HeinzHines

Is @Cloud still in real Poland, when a lot of others also relocated to Poland's because of him. 

Like any good tradesman, you've arrived 9 years too late. 

3 hours ago, ca_gere said:

Things have evolved slightly... kettles are fairly widespread now. The stove top ones that whistle though. Electric kettles on the other hand are some buck rogers shit they don't even know about. I felt like I was on Tomorrow's World when I showed my wife some on amazon.

I just got an electric kettle this weekend in my part of Poland and the Polish wife is just amazed by it. 

3 hours ago, colb said:

I'd have thought that the lower voltages in American power supplies would make boiling water in an electric kettle take a long time? 

I timed mine (2 litre kettle) and takes exactly 5 mins for full boil. Which is incredibly slow for U.K. standard, but if I was heating up a huge pan of water here on the stove it would take about 30 fucking minutes to boil.

Yet not one of you moaning bastards would glass each other in a pub like a real man would. 

Yellow face, black face and a hitler 'tache, very confusing. 

1 hour ago, Lemonade said:

I know! The most upsetting thing is that once or twice its randomly started working again. And I quickly scramble to switch on my XBox One so it can update and I can actually use it, it gets about 60% through the update then it goes off again. Infuriating. If you don't work then just don't work, but don't give me false hope. I have a lot of useless tech in my house right now. 

First the potato famine, now this. Poland is destitute. 

20 minutes ago, Gypsum_Fantastic said:

Don't be blue, Peter.

NOW FUCK OFF

A fairly shite piece of satire made utterly amazing by the needless to say, I had the last laugh quote. 

37 minutes ago, Alkaline said:

Just go the whole roaster and take a shit in the urinal, that'll learn them.

What really pisses me off is that it turns hobby masturbation into a crime. 

1 hour ago, ca_gere said:

Pet hate right now is saying words here in Poland, not knowing that it doesn't exist and therefore people don't understand what I mean.

a few recent examples:

I made a joke about heroin being 'moreish' - got blank stares. Turns out moreish isn't a word in Polish English

Neither is 'Squint' - as in 'move that picture on the wall, it's squint'.

It was assumed when I said 'Kitchen Roll' that i wanted some sort of sandwich

Every time it happens I reflect on all of the occasions i've gotten a blank stare and wonder what they thought I was saying.

I've been in your Polish nation for last couple of months, albeit in the lower regions. And while I'm with you on polish to polish translations, my main pet hate here is still toilets with 2 inch gaps all around the door, the door which is also barely chest height, so if crack peeping isn't enough, just pop your head over for a good look. 

57 minutes ago, Lemonade said:

O'Deon.

O'Deon Dublin is a fantastic cinema and a fine footballer. 

13 hours ago, ca_gere said:

shhh!!

I've been tuning in for years. You're gonna spoil it.

I honestly can't wait for the episode he takes his first shower. 

6 hours ago, ca_gere said:

Nah, I've got boro in there

Yeah, Southampton is what I typed and it was an autocorrect mistake to Middlesunderlandboro for some reason...

1 hour ago, ca_gere said:

Fuck, i've got two sunderlands in there but i can't be hooped figuring out who i've forgotten. Second sunderland denotes whoever it is.

It's Middlesunderlandboro that you forgot. 

4 hours ago, kirsten said:

It's usually my go-to site and I've also gone straight to the airline through it (same with hotels and Expedia), but I seem to remember there being a website where you typed in your destination and it showed you which cities you can fly to there from that were cheapest. So it saved you looking up flights from your local airport and then just guessing nearby airports that it might be cheaper to fly from. 
I don't feel like I've just invented this, but maybe I didn't see someone on here mention it... If it is just some mental dream I've had, though, I'm going to make it a reality and become a billionaire.

It's probably just google flights you're after. 

40 minutes ago, Gypsum_Fantastic said:

 

This is getting silly. Geniunley thought you were referring to ROI there.

I was referring to the colloquial Poland, which in this case was the ROI and a fucking clever as fuck remark as Poland also qualified. A comment worthy of staggering accolades  

And obviously a triple banger as he meant Scotland.

6 hours ago, Lemonade said:

We'd still find a way to not qualify for it. 

I'm pretty sure Poland qualified. 

On 7 April 2016 at 1:45 PM, Richard Pictures said:

This belter from last year.

If that anecjoke had a couple of racially motivated slurs sprinkled in, it would be absolutely perfect. 

(if anecjoke has never been coined, I'm claiming it)

(I googled and some other cunts already have it as part of their lexicon, but not attached to something TRULY worthy of its use)

She sounds like the type of cunt who would sign up for tough mudder. 

eBay will have them for cheaper than £400 a pop.

I had a coat with 6 sleeves on it, it was a coat of arms.

I just assisted with the potential saving of a mans life!

I hope you said "everyone gets one" then fucked off.

People who comment on massively shared articles online... what do you hope to achieve?

Hashtag recognition.

Do you find it problematic ordering a turbo shandy in Poland?

You have to ask for a beer, brought to you in association with Smirnoff.