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Why did the girl fall of her swing?


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A guy phones the local hospital and yells, `you've gotta send help! My wife's in labour!" The nurse says, `calm down. Is this her first child?' He replies, `no! This is her husband!'

What do you call a woman who can balance four pints of beer on her head? Beatrix.

A man walks into a bar with a piece of Tarmac under his arm. He says to the barman: `A pint for me, and one for the road'

Why is television called a medium? Because it is neither rare nor well-done.

"You're a high-priced lawyer! If I give you $500, will you answer two questions for me?"

"Absolutely! What's the second question?"

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? - cos he was a fun-guy

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender looks at him and says "Why the long face?"

A man walks into a bar with a sandwich on his shoulder, the bartender looks at him and says "Sorry, we don't serve food here!"



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q.Whats 20 Ft Long and stinks of piss?

a.The Queue for a Daniel O Donnell Concert. haha

A spanish fireman came in to work 1 day and said that his wife was having twins. He sais he was goin to call 1 child hose A, and 1 hose B.

Dodo died, dodi died, Di died, Dando died....surely Dido's looking a bit worried

q.Who are the most decent people in the hospital?

a.The ultrasound people.

Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if Blind people were given pointed sticks

thats enough hilarity for 1 day...

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two guys sitting in a bar......one guy stands up and shouts "I FUCKED YOUR MUM LAST NIGHT ' date=' I TOOK HER IN THE ASS THEN MADE HER SUCK MY DICK"

The other guy stands up and says "...right dad , i think you have had enough to drink , lets go home..."[/quote']

*applauds*...you win! :up:

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