discotron

worst restaraunt = creperie jaques - shit owners, useless management, wank customers.

Agreed, I worked there for a bit too. What a shit-hole. I notice it's been 'closed for refurbishment' for a while now............

I definitely agree with the comments about the toilets - no locks on the doors, no toilet roll or lights in the majority of the cubicles.......not pleasant!

I wet my brush before I apply paste which I've been told is weird.

I'm actually washing away fecal particulate matter produced every time the toilet is flushed with the seat up and any of the other heinous things I imagine people doing with my toothbrush, even though I live on my own.

You can't be too careful!

Same! A woman I used to work with told me about an article she read about the particles and germs in the air, and it's given me the boke ever since.

My weirdest one occurs shortly after sitting in a queue of traffic at a traffic light...

If i'm a few cars back and i'm going through the lights when they are green, I always think to myself "If I don't see the lights turning amber i'm going to have a terrible day". So I slow the car down a tad, in the hope that I see them turning amber. If I see it, there's a mini-celebration in my head and I know i'm going to have a great day.

I do this too. For example if I'm walking along the street listening to music, I have to pass a certain car/gate/window before the end of a line in the song or I'm going to have a shit day.

Glad I'm not alone here!

I know you? Seriously, I have no fucking clue who you are.

Ahaha, brilliant. I'll tell you next time I see you. Or I might just carry on confusing you, it's quite amusing to my simple brain

Who - Teabags

Where - The Moorings

When - Monday night.

Waved at me briefly (after a boozy double-take) before trying to balance himself atop a barstool. Fantastic

Well saying "My flatmate is a rather unclean and selfish young lady" doesn't quite compare to "she's a grotty shit".

Too true, I agree with you here. Have you ever called your flatmate a grotty shit to her face? Did it work? I'm so close to doing so to my own grotty shit of a flatmate........

How is swearing pathetic? It's more pathetic to get wound up by it.

Agreed, there's nothing like a good fucking swear.

It's highly unlikely that she'd be on here, but I won't give away my workplace just in case.

Gah, she's a pain in the arse. We've overheard her on her phone and it's amazing how her voice changes when she thinks we can't hear her.

My manager's false sing-song voice - 'Hiiiiiiiiii, how are yoooooooou todaaaaaaaaaaaay?'

Fuck off you fake bitch - we all know you're really a minky, rough coke-snorting bint.

I fucking LOVED Cartoonies, and had completely forgotten about them until I saw this thread. Iced Gems were a bit shit.

The combination of Ken and The Highlander's userpic has had me chuckling for days.

To clarify, pre-rant, I work on the bar in a restaurant.

When you walk up to a big table with a tray of drinks, and rattle off the first drink, loudly, only to be faced with the following:

Me: Hi, who's having the diet coke?

Customer: Oh, that's Maureen's.

Me (to self): Who the fuck is Maureen?

At least give some pointy-gesture, or even better, make sure Maureen is paying attention when the fucking drinks arrive.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaah.

I don't know either of you that I know of.

Ooooh, the mystery.........................

Just out of interest, How does everyone here know who everyone else is? I only know John W cos I live with him and Teabags cos I always see him at the moorings...

Same. The only active members I know are Teabags, and another friend whos username I can't remember since it's after 4am on a Sunday.

This thread is like sweary-tourettes. Love it.

Cocknose

Take fucking That. If I hear Shine one more time I'm going to lose the plot.

Robbie Williams. He's a right wee fanny pad.

Agreed. Arrogant little shitbag. I want to hoof him clean in the bollocks.

I'm also a fan of the word bucketfud.

what is a sadflap?

A sadflap is someone who is a bit rubbish.

Sadflap.

I'm still wearing my work pinny (which acts as my pockets 38 hours a week) containing the following:

fags

lighter

chewing gum

phone

bar blade

lip balm

Exciting stuff!

I would love to have a go at Quake again, I loved that game! Got hold of the disc but it doesn't work on my laptop. Bastard.

Mine appears to be Tubeway Army - "Are 'Friends' Electric?", with one Gary Numan. I'll have to go have a listen.

Lucky you, that's a great song. Mine was 'Fame' by Irene Cara.

And on my 18th, it was '7 Days' by Craig David. Yeesh.

I have a feeling this thread has been done before.........