Alan Cynic Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 Why thank you, Jake!!!I heard on the radio this morning that a new ape was discovered.....you weren't spotted out and about by an anthropologist, by any chance? (there REALLY was a new ape discovered!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tav Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 LMAO This thread...good....so good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted October 8, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 Next week I shall post up photos of the inside of my house and also show you my medical records Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 My love life is becoming hilarious' date=' almost Spinal Tap! Saw her on Sunday, she said "we should definately meet for lunch next week". I emailed her on Wednesday, never heard a thing since! [/quote']Maybe you misheard her, and what she actually said was she "must have meat for lunch next week". She's maybe been trying vegetarianism and is now sick of it?E-mail her again and tell her you've got some rump steak....that'll do the trick!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.Tim Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 As if I would sink so low.....I expect an ape-ology from you' date=' Jake, man(drill) to man(drill)!!Or are you too (chimp)pansy to do it? There would be a lot of blood and gore(illa).I doff my cap(uchin) to Hog in his shagging endeavours. My natural sloth keeps me from doing the same.[/quote']HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 Don't encourage him, Timson. Please don't encourage him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tav Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 Next week I shall post up photos of the inside of my house and also show you my medical records I look forward to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 It's the X-Rays of Hog's innards I'm waiting for, make no bones about it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 I'm sure you're all eagerly awaiting the video diary of his forthcoming colonic irrigation, you revolting curtain twitchers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tav Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 I saw the trailer...hawt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.Tim Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 hog, we need info ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted October 16, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2004 Could be worse.... Could have a kid on the way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted October 16, 2004 Report Share Posted October 16, 2004 Could be worse.... Could have a kid on the way! Can you be absolutely certain you don't? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted October 16, 2004 Report Share Posted October 16, 2004 Can Hog still play if he's pregnant? Do they do maternity guitars in Mothercare?I'm not sure if we should mention a sucklin' Hog? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted October 16, 2004 Report Share Posted October 16, 2004 He has a slight Guinness Gut, but it has nothing on my Blackthorn Belly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted October 16, 2004 Report Share Posted October 16, 2004 I think mine is either a Pint or Pasta-Pot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted October 17, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2004 Can Hog still play if he's pregnant? Do they do maternity guitars in Mothercare?I'm not sure if we should mention a sucklin' Hog? I could get a curved guitar to snugly fit my stomach! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted October 17, 2004 Report Share Posted October 17, 2004 Just watch that your lactating nipples don't drip on the pick-ups.(urghhh.....did I REALLY type that?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted October 17, 2004 Report Share Posted October 17, 2004 Good old Alan, the Jimmy Tarbuck of the boards. Absolutely appalling jokes, but a strangely lovable charactor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted October 17, 2004 Report Share Posted October 17, 2004 I could start a chain of shops selling bad jokes!!!! Hmmm.....what to call it though?......................................................................................................................................................................................... Tarbucks!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted October 17, 2004 Report Share Posted October 17, 2004 No! Fuck's sake. I reckon you should go on Pro-celebrity golf and resurrect Winner Takes All. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted October 17, 2004 Report Share Posted October 17, 2004 Never been a fan of golf...........amateur football (division 5) was my sport. That or tiddlywinks, but I don't know if there are any professional tiddlywinkers out there (or any celebrity ones either...........do any Spike/Element chaps tiddle a mean wink?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted October 17, 2004 Report Share Posted October 17, 2004 I challenge you to a game of tiddlywinks. I will fucking murder you! I also challenge you to a post-gig game of chess on the 6th of November, if you can supply the board and pieces. I will be a pawn star.*uses appalling joke before Alan can* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted October 18, 2004 Report Share Posted October 18, 2004 You bastard!!!! How dare you usurp my "bad-joke" position of power!!!!Your challenge will be met (the tiddlywink one, as I can't play chess...I can't think too far in advance...hence my life). Which 'knight' suits you best? ( one when you're not too busy 'beating the bishop'). I'll be taking it seriously, so none of your cracks (or, as we call them, Bobby Fissures). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted October 18, 2004 Report Share Posted October 18, 2004 How about a post-gig tiddlywink warm-down on the 6th of Novembor? Drake's is open til 1, though I'll have to stop when, not if, I get too pissed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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