Guest Scorge Spike Posted March 25, 2005 Report Share Posted March 25, 2005 'Look everyone, I can post a link!' This is probably the funniest thing i've seen since I observed my ex-girlfriend fall off a bike and split her head open, the fucking cow. Highlights include:'We will issue a 99p coin to save on change.''Tax credits will be paid to nice people. There will be a total bastard tax for everyone else.''We intend to make free university tuition available to all students named Grant.''We will replace the House of Lords with the House of Cards, to make it easier for the Government to deal with.''Traffic wardens will be re-named Dick Turpin because, lets face it, its daylight robbery.''All fast food will be clearly labelled May contain traces of real food.''We will raise the old age pension to 2,000 a week for every pensioner who, for a period of more than 6 days, manages not to bore everyone witless about how brilliant their grandchildren are. To ease the transition period, special centres will be built where they may go once a week and rattle on about them. Unemployed people will be paid a Bore Allowance of 27-50 a day to sit in front of them pretending to give a damn and saying Mmm, how interesting and Really, well I never and other statements as determined by the government. Tea and biscuits will be provided and the Samaritans will be on hand to council any of the Bore Allowance volunteers.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zeenat Aman Posted March 25, 2005 Report Share Posted March 25, 2005 This is probably the funniest thing i've seen since I observed my ex-girlfriend fall off a bike and split her head open' date=' the fucking cow. [/quote'] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue Denim.. Posted March 26, 2005 Report Share Posted March 26, 2005 Strangely enough, I was a fully paid up member of the Loony Party for 3 years and it's amazing the good they have actually done.Did you know that the currently used 'Passports for Pets' was a Loony policy before being adopted by mainstream politicians? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ben_1903 Posted March 26, 2005 Report Share Posted March 26, 2005 hahaha i love the monster raving loonies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cloud Posted March 26, 2005 Report Share Posted March 26, 2005 'Tax credits will be paid to nice people. There will be a total bastard tax for everyone else.'*dies laughing* Just the thought of seeing "TOTAL BASTARD : 20.54" on a payslip has got me in fits Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted March 26, 2005 Report Share Posted March 26, 2005 This is probably the funniest thing i've seen since I observed my ex-girlfriend fall off a bike and split her head open' date=' the fucking cow. [/quote']Actually, that's probably the funniest thing I've ever seen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scorge Spike Posted March 26, 2005 Report Share Posted March 26, 2005 Did you know that the currently used 'Passports for Pets' was a Loony policy before being adopted by mainstream politicians?I did indeed. I don't have the funds for membership, but I did ged one of the campaign posters as a birthday present once, it probably still adorns the wall of my bedroom back at the parents house (unless they've turned it into a dining room in my absence yet). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachie Posted March 26, 2005 Report Share Posted March 26, 2005 I was going to join a couple years back.I actually ran as a "candidate" in my school's mock election during the last general election. I think I came 2nd, beaten only by the tories, who only won because they blackmailed all the 2nd years into voting for them. That was great fun. Especially the mock-debate we did, everyone else was being so serious and I just got to utterly take the piss because I was representing the Loonies!Interesting fact: The "passport for pets scheme" was actually originally the Loonie's idea, and was scoffed at by Westminster. As soon as new Labour came into power... oh look, it's a law now!Any student who says the word Like when not grammatically called for, as in, Hey, Im .. Like, going down the like, pub, or, I was, like, dont do that will be made to go and stay with George Bush for a week in order to discourage them from other stupid Americanisms. Har! My mum would love that one...Pram lanes will be created in all shopping centresPlease god... yes...All WMDs (weapons of Mass Distraction) will be made highly visible so that we can find them.Indeed... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted March 31, 2005 Report Share Posted March 31, 2005 This is probably the funniest thing i've seen since I observed my ex-girlfriend fall off a bike and split her head open' date=' the fucking cow.[/quote']This is the funniest thing I am ever likely to see anywhere. Punk rock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scorge Spike Posted March 31, 2005 Report Share Posted March 31, 2005 This is the funniest thing I am ever likely to see anywhere. Punk rock.Aye, in retrospect it probably was.Oh, and welcome back. These boards have been fucking boring without your acerbic writings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nikki Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 Pretty amusing!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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