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Fifa 12


Sam 45
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I think we're actually pals online.

We are indeed. I've not played it a good few weeks though. Skyrim gets all my game time atm. Sounds like you are much better than me so you'd probably score 9 in an online matchup between us :p

Online does seem to be determined by who is more wasteful in front of goal than who is better defending, as it is incredibly hard to time tackles properly all the time so you are likely to each get at least a couple of 1 on 1's per match

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Ultimate Team is crazily addictive. After duffing around with a random side I decided to start a new team, Bald Army. No hairies allowed. Abbiati in goal (too poor to afford Reina), Armero, M'Bia, Gallas and Carr along the back, Ireland, Cambiasso, Diarra and Borja Valero in the middle, Anelka and Moussa Sow up front. Luciano Spalletti is the manager. Bald icon Andy Johnson barely makes the bench. The Army have been pretty successful thus far and it's totally amazing watching 11 shiny domeheads skipping around the pitch. Sow is a beast, proper monster of a striker.

The Army needs more balds though. I wanted to get Jonjo Shelvey but people wanted like 5,000 coins for the sucker. Sack that. I keep trawling the auction list for quality balds but it's like pulling teeth at times. Why are there so few quality bald wingers?

The selection criteria is getting pretty complicated. If you have more than 30% of your original hair, you're not getting in. I was chuffed to get Fredi Kanoute in until I played a game with him. There's a clear dusting of shorn hair along the back of his head. Gerrout, ya bastard. At least he's not a shaved though, those guys are deceptive bastards. Guys like Martin Skrtel shaving their full head of hair to try and integrate themselves into the bald community. Pathetic. Down with all shaveds.

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I've done what I used to do in my Pro Ev days and created an entire team of fictional players. I then clear out the entire squad of a team and replace them with my fictional squad (in this case, I used Portsmouth, for no particular reason other than I like their strip).

You would marvel in their glory. #10: Natijj Zozulya, my powerful Algerian midfielder. Pretty much based on Zidane. #12: Oliver Liberman, my Swiss-German deep lying play-maker. He's kind of like Andrea Pirlo. Or what about #17: Gavin Halford, my cocky English goal-scorer. He's like a white Darren Bent

I spent my free time doing this.

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I was quite enjoying UT until I couldn't play half my squad due to their contracts running out.

You can get cards that will extend contracts for 25 games of something stupid like that.

How can anyone dislike a game mode that makes the Bald Army possible? You sound like a shaved.

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