Emperor Bokassa I

Good point. Owners also need to watch out for the condition of the folded band information sheet. It is printed on very poor, cheap paper and if not given proper treatment could well perish.

Sam, for God's sake that kind of talk will get us dropped from the Christing label, is that what you want? Gatsby is as gentle as a baby's shit and as honest as a dead dog. Know this and believe it. For shame.

5! What a deal!

Don't waste my time.

Definitely from Ythanbank. Being from Methlick I can sense these things.

Every Donside band thanks every one of your souls.

Sweet Christ Fudge, what do you think we pay you for?

He should not be confused with his brother Crisp Robinson. He used to be in Psycho-a-g-go. Imagine if all three were united?

The compilation is going to b ein one-up in the next few days. I think it'll be a fiver. You'll love it.

Masculine Intent know no fear and love all knowledge.

I don't think its a typo, coz his surname's Robertson not Robinson. It would seem to be a deliberate name reconfiguration in order to achieve humour.

The night was non-ironic fool. Accept it. You owe Donside everything.

Silence.

In fact, you're both right. This will be the night of your lives.

Tonight! Dr Drakes! 3 only! Donside Records Compilation Release Extravaganza No.1! Doors open at 8pm then catch: Bill Ely and the Catnips - 8.15 - 8.45 - Like some terrible cajun wind sweeping in from the West curing all diseases it encounters. Guaranteed to stagger you and possibly bring temporary visual paralysis. Diuretics - 9.00 - 9.30 - These kids know how to rock and they intend to make sure you don't forget it. So don't. Broken Sunshine - 9.45 - 10.15 - Melody loving punk starlets intent on driving a dagger of light into your dead heart. King Liar and the Brutes - 10.45 - 11.15 - Europe's Final Band push themselves to the limits every day that they breath air. Tonight will be no different. PLEASE: no flash photography, it could trigger mania and inevitable crowd disfigurement. Plus! Special guest DJs Samtex, Bloodlust and No-Way playing every hit-track that you are dieing to hear. 15 track "Compilation Ultra" on-sale throughout the night for precisely 4, featuring the fastest bands from the Western Hemisphere. Do not get carried away

You'll take a lager though?

He speaks the truth. There will be no Vomitus on the 14th. As I understand it "Thoth" suffers from a very rare and acute condition which means he has to carry around a very small and very powerful artificial heart in a rucksack just to keep alive. On the 14th it must be refueled.

My heartfelt plea to members of The Beast Wing who may have gained Internet access in some terrible twist of fate is, please don't turn up on Wednesday the 14th disgruntled and hepped up on drugs and proceed to defecate on stage. Just please.

Every one of those 15 professionally recorded tracks is like a sugar-coated shotgun blast to the head, motherfucker. Every band on there plays as hard as they can whenever they can. Which is always, OK?

Doesn't the CD also contain destructo-core trio The Beast Wing? Performing live with a one-stringed bass, an over-wrought drummer and a sex-accountant for a singer? I thought as much. But seriously, this CD can be yours and yours alone. Your individual copy that is. Other people will have their own copies. They won't be yours. Unless your friend has one and maybe lends it to you for a while.

The EP plays fast. Like a drug.

I remember when Sam was the Psycho manager, he used to come on stage and rant during Hot Dang In the City. Dave Dixon once gave me a slice of his pizza. I ate it.

14th April Dr. Drakes DONSIDE Records sampler launch night extravaganza! Featuring: King Liar and The Brutes Vomitus (if Sir Rimmon's arm heals) Broken Sunshine The Diuretics Bill Ely and The Catnips

All apologies. I have a follow up question regarding the discrepancy between the image of Rimmon on the Vomitus website and the physical representation which I witnessed on the fateful Sunday. What's the deal with that? Where was Rimmon's microphone headset? And unholy, demonically charged chainmail?

Thank God for you Rory. I'm particularly interested in Rimmon the Powerful's terrifying vocal manifestation, has it been augmented by technology in any way? Or perhaps by an experimental psy-drug? Could you ask him and report back to his fans straight away?