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I go to The Barbers Pole on King St usually. 8.50 a cut. Nothin' fancy but the hair removal is adequately performed.

Used to go there too, they're efficient and effective if you don't want anything complicated due to impending baldness

I really hated FGF. It has a few funny scenes, the bit when he's playing the piano with the strings tied to his fingers and sausages on the other end, that bit was funny.

That bit had me in tears for about 10 minutes, it's that genuinely funny and ridiculous.

But the rest, as you say, is a bit meh.

Yeah. My girlfriend chose it. Admittedly, that one wasn't that good. I mean it was creamy and smooth and lovely - but it tasted of custard...

It's time to get a new girlfriend if she's picking you custard!

(frosties flavoured milkshake sounds even worse :/)

You tried a custard flavour milkshake?!

It can be done, it's just money.

The overseas information service can access criminal records abroad.

The problem is that they might not know where to look. If someone declares that they've been working in Poland for two years (with a seemingly kosher reference) but they were actually locked up in Germany, how would anyone know?

And what about crimes committed by Brits abroad?

I heard recently that at primary school sports days, the parents aren't allowed to bring cameras any more, in case someone is taking photos of the kids in their shorts to sell on to paedos, or to take home and crack one off over. It's fucking crazy. The media's got everybody in such a panic it's like parents want all schools to be surrounded by 20 foot fences and barbed wire, because everybody outside the fence might want to shag their kids.

Yup, all the while trusting the grandad who lost his wife a few years back and who definitely wouldn't go touching the child when he's left there overnight. After all, who's going to believe the kid that the grandad was touching him in the night? And this is the real problem.

I was reading recently that men just don't want to become primary school teachers because they're almost automatically assumed to be a paedo - what with the lack of male influences in primary schools to begin with, this can't be a good thing!

The infamous Scott Simpson case was a classic example of where the media whipped everyone into mass hysteria, yet no-one ever criticised the parents for letting a child of 9 with learning difficulties go to the park unsupervised.

Some of the tales coming out are really sad as well, I was reading online about a report of a father who was getting dirty looks from people because he took his daughter swimming.

It's true. I'm almost afraid to talk to or even look at children these days in case I get branded a paedophile by some pitchfork-wielding Sun reader. It's ridiculous really. You can't even make silly faces at a kid in a buggy in the queue at Asda without someone eyeing you suspiciously.

You know, this hit home to me a few weeks ago. I was on a bus and some kid was making a silly noise. So I copied him while keeping an absolutely straight face. The kid laughed and did it in return, so I copied him again. Repeat for about ten minutes. The mother was laughing, other people were smiling (except the obligatory old git) and everyone was amused.

But I wouldn't dare in the UK now. It's sad

The CRB checks and new ISA checks would be fine well if they were based on common sense. But seeing as all sorts of allegations can find their way onto your 'file' - what's the point in any volunteering if a malicious kid can claim 'paedo' and ruin your career?

Fair enough, children need to be protected - but adults need to be protected too.

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Kanye West in MTV outburst

Even Obama called him a jackass, which is pretty crushing...

He was the best bit about that film. With all his happyhappy positivity, then it turns out he porks kids. What a twist.

He was brilliant in Donnie Darko, just because he played it almost perfectly. Mind you, the whole scene in the school between him and Donnie was perfection.

I made the most amazing spaghetti bolognaise today.

Started off frying some onions for 2 minutes, then threw in the mince. Fried the mince for 3 minutes until it was brown all over, then added freshly chopped tomatoes. Cooked that for about 10 minutes, then chucked in pepper and some herbs (don't ask what the herbs are, I don't know!) along with sea salt. Covered it and left it for about 25 minutes, stirring frequently. During one of the stirring sessions, a meat stock cube and some Knorr cube thing was thrown in too.

Absolutely wonderful, and ten times better than any store bought sauce rubbish.

The secret? The tomatoes had been left in the open air for about a week before using them.

Any suggestions (Chris, I'm looking at you!) for something that can be cooked using white wine? I've got half a bottle of wine here that I don't want and might as well use for something other than cleaning the toilet.

To the ignorant bystander it may perhaps look like that, but there's lots of live glitching, effects and other weird noises added live to keep things interesting.

So the playlist *is* pre-compiled?

What about the jack daniels at 1.50 just on Friday? also will they have those prices for any gigs held on those days??

Aha, missed that Jack on Fridays, that's surely illegal.

And they must have to hold the prices for gigs on those days too, which would surely eat into their profit..

Better be careful the licensing board don't get wind of these prices, what with the 72 hour rule for drinks prices.

Surely it would be fine, as long as the Friday/Saturday price was the same on Sundays and the Thursday price the same as Tuesday and Wednesday?

I think that the number of teams in the next Euros is increased to 24, if we can't qualify for that we should just give up.

Shouldn't be a problem to do so, but I'm no fan of 24 teams qualifying out of 53 - what's the point? The nice thing about these World Cup qualifiers is the way that virtually every group is wide open and some big teams like France, Croatia and the Czech Republic might not qualify - but 24 teams is just going to make sure that the 'big' teams always qualify, which is shit and pointless.

Isn't it where someone poses after pressing 'play' on their already-compiled playlist?

Brilliant piece of TV to watch (everyone here that I've shown it to has been impressed!) - but it was just simple camera trickery in the end.

Watch this -

Scroll to 5:37 in, then watch the leftmost ball as close as you can. You can see the leftmost ball moving up - it's slow enough to catch with the eye without using slow-mo,

Brilliant to use such a simple deception and yet get everyone talking about it!

The reason for using the word compulsary is because the way it stands at the moment the CRB check only covers time in the UK and the employer is then responsible for contacting the overseas information service to obtain the police records from that country. However this is not mandatory and is therefore not done. I am petitioning for the government to make this check compulsary and not up to the employer.

The problem is - which countries do you check? Someone could live in Poland and be locked up in Germany' date=' yet this wouldn't show on a Polish records check. Polish criminal records checks also only show the last 10 years regardless of the severity of the crime - even raping a child wouldn't show up if it was committed more than 10 years ago. So there's another huge loophole - and there's nothing that anyone can do about it.

Or a Maltese person could have abused several children as a minor (under 21 years old) and yet come up clean on their criminal records check as it's not allowed for them to list any crimes that occured as a minor.

The whole loophole of not having data just shows the entire CRB system to be a total mess from start to finish.

would imagine (but I don't know, so don't shout at me) that most people working in a nursery/school/special needs area/or just anyone who may be considered vunerable would need to have a full UK work permit and as such would have been vetted before they were allowed to work in such a capacity. Same goes for people working in a position of authority or trust.

Most EU nationals don't need a work permit, and while the A8 countries need to be registered under the WRS, this is nothing but a statistical formality. They definitely don't do any police checks when applying for the Worker Registration Scheme. Bulgarians and Romanians still need a work permit, but this will change soon. People from the original 15 can just walk in freely and work tomorrow, no questions asked.

Incidentally, for genuinely sensitive positions, they're restricted to UK born individuals only who have never lived abroad. Baggage handlers aren't particularly important - they get screened thoroughly, just as everyone else.

I can't believe I've just wasted half an hour typing this up!

You could've just summed it up as "got pissed and played gigs"

Aye, know some people who practice there, will try. I'm sure there was something about Teabags putting on gigs there and them getting shut down or summat.

The problem with down there is that it's one thing to put on gigs where everyone is inside the place at a certain time, doors closed and the general public aren't invited, but another thing to put on gigs that are advertised freely and having people coming/going freely and so on.

Cheers min (Hog, too!)

I didn't include you because I refuse to believe that I've seen the Kitchen Cynics for the last time

Ooo..

Real Shocks

King Liar and the Brutes (will always hold a special place in my heart for singing Ted DiBase's theme)

Small Enclosed Area

Dedalus (first incarnation)

I'd also charge 20 quid, lock the doors after the first band goes on and have a free bar. Could only really work in Drakes, but would be bloody good fun.

Dedalus - Steven and Rob used to come into One Up when I was doing Sonic Deth Monkey at drakes and I offered them a gig. Apart from a dodgy joy division cover I really liked them and they mentioned they were looking for another guitarist. We played epic post-punk stuff not too dissimilar to Interpol and Editors I guess and coulda made a go of it, only we were all pretty unorganised. Played an ace gig in Inverness. Also played the first Gavfest, Steven was so drunk he fell off the stage. Footage of this was rediscovered and will be appearing on youtube soon.

I still remeber the gig in the back room of Moshulu and being absolutely enchanted by Dedalus then. Epic is an overused word, but it definitely fits here. One of my all time favourite Aberdeen bands

2005-2007 YOUR OWN DISASTER - A poor mans Stayover. A VERY poor man. Played guitar and yelped.

One of your songs actually had quite a decent guitar hook in it, if I remeber rightly

Volvo Death Spell - 2006

After an emergency call was put out by Stroszek after their singer came down with a dodgy throat on the eve of a Friday night gig in Drummonds, I answered the call and saved the day. What followed was 25 minutes of 'improvised music' in which we caused most of the audience to leave, Les playing guitar with his pint (bought halfway through our only 'song', Doug shouting Alan Partridge quotes at outraged punters who actually paid to listen to it, me getting told that I was a shit singer (despite not singing and just ranting into the microphone about how no-one understood us and how we were the future of music) and just generally pissing absolutely everyone off in the place.

For some reason, we didn't get paid and got banned from Drummonds

Never felt the need to go on stage after that for some reason.

Your right, but we're not allowed to leave them sitting out, looks untidy and people apparently steal heaps to use as pooper scoopers, if it was up to me they could take as many as they liked to do as they please.

Or more accurately : it costs money.

The supermarkets have absolutely loved the whole war on carrier bags - what better excuse to cut down on them and save money? The whole signs saying "it's for environmental reasons" is clearly absolute bullshit.

Funnily enough, if Tesco were so concerned about the environment, why are carrier bags plentiful and free to take at all Tesco supermarkets here?

Gah, Sorensen's form has been driving me mad, he's my sub and although Cech is fantastic for easy 6 points (the way Chelsea are playing this season, it'll be solid 1-0 wins the whole way), he's not racking them up in the way that Sorensen is doing.

Rooney as captain seems to be a sensible choice this season though, Man Utd are heavily relying on him (at least at the moment) to score goals and with him as captain, he's good for 12+ points a game.

Just need to ditch Carrick and Carragher (though Liverpool's dodgy form will surely improve, so thinking twice there...) and get some reliable point scorers in and I'm set.