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The 101 Rules Of Prog Metal


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:laughing:

Superb, where do you find this shit????

I particularly enjoyed :

All of the top 20 - you could just follow the link cos there are heaps but the following were the best of the rest

21. Humming along with the melody to a prog metal song is forbidden. Burn all albums you own with hum-along melodies.

35. Don`t worry about if your band name makes any sense or not. Since 90% of your fanbase is from Brazil and Japan, you can safely ignore conventional English grammar and instead focus on whats really important: The lyrics (see rule 36).

36. Write deep and ambiguous lyrics.

38. Use a non-standard instrument like violin, saxophone or kazoo, regardless of how idiosyncratic it turns out to be. This constitutes being prog.

51. Tool is NOT prog. If anyone insists they are, kill them.

73. Play air-drums or air-guitar at concerts. This will make sure that other prog fans recognize your immense talent.

And what a finish :

98. Have side-projects. Make sure that all side-projects consist of pointless jamming over endless repetitions of clicheed riffs.

99. Make sure that at least one of your side-projects feature Mike Portnoy on drums.

100. If you cannot get Mike Portnoy, get someone who sounds like him.

101. You mean you have been reading this when you could have been practicing along to Metropolis Part II or composing a sidelong epic? For shame!!!! :D

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