What do you like about playing in a band?

[Lemonade]

QFT. Agree 100% with absolutely all of this. So much so in fact that I have nothing to add. This post is pointless. I should'a just repped Lucky, but he's a mod so that'd be pointless too.

My life is pointless.

xx

I cam still get rep points, it's just that only I can see them. When I inevitably get fired for being a shit mod, they'll all be sitting there waiting for when I'm bumped back to "member" status

Go on, indulge me.

[Stroopy121]

I cam still get rep points, it's just that only I can see them. When I inevitably get fired for being a shit mod, they'll all be sitting there waiting for when I'm bumped back to "member" status

Go on, indulge me.

Just so you know, at 11,121 posts, you'll need a monumental amount of rep before your efforts don't appear to be in vain....

xx

[Teabags]

Touring is great. Here's some tales from Filthpact tours.

Right, documented cos I know you're all so interested, like I'm interested in how sexy my own stench is.

So, two vans.

-The Bucket of Fuck: 5 seater 1988 Mercedes 207D with 5 people and all the gear

-The Rental: 15 seater 2003 Ford Transit Minibus with the other 11 people and some bags etc.

Filthpact: Ben, Jeeves, Mitch, Al-B and myself (Teabags)

Atomgevitter: Roddy, Stefan, James, Tommy

Unkind: Tommi, Janne, Saku, Marko and Allu

Others: Cat(form Moshulu) with us up until Kirkcaldy

Chris(Boxed-In and Give Up All Hope) with us form Middlesbrough to London

Sned(Boxed-In and Flat Earth Records) and Dingo(Boxed-In) with us from Middlesbrough to Boston

Hexa(Moshtradamosh, Care Diem, Unkind's Merch dude) with us form London till the end.

Bridget and her hitchhiking friend with us form Stranraer to Edinburgh

10 gigs. Around Scotland, England, Ireland, Northern Ireland.

Heres what happened, briefly.

Kirkcaldy - gig not that great.very drunk.next morning, as leaving, our van(the Bucket of Fuck) got crashed into by some old twat. his car was fucked, ours not too bad. was picking up his grand-daughter. in lane to right of us. she was to left of us. never checked his mirror. smack. got away with it though. drove on.

Middlesbrough - arrived in city.saw the most attractive whore in britain working down the docks.gig alright.got drunk.usual shite. number sexy girl was girl in bandana and Nora hoodie.

Boston - gig was nuts.people doing human pyramids.roddy of atomgevitter dressed up as pope to commemorate his death.attacked people with large inflatable banana.met foreign lauryn who likes it up the wrong 'un.very sexy. sexy girl number 2 actually. also met Charlene, the drunken attemptee at pool playing. sexy girl number 3. some guy puked all over the room we were sleeping in.while Bukcet of Fuck going back to other house with 7 people and Stefan driving, got pulled over by police, even though the guy driving was not on insurance and van was overloaded with more people than allowed, got away with it. Marvellous Marv the promoter drunkingly sweet talked their way out of it. I woke up in pub and realised id pissed myself during the night.went to the pornshop to see foreign lauryn again,then left for london.

Brixton,London - got lost coming into London, not suprisingly, but not too badly.gig was good.nice food.stayed in nicest squat ive ever seen in my life.got parking fine of 40 for parking the Mini-Bus up on the kerb. thought we were being generous by freeing up some space on the narrow street. cunts. too many sexy girls with dreads to pick out any in particular.

Southampton - gig alright.not that great.got Army of Flying Robots/Jinn split 10". Yas! got drunk and had handlebar mustache drawn on my face.went to club afterwards. shouted abuse in Finnish. used awful chat up line on two girls "Me and my friend have a bet....". went back, played Mega-Drive and informed the people whose house I was staying in that I pissed myself two nights before.

Bristol - on our way to gig, gear box in van got shot to shit. stuck on motorway, unable to move. police arrived. was a total cunt. "get it shifted!" we cant get it shifted you penis, theres no gears. anyway, fimnally got it moving and off the road then fixed it easy enough. went to Stonhenge, shouted abuse at people that had payed 5 to get in, when getting in involves getinng a meer 5 feet closer to the stones and a little thing that tells you about the history. fucking piss! then went to another willage to other stone circles. Got to gig and had a curry. Gig was going good, till Mitch(our vocalist) smacked Ben(guitars) in the head with the microphone and he was pissing blood everywhere.so, cut set short then just got drunk, went to hosue we were staying at, not enough space, slept in very tight spaces.

Leeds - gig was ace. Valehella Pacifists are fucking amazing.more human pyramids and other crazy dances.sold records etc.got drunk. went back, had to get up at 8 in morning, so fell asleep sharpish. sexy girl number 4 was the girl who bought lots of records appeared to have 4 arms due to her boyfriend never ceasing his kung fu grip around her waist.

The crossing to Ireland Debauchery - so, it should have been sorted. The Bucket of Fuck van would go direct to Dublin from Hollyhead on the ferry, with all the gear and 5 people. The mini-bus had to drive to Stranraer in Scotland to cross over to Belfast with the other 11 people. They would then get picked up in Belfast by a friend and be taken to the gig in Dublin, since we couldnt take the rented mini-bus into Ireland due to insurance. easy enough, right? wrong. We arrived in plenty of time (12PM) in Hollyhead, waiting for our ferry at 2:30. Discovered we were now delayed cos of weather and were on a ferry at 3:30 which was a high speed one and would get to Dublin at 5:05PM. fair enough. phoned other guys, and they were all fine on ferry, except Hexa(merch guy for Unkind) who was held back to be interviewed by Police under the Anti-Terrorism act, all because they discovered he had a Noam Chomsky book!!! pile of shite. anyway, he caught a later ferry, and would get to Belfast at 5, so they reckoned they'd get to Dublin about 8PM. Thats fair enough. Then, more trouble our end, our ferry was changed again to a sailing at 4:30 which would get in at 7:30. SUppose thats alright, but not ideal. 5 o' clock and we're still not on the ferry. 5:30, van is on ferry, we're not moving. Ferry finally sets sail about 6.so we'd maybe get there by about 9. not good. Further delayed bcause of a car ferrry leaving Dublin port, so had to wait outside the port. Finally got into Dublin port at 10. got to venue at 10:20. FUCKED! had to cut all our sets short and kick two local bands off the bill as I believe. Fucking arse!

Dublin - so asides from the ferry bull shit, the gig was alright. Got drunk, saw lots of old mates from Easpa Measa and others. Went back to house, huge party in a small room to cheesy disco music. Some others went to another house which was apparently quieter, but well, it wasn't, it was worse apparently. Anyway, i slept in a very very uncomfortable position and got a sore back. Went to town next day in search of Randy Savage t-shirts(as we were informed about by Nina, sexy girl number 5). couldn't find them Jeeves, our drummer wasn't driving, and got very drunk in the morning and was adamant to stay in Dublin rather than go play our gig in Belfast. but we got him out eventually. Headed to...

Belfast - got good food, and then gig was crazy. Punks in Belfats were nuts. Atomgevitter had their clothes riped off, and Roddy even dipped his cock in his pint of guinness on several occasions and drank it. Party back at Glynn Dagda's hosue was going good. Plenty beer, buckfast, table football, Today is the Day, Iron Monkey, sorted! But then the coppers turned up cos of the noise. oh the shame. woke up in boxers, with cock in full view of world, and half a half bottle of buckfast in my hand.

Edinburgh - this time both vans went from Belfast to Stranraer.no problems with delays. but our van battery died at Security in Belfast. luckily had spare one.got on ferry, crossed, security at other side made us fill in cards about Anti-Terror act, asked us questions, got the sniffer dog to check us out. poor dog. we aint showered in 10 days. the other van picked up some hitchhikers from Aberdeen. he he. both gils. lucky guys. anyway, got to Edinburgh, GOOD food from House of Crust, then on to gig, which again, was good. Played lots of pool, my mate adam was dressed as a girl. Went back, no real partying hard, but getting very drunk with a 24 crate I'd bought earlier. Ben slept in van, and was woken up by police about a suspicious happening in the area. They let him off.

Next day, we dropped off Unkind at airport, had lunch in Glasgow, then me, Ben, Roddy and Stefan went to a gig in Glasgow. Atomgevitter meant to play as well as Oi Polloi, but both had to cancel. Anyway, went to gig, got REALLY drunk, acted like idiots. Then, invited some poor lonely american guy back to have a party. But, well, the van broke down halfway there, hahaha. Spent ages trying to fix it, extremely drunk. No use. got it into a gear and pushed it out of the road to a parking spot. Just after we did, cops showed up. They were cool, left us alone without any questions. Wouldn't leave tillw e sang them a song. "Oh you're the polis, you're on the night shift, yev ginger hair and oor van is ucked!" Just as they were about to leave, 3 more cop cars turned up. But, nothing happened. We walked back to Stefan's and were peeing in the street, getting dicks out, drinking whisky, putting chairs on parked cars then getting in trouble form the neighbours because we touched their skateboard. Anyway, next morning, went and sat in van for 3 hours waiting for a repair truck, One turned up half an hour after we got there, but left straight away. Other showed up 3 hours later and loaded the van on the back, drove us back to Aberdeen. He had a DVD player in the back, so that was cool.

PS If any of sexy girl number 1-5 reads this, leave a comment, and tell me I'm a pervvy cunt rag.

I'm recording vocals today.

< matcho man randy savage mode >"I'm gonna watch it....and I'm gonna wank! OOOOOOOOH YEEEEAH" < /matcho man randy savage mode >

Finland

Highlights of Finland (in chronological order)

1 - Dave getting very drunk on the first night and telling every single person that he loved them.

2 - Getting back to Sako's flat after the pub and his girlfriend had made us sandwiches.

3 - Going to the public sauna (not knowing it was the meeting day for the old local army veterans) and having them smoke us out byu constantly throwing more water on to try and make it hotter than hell itself.

4 - Being butt naked in front of everybody, and everyone else butt naked too.

5 - not beong able to see other's wangs in Sauna due to lack of glasses, so not feeling inadequate about my moderately sized dong.

6 - old man washing Dave's hair for him.

7 - Ristisaatto playing some crazy as fuck noisecore.

8 - Two random girls laughing as Dave walked past and then telling Jeeves that Dave apparently looks liek David Hasselhoff.

9 - Misa, after meeting her for 5 minutes, telling me and Alby about how she sometimes drools on Satru's face when she climaxes.

10 - Getting to talk to Pipsa.

11 - Misa confirming that Dave does indeed look like David Hasselhoff.

12 - Dancing to strange huumpaa songs at Saku's flat.

13 - Getting my face COMPLETELY covered in black marker.

14 - Deciding Dave shall now be referred to as Mitch. Mitch being David Hasselhoff's character in Baywatch (if anyone discovers this is untrue, do comment)

15 - the long winded game about the orgy which included Mitch jumping out the closet dressed as NightRider

16 - Mika and Miika from VK being fucking bleazing yet still managing to play.

17 - the dude on acid in Turku that kept showing me his English lyrics and drawing my face.

18 - Jarrppa and I destroying two guys who hadn't been beatn at Table Football in 2 weeks. 10-0 we beat them.

19 - Long conversations with Tommih on his various balconys while smoking about E-Bay, Mushrooms and other random stupidness.

20 - Mika forgetting the name of "the band that sang about McDonalds even though the singer is the only one that doesn't eat there". The band was apparently Disrupt.

21 - Mitch being clueless as to the fact that instad of pissing in the bushes liek Satru told him too, he was in fact pissing on Satru's neighbour's letter box.

22 - Our meet at the Punk house in Helsinki. Fish and Chips (well, Fish fingers and Oven chips).

23 - Jarrppa destroying Ben at Couronne.Thus making it merely a game, not a sport, since the Finnish are good at it.

24 - Jana being too fucked to stand without propping himself up with a beer bottle, but still being able to play almost flawlessly with Pax Americana.

24 - Dancing to DJ Crazy Tommy T, with his shit scratching and playing tapes and records at the wrong speeds.

25 - My sleep on the last night in the Punk House.

Okay, so luckily for once I'm starting a tour in a place I'm familiar with. First gig in Aberdeen, with Easpa measa who I'm glad to see again after 4 days of drunken debauchery with them earlier on this year. However, I soon discover that playing in my hometown first is not so good. We're on second and I'm fucking spangled! All I can remember is me playing pretty badly. I could barely see the frets on my guitar I was so fucking pished. Anyway, Easpa Measa play a top set and I apparently dance like a tit implant(nothing new). I then piss off to a club to see a certain lady friend before we hea doff on the road the next day. I'm not in there for too logn before I decide I'm too pished to stand up and head home, alone, with nobody but two portion so fo chips. I wake u, go buy some guitar strings and we eventually get on the road down to Edinburgh. The gig is top notch even though we decide to go on first. I'm pretty drunk but still play perfectly well.

Das is gud(or whatever it is in german).Afterbirth also play a killer set despite the lack of Gary(again!) as well as Easpa Measa. The real fun starts when we get back to the house of crust. We drink lots more, smoke and more. Then, for fuck knows what reason, we start a wrestling match. Alby vs. Myself first and of course, I got pummelled. Then its Paul(Afterbirth) vs. Alby, then Paul vs Jeeves vs Alby. Was pretty chaotic, btu fun all the same. After this, everything calms down a bit, and Jeeves sings me a lullaby?? This puts me straight to sleep apparently. Next thing i know is me waking up with drawings all voer my face and body. They even managed to draw eyes onto my eyelids without me waking up! So, next day its off to liverpool. Before we leave however, I am informed by someone in a busy queue in the Post Office that I have "CUNT" written on the back of my neck.Oh well. After a long and tedious drive due to a big crash on the motorway, and fuckign around one way systems for ages, we get to the venue. With all these scouse accents, I can't tell if I'm in heaven or Hell. Which incidentally, is the name of the venue. We were playing downsairs in heaven while upstairs in hell there was an sXe gig. The Scousers have everything muddled up to fuck.Kids with Xs on their hands and TRUE on their knuckles. Jesus. Easpa measa were good at rubbing it in with Xs and Os and knots and crosses on their hands. Ha ha.So, Easpa on first tonight, who played well, but to a rather dead crowd unfortunately. Crowd is same with us on secdon. But then the final band, narcosis. Oh, whaa fuckign band. Best in Britain! Even without Oliver on bass, they still sound liek a fuckign freight train pounding your fuckign heed in! And with Peet on vox being so fuckign pished,, its a fuckign gig to remember. So, we get kicked out very quickly by some club DJ. Waiting with the gear outside, Friday night in Scouseland, and we're met with some ace remarks form girls whose skirts were like belts. One ran past us going "eugh....freaks!". That'll go to my fucking grave.We finally get back to the flat we're staying in, and I get some really good chips and a few bevvies.

But I'm off to bed in the hall before long (dozy cunt). In the morning that Alby, the cunt that he is, went outside on the middle of the night to try and scare the folk sleeping in the vans. After being caught by Jeeves in the Filthy Bus, he trys the Easpa one, and after baning on the window for a while, a very big and angry Eric runs out ready to smack some cunt in good and proper. he luckily holds back when he realises its Alby and settles for just verbal abuse. We then form a production line as it were to get some 7"s into sleeves to give to Matt to take back up the road for Afterbirth, since we only got them that night; say bye to Easpa and quest into Liverpool for a music shop,since one of our amp heads blew a valve or something. Takes us ages to find one, and some cheap batteries to get some music in the van, then head off down to London. We get there and its about a 6 hour wait before we have to play. So we go to tescos for some cheap booze. We then discover the valve doesn't work, so we're not a head down for the rest of the tour. Oh, the wonder. Anyway, we play after a couple of garage punk bands and despite blowing the PA so vox are pretty much non existant for our set, its a fuckign good gig.

We have to leave during other bands though to get a ferry form Dover. One girl did love my accent though, and I should point out that Alby got a kiss from the Fuctfast girl (yes, Sarah, if you read this, thats you). A cidered up twitterpated Alby is a funny thing. Yes, I just used a word from bambi, I'm a pansy. So, not a single security check on the ferry crossing, so we get on no bother. Ben, Dave and Jeeves find somewhere to sleep while me and Alby go for a wonder, him cradling his bottle of cider like a new born baby.We find an arcade and have some fun, then a quick sleep (Alby used his cider as a pillow so that nobody nicked it, even though anybody could have easily been away with hsi wallet.Not logn till we're back in the van and straight driving along the road to Leuven, Belgium.Get to the squat, after tons of wrong directions, and chill out there for a while. Jeeves and Ben get more sleep,sicne we have to leave as soon as we play to drive to Munich. I stayed up in the garden drinking with some residents though. There is even a dog named 'Dagda', ha ha. And even though Dagda is a bitch, she keeps mounting and humping G, who is male. I think these squatters might have smoked a bit too much round there dogs, hehe.I then get a visitor, Esperanza, an old friend form the middle east that I hadn't sen in about 3 years. Was quite pleasant. Most of the others are sleeping, but I fire into the cider and booze like theres no tomorrow. Get tea and its well nice, and I get some Carapils! Yas, best beer ever(after Budvar of course). Been a year since I had any, and oh, what biss! I went back out to the garden and must have passed out cos I spilt beer all voer my croth. We finally play ,and its the shortest set of the night. they seem to like it, but they wont let us finish. After playing a couple of songs for a secxond time, me, ben and Jeeves do some improvised crust/grind.

Then we tell them that we really have to go and hit the road to Munich. Pack up the gear, chat to a few people, say goodbyes to old friends, and head off. We drive for about 2 hours thens top to sleep for 8 hours. 5 people sleeping in the van aint comfy, but its doable, especially if the two drivers (ben and Jeeves) share the bed. We then wake, got Wurst and drive another 8 hours. Directions are top quality and we find the place no bother. And fuck, what a venue. Apparently its a squat, but its crazy. We even have a backstage room witha fridge full of beers. Yas! Satru from Paz Americana meets up with us here, and with that mind, we get through the beer rather quickly, and play a game of dice. We play first to some rather bored looking HXC kids, who are most likely here to see Daughters. Probably our tightest gig, but little to no repsonse from the crowd. Oh well. Daughters' vocalist is sick, so he doesn't sound on form. however, he does manage to get the entire crowd to move closer to the stage. Like Moses parting the red sea, it was a miracle. Daughters are ace. We buy a heap of beers for the night, and get drunk with some of the guys from Daughters. And anybody that says theiy're arseholes are obviously speaking out their bell-ends, cos they're a really cool laid back bunch of guys. I am also given some smoke form a local, which Jeeves and Dave are well excited about. next day, we have to leave about 10AM, and theres only 3 eggs, so me, Satru and Alby miss brekkie. Big long drive to Prelouc in Czech, which we're getting used to now. Its quiet, someone sleeping on the bed, and Ive just written 6 pages of this stuff. I'll come back tomorrow kids with more stories. Same time, same place and the same smell from Albys rotten arse.

Right, the border control to Czech didn't like us very much. Especially me. Had to empty all my pockets, my wallet, they even inquired about my baccy and some white lint in my pocket. Then, 4 people searched the van for about 5 minutes, while one checked our shoes and the soles of our feet. They foudn nothing, cos we had nothing, and let us go. They didnt even make us unload all the gear, which was good, cos that would have been a pain in the arse. Satru crossed on foot then met us about half a kilometre up the motorway. We got into the town and met Everything Must Go form the states who we were playing the next 4 shows with. they seemed like cool guys, and me, Satru and Alby went for a beer in a nearby pub with three of them(Jake, Ed and Brian I think it was) for a pint. Chep as fuck as well. Average about 20 crowns a pint, which was about 30 pence. Yas!!! So we then headed back to the venue, the Rock and Roll club, set up, and met some guys smoking outside. They gave some to Jeeves as a present which made him happy. I found a Catheter CD, Wolfbrigade "In Darkness.." LP, which kept me happy along with the Skitsystem and Kontrovers LPs I got in London. The gig was pretty cool, though the stage was strange, and my guitar sound wasn't that great, we played well. EMG were cool as well, playing some punked up rock n roll stuff. During their set I passed out on a couch with my thumb in my mouth. The others showed me the photos in the morning. I also managed to get carpet burn on my chin, which Jeeves says is from when he was shagging me like a wheelbarrow. But he would say that. We headed off kinda early to get to Teplice. But we stopped off in town to see the Bone Church. Howver, when we got there, Jeeves realised the grass was missing. It was in a cigarette box which someone had thrown int he bin, thinking it was empty. So Jeeves and Dave drover back to get that while me, Satru, ben and Alby went round twon. GOt some bacci, a pint and a crate of beers( at 11AM). ben then got signalled over to a car by soem guy in a Skoda. Turns out he gave him some grass just for us being punks. Ha ha. We gave him a CD when Jeeves and Dave got back. When we finally got ot the bone-church, ti was fuckign amazing. Coat of arms, pillars, chandaliers, evrything, all made out of human bones. I loved it.

Like grim necro black metal heaven. Ha Ha. So, then, off on the road to Teplice. We sit around for a while outside the venue wiaiting for the promoter, with a couple of local punk kids. the, Staru, for some genius reason, jumps on a defunct toothpaste tube, which backfires....all over Alby. Hahaha, to prove he can launch toothpaste though, he goes and buys some more toothpaste tubes, which manages to launch a wod of it a massive 15 metres. This, we later find out, becomes an obsession. The gig is pretty dead, although we do play well, and EMG go down alot better than us. But, we find Satru sleeping in abackroom and draw some eyes on eyelids and "Made in Sweeden" on his forehead. he he.We got to the promoters house to sleep, and I wake up with Dave practicaly kissing me. I begin farting alot, probably the goulash, and within 10 minutes the place is fucking reeking. We get "motivated" and go back to the venue to get the gear. Then off on the road again to the next gig. Its around now that a funny dislike for Steve(EMGs driver) arises. The band were cool. he was just too much Steve for us to handle. We get to the town, and get out to look for the venue, and change the lettering of a poster to Bolock rather than Bullock. We finally find the venue, and EMG have beat us there, but its a fucking nice place. We get some Goulash and a coffee round at the promoters mum and Dads place. Probably best Goulash I've evertasted. Well fine. Finally time for the gig and its ACE. Lots of punks thrashing it up, punking it up, pissin it up and just generally making it worth it! We then go outside for the Satru Vs jeeves toothpaste launch challenge. Satru fucks up round one with a poxy launch and manages to step on his second tube in the process. Jeeves wins with a 6m luanch in the first round, then beats it with an 8 m launch in the second. Still not beat Satru's 15 m world record, but thats besides the point. Scotland 1 - Finland 0. Oh, and this is done with a crowd of about 30 people watching us. Ha ha. EMG play a killer set, with tons of us dancing like headless chickens, including Jeeves and Satru. I then sit outside and meet Pavlos who ends up giving us about a half ounce of grass for free. So we give hm 2 CDs, and split the grass with EMG. We also meet Tomas, the fabulous human beatbox. He was seriously amazing! being all pretty fucked, especially Ben and jeeves, who have been driving all tour, so haven't had much chance, we do some silly things. I went back in and danced to ABBA - Dancing Queen. Everyone was watching me, like a fucking knobber I was. I ended it by losing power in my legs and rolling around on the floor. Next thing I know, I'm awake in the van. Apparently there was a 2 hour period where I had disappeared. This happens alot....anyway; We find one of Bens shoes outside the van. And it had been raining all night, so that wasn't a good thing, haha.We get some food form the maket across the way, and meet Tomas walking home with his girl friend. No beat boxing though. Even though he didn't speak english, the guy was a legend in my books. We also found Jeeves attempts at drawing flames on the wheel arch of the van. Hahahahaha. They looked like fuckign ater waves in black marker! They were PISS!! o, after kickin about for about a while and doing an interview with Satru, we head off. And cos of some extra cash, we cheer up Alby and buy him some porn. So hardcore it was scary. Thats the Czech part, I'll be back after The last three gigs in Czech, Austria and Germany.

Okay, so we arrive in Straznice, for our final Czech gig, and its a nice wee pub, in a nice wee town. We originally think we're getting sx free beers, so one each. We are then shown where we're sleeping. Oh, bliss! The promoter, Bohdan, had said in e-mails it was liek a hotel. He meant literally. There was bedrooms, with TVs, showers, even a towel and a little bar of soap on the end of eahc bed!! Amazing. We even got our own keys! Fucking ace! So we all calimed a bed, and since EMG hadn't arrived yet, well tough, they could get the pull out couches and double bed that were left. Our tea is, again, Goulash. But, over these 4 days of Goulash, its gotten better every night! Then, as people are turning up, we find out we're not getting 6 free beers. We get 6 free beers EACH! Yas! A local of the pub, who can't speak english and has insisted we all try his brew stuff, which Satru is amazed to find is Killju(a Finnish equivalent of Buckfast I believe) takes a liking to my Scatha badge, even though he appears to have no idea who they are. So he gives me a pack of 20 fags for the badge. Fair trade I believe. So, the gig kicks off, and EMG still aint arrived. Prof Lefvabre are on first. A loacl Napalm Death-esque grind band.Fucking ACE! And one of their vocalists looks uncannily liek Angus from Scatha(I know, I spelt his name wrong, I'm useless). We're on second and play pretty well, even though im rather fucking pished. EMG finally arrived before we started and started demanding keyts to the rooms. Incidentally, we end up all in one bedroom, cos they knicked the others. jeeves and Ben slept in the van. When they play, the rooms i jam packed, with people going nuts.Im too wasted to see straight so after showing some locals some Agoraphobic Nosebleed ona CD player, and getting some Budvar, I am sent to bed by Jeeves. I have a shower in the moring and I'm given some raspberry tea and a half pint for a wake up call.

As well as fried cheese, bolied spuds and sliced veg for brekkie. Oh, it was fuckign bliss. Ben had a shot of the owners homebrew, and is already fucked when we get in the van. We get some photos of this legendary location then head off to Vienna. We discover at this point, that Jeeves dont like Austria. When we find the venue, EKH Squat, its nice. We are told we're getting free beer all night,a nd fire right in there. Me and Alby also get a internet caf, which wa spointless, cos we find out the next morning they have net acess in the squat. Damn it. When we return, Satru and a local have teamed up, drunk as buggery, trying to take on two of the members of Soon In Here(Israeli hardcore band) at table footballs, and get slaughtered while they're at it. But they're chuffed atscoring 4 goals before retiring. Me and Alby have some grudge matches and I win 2 to 1. YAS!! We drink more, get some gnosh,a nd I get chatting to the Soon in here guys. they're all cool, with really good English. We also are introduced to a Scottish guy, who turns out to be one of the guys that saw Voice of Aggression(me, Dave and Albys old band) at Bilston Protest Camp a bout a year and a half before. jesus, what a coincidence. We play third I think it was, and I'm well drunk, barefooted, and ready. However, i break a string in the start fo the set and it takes me fuckign forever to get it changed. Oh well, I finally do and its all good. Goes down pretty well.

Sold quite a few CDs/7"s. I also kiss a dog outside who was trying to have sex with em and chew off my arm. I loved that dog. Then, while getting sleeping bags, Alby winded me with hsi, so we were chucking them back and forth. Unfortunately, I badly skaved Albys thumb. Oops. Get to sleep, amazingly, since there was a guy in the room who snored like the fucking devil!! Woke up and got breakfast, then said bye to Satru, since he was staying in Vienna, and headed to Dorphen for our last gig. Took us a long time to get there, due to alot fo roads being closed, but we got there eventually.I think we ended up being on second, after Crawfish from Belgium. even though we had to catch a ferry from Calais in about 24 hours, we stuck around to see Soon In Here and Skarp(USA). Glad I did as well, cos Skarp were fucking ace. As were soon In here, much like the night before in Vienna. We had a chat, got payed a bit of money, but they gave us 3 crates of beer to make up for it, then did some trades and headed off to the ferry port. this included ALOT of driving. We stopped off at a service depot, and slept. We then drove for about 14 hours or something ridiculous to get to the ferry in time. We were there plenty early, stayed up the majrity of the ferry journey, and just drove all the way back through Britain without any stops.

And so we have it, the Filthpact ATAF tour. It was long. It was smelly, but it was fucking good. Hope I aint bored you too much. Might be back in Ploppy Pants for the Atomgevitter/Filthpact/Unkind tour diary later in 2005.Hopefully we can have a ploppy pants/teabags collaboration on that one.

Yours crustily

Teabags.

[Soda Jerk]

Best thing about being on tour is inevitably sitting next to a vegan in the van, and purposely eating something smelly, like a cheese sandwich or a bucket of scotch eggs. Meat might be more offensive, but it's not as smelly.

[Lemonade]

Just so you know, at 11,121 posts, you'll need a monumental amount of rep before your efforts don't appear to be in vain....

xx

2977 rep points and 3 brown stars. Kneel before me boy. And open your mouth a bit.

[Guest idol_wild]

2977 rep points and 3 brown stars. Kneel before me boy. And open your mouth a bit.

You're going to shit in his mouth out of all three brown stars?

[Woodsinho]

2977 rep points and 3 brown stars. Kneel before me boy. And open your mouth a bit.

0.268 rep points per post. Poor show Rathen.

So yeah, the being in a band thing. I'm no songwriter on my own but the sense of pride that comes from jamming out a new tune is great. As for where my part fits into the greater scheme of the band: I always see myself being in a supporting role to the guitarists and vocals so I don't have any desire to overcomplicate things for the sake of standing out. I'd rather come up with something that sounds interesting where possible but I'm not going to force it when the overall sound of the song dictates that I need to keep it simple. In that respect it helps that I'm not a particularly technically gifted drummer.

[Teabags]

Another tour story. This time when I was in The Fighting Cougars. I joined the day before the tour and played guitar. WOO HOO!

Germany with the Fighting Cougars.

Where to start.

Well, arrived in germany, got dinner, went to the drummer from Alliance's flat to drink and wtach the football (Czech vs Greece). Half way through, went to get more beer and met some crazy local who took us to his fav pub, bought us beers and told us how he used to roadie for The Who, The Rolling Stones and how Richie Blackmore was into Voodoo and was using his guitar to conduct black magic.

Next day, met all other bands and drove to Rostock for first gig. Got to the venue, a BOAT. MS Stubnitz (: : m o t o r s h i p : s t u b n i t z : :). Huge venue, big stage with working video screens and filming from multiple angles while each band played. Then got drunk, set my jacket on fie by mistake, went outside and climbed a massive crane. I then went to bed, but the otehrs apparently got into trouble for smoking in one of the cabins. Next morning I looked across the water to see a boat named "BASTARD" hahahahaha.

Next day, played in Leubech. Nice squat and a CRAZY gig. Even though I broke like 4 strings on 3 different guitars. People liked it, lots of moshing, LOTS of beer and then I ended up going to some girls house, smoking a bong and passing out.

Next day, Flensburg. Really fuckign big club/house (not a squat I found out) and one of the girls who lived there turns out I met in Utrecht(HOLLAND) last year when VOA were on tour. Gig went really well. Although we were own early, towards the end of the football final, but more people came in during the set and seemed to enjoy it. After the gig, they turned into it into a disco. With retro tunes like emmm, well, weird shit, i cant remember much, free beer ruined my memory.Highlight was apparently me smoking too much and passing out behind the merch desk then waking up covered in Los Destructos stickers (about 20 of them) and trying to talk even though one was over my mouth. I decided it was time for bed. Next day we had off, so we just stayed in Flensburg, drank, smoked blah blah blah. Did get to jam and learnt an Oi Polloi cover (Nuclear Waste) with Ole from Kassiopeia on guest guitar.

So next day was, emmmm, somewhere else in germany. It was Bremen. Emmm, I cant remember Bremen. Weird. AHHHHHH, I REMEMBER!!!! It was in a real nice club/youth centre next to a skate park

Was a good gig with us on last I believe, and the Koas Punks fucking loved it. Even dedicated "crash your car" to some guy who had tried hitchhiking from london to Ullapool once. Poor guy. But yeah, good gig. Wasn't too drunk, but really stoned, so went to some all night pub then to bed in some guys flat. Got breakfast at an anarcho punk caf, was really good.

Then, hanover (yuck). It was okay, the place. But the venue wasn't too nice. Really evil looking kaos punks looked like they just wanted to bite our heads off. did find a Voice of Aggression sticker in the toilet which was weird, since well, until then, none of the members of VOA had ever been to Germany, let alone that place. Its cool. Anyway, only first two bands could play outside on the big stage befoe the cops turned up. So us and Los Destructos had to play inside in a tiny fuckign room which could only hold about 20 ppl, and the pothers watched from the balcony. There was some crazy drugged up girl who kept telling us how much she loved us and wanted to marry us. So afterwards, went to a swquat where I smoked three bongs and thought I was dead, until someone stuck on Wolfbrigade - In Darkness You Feel No Regrets LP. SO I listened to that, then went to bed. Threw away my lenses in a stoned haze though so next morning I couldn't see a thing and Roddy (vox of Fighting COugars) had to escort me around and help me find breakfast.

Then halle. Only got one crate of free beer, and only 8 ppl payed in, but there was quite a few koas punks there regardless who liked it. We got so FUCKING drunk by buying our own crates and invented the 'Grind-Box'. Like a beat box, but grindcore style. YAS. Yeah, I was drunk, I think it was 6 AM when I went to bed. We were drinking Sternberg, which i found out gives you the worst hangover ever. All fo us were like zombies in the morning.

OKay, so then onto Dresden. 1 of the minibuses had to go back to Berlin, so we crammed about 7 people in the back of the van. But then the cops pulled us over. didnt really do much, but only 6 of us could get back in the van and the others had to get a train to Dresden. But got there, free beer. Sternberg though, but fuck it. We drank it. Got Excepotionally drunk, I shat in the bushes, played naked, rapped, stood naked on a tabl;e with Roddy, passed out outside, Roddy pissed on my leg and we played live Buckaroo with some passed out fat bastard. hehehehe.

Last gig was next day in Berlin, which was a crazy festival. Some fucking nutcase English poets were on, and it was shite. Then some 50 year olds who though they were rock gods went on before us, They were shite as well. So then we played. And everyone loved us. Dying for some punk rock. Was ace. "All hippies should hang". So again, got really drunk, I walked about in a gimp mask and then some old girl took a liking to me. I ended up at hers doing tyhe obvious then left the next morning and sat by the van for 3 hours, tripping, until someone picked me up.

Next 2 days were kinda boring, days off, getting drunk and stoned, but last day was ace. Went to see Tronn from Brazil got so fuckign drunk, took some Danish travellers back to the squat,. got stopped by the police, LOTS of police, liek we were the mafia or something.

Now Im back home.

YIPPEE

[toiletbag]

I'm in it for the terrible jokes shared between your pals on terrible long distance drives to terrible gigs.

Sigh.