Dan G

I'll keep my depraved fantasies to myself the day you keep your twattish comments to yours.

Would Cb minor not be just Bminor...?

To be honest I would say I far prefer James' voice. Bruce has got the 'better' voice, more range and operatic and all that, but consequently I don't think it's as versatile as Hetfield's. Hetfield's voice is cool as fuck. Murray vs hammett? I've always preferred Hammet's solos on records, these days he doesn't impress me at all. Heard him attempt the Blackened solo on the Frantic single B-side? Its a disgrace. I love both Maiden and Metallica, but to me Metallica have always been 'cooler'...but now they are actually trying to BE cool, they're not. Where as Maiden aren't trying to be anything except good old maiden. Which makes them cool.

Like Ron Jeremy ten seconds before a money shot...you are all destined to come. So please do.

Ha ha! The jokes on you... I had my Whale shark injection-for-life years ago!!!! You silly poopy jobby bum poo.

I thoroughly agree... though having said that, what I am trying to do at the moment is experiment with chords that sound really beautiful within heavy songs. Chords that sound beautiful and melodic without sounding either happy or sad. If you play a song starting with an A minor or a Dminor, its gonna sound sad. I you play a song that starts with an E or G or D major etc, its gonna sound happy. However if you mix sus2 and 7th chords you can get some ace sounding stuff. For example when playing in the key of Eminor, if a Csus2: e------ b------ g--7-- d--5-- a--3-- e------ and variation of Gmaj7: e------ b--7---- g--7-- d--5-- a------ e------ are played on separate guitars, its sounds awesome; as the major/suspended sound of the Csus2/gmaj7 contrasts with the sad E minor key. I know it sounds geeky and all that shit, but if it sounds good, whats the problem!

?( A herring is a fish. *Slaps with fish*

That isn't an add9, its just a G. For it to be a G add9 there would have to be an A note in there somewhere.

The first works out as a G6 (but with no 5th) And Ian is right with the Dsus2

And if not what are they. Actually What are your favourite 3 bands in Aberdeen? I'm interested to see who the atom fans are also into as far as Aberdeen scene goes...

It looks disgraceful. I've seen it many a time. Costs about a grand I think. It probably sounds decent, though a single pick up wouldn't tempt me in the slightest. I really wouldn't understand why anyone would want to buy this, as anyone into heavier music that would fit the guitars image should buy something cool like a Gibson Explorer, A washburn Dimebag, a Jackson or a BC Rich Warlock. (or if you're like me, all of them.... )

What are they: Here are some nice ones: I make it a D9sus4 (is that right?) Works well in the key of Eminor. e---0----- B---3----- G---0----- D---4----- A---5----- E---x------ I think this is C#9. Used in dream theater's 'Take the Time'. Lovely. e---0----- B---0----- G---8----- D---6----- A---4----- E---x------ This one I made up myself and the chord position can be used anywhere and moved about the fretboard. This would be used as the A# chord (VI) in the key of Dminor. It sounds beautiful. I think its an A#7sus2. e---5----- B---6----- G---5----- D---8----- A---x----- E---x------

Petrified prawns are heavy! I'd say they were very Use your illusion II. I can't remember the other ones that well so I would say they were pretty Gillan era Black Sabbath. hehe...

The best way to anaylse the atom's heaviosity would be to use flavours of crisp as a guideline. For example, Paprika pringles would be the ultimate in heaviness, whereas worcester sauce flavoured walkers, or a packet of 10p tangy toms would be far less heavy. I'd say atom were at least as heavy as rib and saucy nik naks, if not as heavy as flamin' monster munch!

There's one thing he can't do though... Sell tap-dancing dinosaurs to Venezuelan flapjack salesmen. hahaha, Len, you're crap.

NO it didn't actually happen. Although I'm sure it has happened to someone.

Indeed, as are tritone chords that stack minor thirds!

What do you get if you cross an old black atom song with an even older Granny-pleasing 'comedian'? Des O' Lation What does the most epic Black Atom song, and Egon Spengler's job have in common? They're both Chasing Ghosts. Why did the black atom guitarist get wet in the rain? Because he forgot to wear his large mac. What do you get if you cross a black atom guitarist and the company that the Ultimate Warrior was a former employee? The World Rassling Federation. What is the black atom drummer's favourite religious period? Len-t What do you call a metal band that enjoys eating food during irregular times of the day? Snack Atom What do you call a metal band that does lots of drugs? Smack Atom What do you call a metal band that does even more drugs? Crack Atom (this type of joke could go on forever so I will stop) Whats the difference between Black Atom and a cow pat? Black atom aren't shit. (unless they were called Cack Atom...) Whats the difference between Black Atom and a vacuum cleaner? You cant switch a black atom to 'suck mode' and pretend its a lady's rude bits and consequently get your penis stuck in it and then have to go to the hospital when I was 15.

I did that one last time I'm afriaid!

Uh...Id' agree with both Mac and Rass on this subject. Rass has a very Kill Em All-all-hell-breaks-loose kind of approach to the old guitar solo. Mac has a more thought-out blues/metal approach in a number of the beast meets the black album style.

Why was the dentist rubbish at putting in fillings? Because he kept Losing the T®ooth. What is Black Atoms computer of choice? An Apple Mac. Mary Thompson, or M.T. as she was known to her friends, was walking down the street with her friends Betty, and Susie. Susie spots an attractive member of the opposite sex and says to Betty; "Look at him, he's so hot!" At which point betty replies (wait for it) "You can't go out with him, that's M.T.'s guy!" (empty sky) What is the most Heavy Metal fruit? A Rassberry Why was the little girl Scared? Because the bass player in Black Atom had just made her jump out of her-skin! How many members of Black Atom does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they live in the dark because they're metal. How many members of Black Atom would it take to change a lightbulb if they were at someone else's house? All 6 of them, because they are damn good looking. Knock knock. Who's there? Joe. Joe who? Joe, the singer from black atom. I left my keys here and got locked out. Can I come in please Mac? Why is the drummer from Black Atom generous? Because he always Len's you money.

Sorry. What do you call the guy who holds the bass guitar in an Aberdeenshire based metal band? Erskine Hope that satisfies you like a home made meal after a blowjob.

Who's this stripey character? He sounds like he has sex with men. Or boys. What a child toucher.

Which MacDonalds burger plays guitar? Big Mac. What do ill heavy metal drummers drink to make themsleves better? Len sip. What do the atom fans say when they are being annoyed by Non educated delinquants? Jo away or I'll kick your Rass. Why did Mr yellow and Mr Green beat up Mr pink? Because Mr pink threw Mr black at 'em. What do you call the bass player in an Aberdeenshire based metal band? Erskine (ok, I didn't even try with that one) What ares the most metal days of the year? The Last Day of each month. Why was the Blind man feeling Down? Because he had just Fallen, after slipping on a little Bitter ice. Why did the men not attend the boxing match? Because the Fight (was) Not Won, but two times further away than they originally thought.

I think I might be there.... I think.