Swingin' Ryan

Are you mental? Her John Candy impression? As Lucky Rathen said, she can't be more than a size 10 in that video. I'd probably put money on the fact that some of the lyrical accusations in the song have previously been made against you in the past and your masculinity is threatened by the realisation that women in the 21st century discuss men's failings instead of being passive 50's housewives. Just a guess.....

I'm ashamed to say this... I have eaten one. In Barcelona last week at Primavera, we had all been looking at them for two days and saying 'that's fucking disgusting' and 'I'd never eat that' etc but then the drunken hunger kicked in and they started looking pretty tempting. I'm even more ashamed to say, it wasn't even that bad.

I'm also going to Barcelona on Tuesday oddly enough, primarily going for the Primavera festival but will definitely be having a good scout around the city.

Not only winning, but coming back from being two-nil down at half time, at home, in the first leg. More fucking comebacks than Sinatra. Absolutely delighted. Have to say I do feel for Newcastle today and Duff in particular, it just doesn't seem right not having them in the Premiership. On a lighter note, let's all feast our eyes on the boy wonder Ryan Stevenson, stroke the screen gently and thank him for putting Ayr in the first division.

The southwest sauce is Subways greatest asset in my opinion. I tend to always go for the Veggie Patty which is essentially a veggie burger (as there's no other non-meat option) with lettuce, tomato, jalapenos and lots of gherkins. I fucking love gherkins. On the Earl of Sandwich front I favour the Pizza D'nini with black olives or the Veggie Haloumi grill thing. They also have a rather broad selection reading material there whilst you wait, which is always a bonus.

Did a Clyde player not recently get arrested for wank-driving? Is it the new dogging?

Supermarkets are refusing to stock the album unless the cover is covered with a slipcase as it's 'inappropriate'. Mental. http://http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8050110.stm

I sometimes do that in messages (not on here) and I'm not gay. I do love fucking men though. ROFL.

People who chew loudly should have to eat in the fucking toilet as far as I'm concerned.

The noise of anyone eating anything turns my stomach but apples are a particular nightmare. It's almost as if, because it's healthy, people want to draw your attention to the fact they're eating it and crunch away at thr fucking thing. It's the slapping noise of the tongue of the palette that really sends shivers down my spine.

I went to see Let The Right One In the other day, and loved it. I generally have little interest in horror films but this was something special. Really touching and unsettling at the same time and certainly the most beautifully shot film I've watched for a very long time.

It's pretty sickening to think Ayr would have finished top of the table this season if we'd just managed to get a win from fucking Alloa at home. Stuck in a playoff with Brechin now. Not easy. As an added annoyance, just realised if it wasn't for Benayoun's 93rd minute goal against Arsenal, Ayr would be the only team in the country not to lose at home this season.

That has the potential to be pretty awesome.

Awww what! After we've been writing our band name Krabs? Krabs! for ages another band appears using the same 'animal name - question mark - animal name - exclamation mark' formula. Fucking hell. Obviously the main difference is this band have actually recorded songs so they win really. I quite enjoyed them.

Obviously the Manics approached them, but there has to be some desire to actually want to do the remix. I don't think you'd get most of those bands doing the Stereophonics for example.

Seriously, have a listen to the record when it comes out. The two songs they played were probably the two most obvious choices for a Jools performance. Stuff like Marlon J.D and Bag Lady are far from 'almost-rock'. It's a totally fruitless chore debating the Manics with a non-Manics fan (even more fruitless when it's a former Manics fan). I wouldn't pretend I like post-HB stuff as much as the earlier stuff, but I don't think they're a band that can be written off as 'safe arena-rock' or whatever and this newest album is the best proof of that in the last 15 years IMO. If they are a safe arena-rock band, they've got to be the only one in the country to have people as diverse as British Sea Power, Four Tet, The Horrors and Andrew Weatherall wanting to do remixes for them.

I have thought of that, although they might question why it's taken me so long to contact them and ask where my next DVD is.

I haven't even had one this year, it's getting ridiculous. I can pay a 20 fine for losing them but for some reason the 8 seems more appealing, even though I know I'm paying way more in the long run. I think the only way to get out of it is to fake my own death. I'm off to find a corpse.

Probably for the best, that would have been a pretty grim discovery I'd imagine.

I can't find the last DVD's I rented from LoveFilm and have therefore been paying 8 quid a month for nothing for quite a long time. It's now got past the point where I feel I can e-mail them and say the DVD's are lost, so I'll probably just continue to pay 8 a month for the rest of my life for nothing due to awkwardness.

Me and Stephen Hawking was blinding. The Friday show is extended so there'll probably be another Manics song plus a bit of an interview, hopefully one of the acoustic numbers from the album which are beautiful.

As a Man Utd fan I'm hoping it's not Barca as I'm going to be in Barcelona during the final so could be one of those 'don't want to cheer too loud for fear of getting lynched' scenarios. A Man Utd/Barca final will still be a fucking incredible 90+ mins of football.

It was a truly terrible decision. Gutting for Fletcher who has worked immensely hard this season. Still 3-1, some cracking goals, Park scoring and a potentialy fantastic final

This may be the best sentence I've ever read. I honestly don't know why it tickled me so much, but it might be the funniest insult ever. And for the sake of keeping the thread on topic my recommendation is the new Camera Obscura album.

All I needed was Bolton to win on Saturday for 150 quid on my coupon and they hit the bar and had a fucking goal chalked off as offside which by all accounts was a 'close call'. I hate everything.