Pete Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 Men Rules - Read and Memorise We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. Crying is blackmail. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! JUST SAY IT! Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done Not both If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as: Sex, Sport, or Cars You have enough clothes You have too many shoes I am in shape. Round is a shape Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing' date='" we will act like nothing's wrong. [/quote']Thats so true!Men always do that. Also I have learned.Primary rule: Men don't understand hints.... AT ALL.Men, men, men. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest stuartmaxwell Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 .Men' date=' men, men. [/quote']story of your life Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 story of your lifeYou'd know. You had a cameo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Gilman Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 i cant see the link to music? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 i cant see the link to music?I think it was one of those "wrong fiorum" mistakes that everyone says from time to time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Gilman Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 I think it was one of those "wrong fiorum" mistakes that everyone says from time to time.sound, is that one of those wrong spelling and wrong word combo mistakes that everyone SAYS from time to time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 JesusSorry, I'm typing whilst talking to Stephen... blindly... and it's rather obvious in that post. *looks sheepish* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 I`d move this to the wastland if I could... Sadly not Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardcore Mel Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other onechris always says that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psydoll Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 I`d move this to the wastland if I could... Sadly notAnd Ross always says that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted September 18, 2004 Report Share Posted September 18, 2004 There's also this old chestnut:Him: Crashes through the front door, absolutely munted at some bizarre hour of the day.Her (the following day): What time did you get in last night?Him: Err, about half one, I think.Her: No, it was actually four o'clock.Him: So why the fuck are you asking me a question you already know the answer to?Her: *huffy silence*, translated as: "I'm being irrational, he knows it so I'll go in a strop as I cannot win this argument".I love women, but I hate it when they're illogical and irrational. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.