace with below average foreign players like Andreas Anderson and Guivarch. When they weren't quite shit enough he signed fucking JOHN BARNES, IAN RUSH AND STUART PEARCE who were about 80 years old. Finished 13th. If you recall Keegan finished 3rd, 6th, 2nd and 2nd. You'll find the fans didn't actually call for Dalglish to be sacked when he was 6 games into the next season but Shephard decided that despite giving him lots of money to spend in the summer it wasn't worth giving him a chance. THEN Ruud Gullit: Strange appointment. didn't even live in Newcastle - he used to commute from Holland 3 days a week. he managed to make us finish in 13th and bought even more superb players like Frank Dumas and 8 million on Duncan Ferguson. he was sacked the following season when it was obvious he was shit and quickly turning us into aston villa - our decline would be comparable to arsenal's were wenger to leave now and dalglish sell all the players (obviously arsenal won cups first, but if keegan hadn't imploded it may have happened for the toon). Gullit was sacked when we lost 2-1 to worst premiership team ever Sunderland, having left top scorer Alan Shearer on the bench to prove a point. Sir Bobby! Finished 11th twice in a row. SACK HIM! SACK HIM! Oh no wait, he was playing good football and making actively positive decisions that started to see an upturn in the club's fortunes. He signed many of the main stays of our current squad, including excellent youth players of the time (lua lua, nzogbia, milner, butt, carr, robert) but did waste money on (8 million)Carl Cort and Titus Bramble (who was highly rated back in teh day). Now then, after 2 years of mid table, but notable progress not seen under the last 2 piss take managers, Sir Bobby had us finish 4th, 3rd, then 5th. That's pretty good going for a team raped by gullit and dalglish who weren't 'given enough time'. enough time to what? fuck it up even worse than they had? Robson's next season started in bad form, a lot like spurs' this season and Jol was sacked too wasn't he? Robson was fired because Shephard was a cunt and rumours of no dressing room control made robson seem far less empowered than he should. So who else to sort out the dressing room nightmare which Keiron Dyer and Bowyer presented? Graeme Fucking Souness. Finished 14th. Started even worse than Robson the next year. Everyone must appreciate that he HAD to go. No one wanted him there in the first place. fans, the players, even the media weren't excited. THEN Glenn Roeder took over mid way through the next season (Souness was given half a season to prove everyone wrong) and we finished 7th and in a Uefa cup place. The next season, a cup which was Newcastle's to lose was lost due to Roeder's tactical non-know how as we lost a 2 goal AWAY advantage by playing in a style that completely suited AZ's Louis Van Gaal's vastly superior footballing knowledge. This game all but sealed Roeder's fate. He had just broadcast how very, very, very non premiership a manager he was in a very obvious way. For anyone who didn't see that game you won't understand and will say 'you fired a manager cos of one game lolz'. Then BIG SAM I wasn't too pleased he was appointed, but duely applied myself to support his team as I had the last few. He very quickly signed some players that seemed quite good, got rid of some bad wood and appointed 23 additional backroom staff to analyse EVERYTHING. All positives till we started playing THE WORST FOOTBALL I HAVE EVER SEEN NEWCASTLE PLAY. Week in, week out. Fucking hell it was boring. The dressing room had a revolt with one player (rumoured to be Butt) shouting in disbelief during a team talk "but what do we do when WE HAVE the fucking ball?!" Allardyce was probably the best appointment Shephard could have made, but not the best Mike Ashley and Chris Mort could have. In fairness to Ashley, he put with half a season of this shit. The only way to restore some sort of pride in the club was hire someone who understood the passion involved and how important the style of football is. Attacking football scores goals. Goals win games. We weren't going to get any of the top tier managers, and Wengers only come around every so often, so the best thing to do was get someone who understood the club, was good in the transfer market and had the backing of the fans and dressing room. And this my friends, is the end of my essay that should have seen the time better spent on revising for my exam tomorrow.

There isn't a thread about this somehow and because I should be revising, I'll start one. Newcastle are going to be fun to watch again soon! There was no better possible appointment for the team. Now all we need to do is sign albert, lee, ginola, ferdinand and get shearer to start playing again. ruel fox!

santa is doug you sillly

what do you call a fish with no eyes? a fssshh

that was on last night wasn't it? I didn't bother watching it cos i heard it was shit. I would like to vote either 'Goal' or 'Lake Placid' as worst film in the world save the environment and cycle. its only lame in the rain

you can hire a venue yourself and then hire your own bands and advertise it yourself - why hire the middle man? (it makes sense to hire a middle man, that is why) there was somewhere we played in dundee where we did this and it actually worked out really for us, but i honestly cant remember what it was called

is the superbowl for american football or soccer? Is this the one they are playing in London?

If you require picture type evidence please feel free to private message me. This retails for 450 so i think its quite a sexy price. I only ever play my SG and now I have a tele. Let me know!

this will be the shittest album ever made by anything that resembles a human

rush hour is shit, don't even bother going to see it

this thread is (dire)y

give her the keys

watch it then and stop wasting bandwidth like me (i dont know what bandwidth is)

i enjoy playing it on the wii but i dont have one so i wondered if the actual game with no swinging of clubs is actually any good? i cant be horsed playing real golf because im shit and also i think the sport is fuckign boring as well, yet i like the computer games because i am a cunt

is fucking ace discuss

i fucking love the ones where you get to rap. i am the king of those, adam cant handle the pressure, he just folds like wet origami

i will be an english literature student until wednesday at which point i become a full blown film student which i think is exciting and fun but probably not as widely appreciated as having read a bunch of books by dead people

with the exception of non-fiction when you have NOTHING else to do i.e on a plane, or when chilling out on holiday or something especially when you are revising

lion king. good shout.