discotron

The rain is mental today! It's the kind of rain you'd get in an american film when two people are having an argument outside/looking for a missing person.

I've heard a lot of bad reports about them being shit, but one of my friends got her tattoo done there and it's not bad. Nothing particularly spectacular, but the quality of the work was good.

Betty in the icer van out the front of my school used to sell single fags for 50p with a National Insurance Card or a blazer being an accepted form of ID.

Hazlehead by any chance? Betty was a legend.

My girlfriend served an Asian woman in her travel agents last week who's name was Sooky Cock. Spelt exactly like that,

An Asian woman used to come into my old work all the time who's name was Fook Yau. Watching my middle-aged prudish manager asking her name was an amusing thing to witness.

Bob seems a bit wide to be honest. Telling everyone that the correct way to eat food is from the back of your fork, not the front. Pardon? How are you meant to get a decent mouthful you muppet? Pfffft.

(I clearly have no class. Or just want to enjoy my food properly).

I work in Paramount (I know, not my ultimate choice of bar to work in), but they've started this new promotion where if you get a flyer for cheap drinks from any other pub/club, bring it to us and we'll match said promotion. The ploy reeks of desperation, but hey-ho. The only decision you have to make is where is better to enjoy said cheap beverages............(considering the options, I'd rather get a carry out........here's hoping my boss isn't a member here ?( )

Sharing a hotel room with a mate who doesn't so much snore as wake the fucking dead with an 18-wheeler's gearbox up each nostril. Jesus motherfucking Christ!

I am drunk and enjoy this post

Drug dealers,junkies and neds give Staffies a bad name.

They certainly do. My friend was on a bus one day, and a junkie was sitting at the front with said token junkie-dog. It decided to go for a meander up the aisle, only to be summoned back to it's owner by a nasal cry of 'TUPAC, C'MEEEEEEEERE!'

Love. It.

Being 26, I quite enjoy getting ID'd! Though if I got that nonsense from a security guard, I'd probably be a bit riled too............

The Jobcentre Plus website is a good shout too. There's quite a variety of vacancies on the go at the moment - definitely a good start until you find something more suited to what you're after.

Good luck!

Three things hacking me off at the moment:

MOTHS. I can't open my windows at night because of the bastards. And why the fuck are they so big nowadays?!

Loose Women. Too loud, inane chat about nothing.

My flatmate eating all my cheese and smoking my fags. Bint.

After 3am and the fucking seagulls can die.

Agreed. Noisy bastards. Plus its TOO FUCKING HOT TO SLEEP!

Jeremy Kyle. Amazing mink goodness.

'At the end of the day, right.............'

Who is your Daddy and what does he do?

Lidl. Lidl are BASTARDS. Total BASTARDS.

What gives, man? Why the crap don't they have hand-baskets? It's not the kind of place you can do your bigshop, because they just don't have the stock unless along with your Reshaped chicken, turkey and fishgut kievs and your frozen goat schnitzel you want to buy a frisbee, some wellington boots and a carjack... Being situated in Seaton, shoppers are made to feel criminalised, and you have to deposit a quid for a ruddy trolley. I didn't have any cash on me to secure my very own crime-free food prison, so I had to struggle with my own two mitts because this arsecandle of a supermarket doesn't have hand-baskets.

I grabbed as many things as I could manage, and then some; still missing a few items I needed to get... I made it to the checkouts in a sea of sweat. I thought I had heroicly made it over the finish line, and safety was only seconds away. As I put my last few items onto the belt, I dropped a bottle of steak sauce and a jar of big, fuck off, massive hotdogs that I was pretty excited about gnawing at tonight. Toshed. All over the floor. The hot dog jar was massive so it made a pretty impressive crashing sound. Everyones eyes are on me. The empoyees are yelling in Polish about how I'm probably a total crapsack, and for some poor soul to come out and clean it up who, I must add, was only supplied with some kitchen roll and a bucket. Poor show.

I didn't apologise though. I just huffed about how they should have handbaskets, because I'm brave.. What is even brave, is that I stepped back in to the store only a couple of hours later to get the items I couldn't manage, and also for the Hot Dogs that I really am pretty excited about. They are fucking massive. I had to buy baguettes to house them in because regular rolls are just too fucking PUNY!

So, there's my fearless tale about how Lidl are a bunch of shitclocks.

I think I love you. This post is fantastic.

I went to Hazlehead and there are certainly some interesting stories from there!

Me too.

Though not much really happened when I was there, apart from the headteacher shagging a guidance teacher.

Ghastly.

I really want a fucking steak now.

I know, I'm going to a mate's for dinner tonight - shouldn't have looked at this thread knowing I have 2 more hours to wait for food.............

Oh my shit, I actually have tears running down my face. Thank fuck I don't have access to this at work.

...and following on from that, bastards - and I do mean bastards - cant be arsed blowing their noses and just sniff constantly.

This pisses me off BIG time. I used to work with a woman who did this non-stop. I wanted to throw heavy things at her, stupid old bint.

Oh god, just looked at those links with a hangover - I think I need an ambulance.......

The new Diet Coke ad with Duffy singing in a weird helium-voice - GAH!

Just watched Pineapple Express for the first time.

Awful. Really awful.

I know, what a pile of shite.

Black album onwards is shite.

Agreed. (8 characters, my arse).

It may have gone shit, but at least they've finally managed to get rid of that potent smell of dead hoop that used to haunt the place when you walked past on Back Wynd.

That was horrendous.

God yeah, that was rank. I remember walking past it on the way to college, usually with the mother of all hangovers - uuuuuuurgh.

Yes! Spike!

The bobbing frog is there (nothing weird about it!), though time has certainly ravaged poor McPuddock's once youthful features. I mean how much is a tin of paint?!

McPuddock!

Years of schoolkids launching coppers at him in a bid to make him rise to the surface of the water probably hasn't helped much.