Flash@TMB

If you shot a bullet in the air, if all the variables are perfect, then you'd shoot yourself in the foot. The speed at which the bullet would fall to the ground would see to that, wouldn't it?

EDIT: forgot about the world turning. This is what happens when you read a post, post your own then realise you missed the next page of posts.

The world turning would have no effect as you would be turning with the world as would the bullet as it left the gun, as would the air around it. The world actually turns at a fair old lick (the circumference of the earth in 1 day), so we know this is true because if we jump up in the air we land in the same place!

Air friction and gravity would slow the bullet down until it stopped. At this point the bullet might start to tumble over 180 degrees due to aerodynamics. The bullet would then accelerate in the other direction, probably to around 120mph before gravity was offset by air resistance.

If all variables were perfect (gun held exactly vertical, zero wind, perfectly formed bullet) then the bullet would re-enter the gun barrel (although possibly pointing the other way round).

Unless you farted and moved the gun.

Fucking hell - I think someone in Poland just hacked into my aberdeen-music account. Do you think it could have been Cloud?

Can you express the answer via the fundaments of string theory?

Are we talking 10 or 11 dimensional space here? I need to know to handle the p-brane computations:

String theories include objects more general than strings, called branes. The word brane, derived from "membrane", refers to a variety of interrelated objects, such as D-branes, black p-branes and Neveu-Schwarz 5-branes. These are extended objects that are charged sources for differential form generalizations of the vector potential electromagnetic field. These objects are related to one-another by a variety of dualities. Black hole-like black p-branes are identified with D-branes, which are endpoints for strings, and this identification is called Gauge-gravity duality. Research on this equivalence has led to new insights on quantum chromodynamics, the fundamental theory of the strong nuclear force.

Now I hope I made that explanation simple enough that you can fathom it.

This particular eventuality calls for Aramaic.

Or Klingon.

To how many decimal places? Or would you prefer it expressed as a fraction or should one simply omit the modulus and simply round to the nearest whole number?

Henceforth, forthwith, in as much as albeit not to cascade to me your informed information.

In which unit of time and calendar format would you prefer the answer? But I must warn you in advance that my Mayan is a tad rusty these days.

That being so, I'd like to know how long it takes to get from Auschwitz to Birkenau on a horse.

You failed to specify precisely how many legs the horse has. But I think I can ascertain your intended meaning and will therefore proceed to patronise you never the less. Notwithstanding that you may choose to edit the glaring schoolboy omission out of your original question posted above. Ergo my expert status on this forum is further enhanced.

Scene points please.

Actually, it would solve a lot of problems round here if the Poles just cut his fingers off. At least until he learns to type with a pencil between his teeth.

It's weird. I mean we get 40,000 talented hard working bi-lingual people, many of them highly educated. Plus a handful of lap dancers and cage fighters... and in return Poland gets Cloud.

I'd close my borders if I were them.

Personally I'd rather go to a concentration camp in the 1940s than go to Korova.

If Rod Serling, smoking a cigarette, saunters out from stage left, appears to squint into a camera then utters line immortal line:

"Picture a man who would rather be sent to a 1940s concentration camp that mix with other people in a night club."

Then you are so so so in deep shit my friend!

Noo nee noo noo, Noo nee noo noo.

"You're travelling through another dimension. A dimension, not only of sign and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. Next stop, The Twilight Zone."

mind lads, 23rd (next wednesday), oh yes. Flash, you joining us for a few beers?

Sorry I'm not there on the 23rd, just the 24th and the 31st.

Your avatar gives me nightmares Scorge...

Your avatar gives my pet rabbit nightmares RossP...

Lets make it five in a row...

http://www.aberdeen-music.com/forums/fudgenet/59160-best-venue-2010-fudge-awards.html

It's also the night after 'Feale Friday': the streets shall be paved with vomit and the gutters shall overflow with the blood and piss of a 50,000 white collar office workers.

Best wear your wellies then...

Just picked up the 'North Sea Ale' newsletter while in POW for lunch with the folks...

I noticed there is a listing in the events section saying there's a Xmas social in the Moorings on Sat 19th Dec at 5pm. What exactly does that entail? Tasting sessions? Reduced prices? Or just a bunch of old men in beards, wearing CAMRA t-shirts meeting up?

It's the first day of my 2week holiday, so quite fancy a few early evening drinks

Old men in beards. It's their Christmas get together. But... if you do go down them I'm pretty sure that they will welcome you with open arms and ply you with beer.

The whole frontage is being replaced. The job is only about 1/4 way through. Plus of the new windows is no to the correct spec (the frames don't align and is going to be replaced).

Ultimately there will be two toughened glass windows each with smoked top and bottom section with a clear centre section sporting the pirate logo. Behind these will be sound proofed steel roller shutters. Behind those will be secondary glazing for sound proofing. The external bars will be removed.

The front door is also being replaced and the windows above the door will be smoked glass, aside from the the new door will be a similar hardwood double door design.

All the woodwork will be painted in gloss black.

The broken hanging sign at the side will be replaced with an illuminated Budvar one.

Four A2 size poster holders will adorn the walls outside in place of the rotten chalkboards.

The plastic 'pirate panels' on the inner doors will also be done over.

That's most of it.

I think that they are doing a great job milking the Portman Group for free publicity. I hate the Portman Group because it's made up of the very organisations that have helped bring about the UK's binge drinking problems. This same organisation then chooses to devote considerable resources (do doubt funded by the UK tax payer) to persecute a small responsible brewer. I just love the irony that in attempting to do so they are inadvertently giving Brewdog a leg up. Brewdog is running rings round them LOL.

Please keep telling all your friends

Good God it's turning into a virus.

Signed and will be punted round everywhere else I know, will get it on FB later today as well.

Thanks for that.

Did I hear something about a petition to extend Moorings opening hours...?

Click on my signature.

A bottle of 330ml 18% beer will get you more drunk than a bottle of 330ml 4% beer, if both are drunk over the same time scale.

What you're arguing is that people wouldn't drink Tokyo over the same time scale, and in fact alter their drinking speed to suit the alcohol content.

Speculation over the length of time people in the future will drink at is highly questionable.

It might be highly questionable for robots, but for anyone that has drunk Tokyo it's pretty clear cut - you drink it slower because it's a far richer and more intense flavour. Tokyo has a thicker consistency and tastes a bit like liquorice. If you'd tried to rush it then you'd probably throw up. You don't see many people rushing a Guinness - well this is two orders of magnitude beyond Guinness in terms of richness.

It's also expensive, weighing in at 3x the price of a regular bottle of beer. People buy it to savour, not for a cheap thrill.

Taking this out of the alcohol market for a moment.

Bugatti produce a car that can hit a top speed of 255 miles an hour which is produced in a limited number and costs close to 1 million. Now this is 3.5 times fast then the national speed limit in this country, and most other countries in the world.

Vauxhall mass produce the Corsa which lots of people in this country drive, and is far more likely to be in an accident or caught speeding.

Now using your logic Bugatti are irresponsible for producing a high speed car over Vauxhall's more responsible mass produced lower speed car, despite the fact that the average consumer wouldn't be able to afford to drive the Bugatti.

Please don't dismiss this as being different to the argument you are putting forward, as it really isn't. Your whole argument is 'supposedly' about how we have all been brainwashed into liking this beer over other beers, and i'm sure that all of us would like a Veyron over a Corsa, but all of us know that if we were to drive one we could control ourselves to not constantly drive at 255mph, much like we all like Brewdog products but we couldn't spend the night knocking back 18% beer to get drunk.

Why don't we ask the workers of the Mooring about Delirium Tremens, this is a 9% beer sold in bottles in a bar. Now i'm sure that they get lots of people in to get drunk in as quick as time as possible (the same as most bars on a Friday or Saturday night), but i'm willing to bet that they don't go through cases each Friday and Saturday night because the beer is going to get people more drunk in the same space of time as one regular bottle.

Correct. High strength beers are not really a problem as people only tend to drink one bottle then switch to lighter stuff. I've never seen anyone fucked up drinking the really strong stuff. Likewise with cask beer, if it's a strong one then it's also much more expensive and people tend to drink it more slowly in half pints.

We probably stock and sell more high strength beers than anywhere else in town but we also have probably the lowest incidence of trouble and bad behaviour. The only people you ever saw unconscious in The Moorings were Frank and myself (although I'm now thankfully retired).

Public disorder is down to chain bars buying in cheap vodka and selling doubles for a quid. Minkoff Vodka (I shit you not) at 3.99 per litre being the industry fave.

The root of the problem is people being encouraged to drink higher quantities of alcohol for logarithmically less money. The more you drink the cheaper it gets.

Brewdogs strong beers are very expensive. You don't benefit from any discount if you buy larger quantities of them.

There is also a misconception about strength in terms of %ABV. What counts is not the quantity nor the strength that a person consumes... it's the total number of alcoholic units they ingest and what that does to their blood alcohol level.

Absinthe is 72%ABV. Minkoff is 37.5%ABV (almost half). Absinthe is sold as 25ml and diluted with 4 parts water leading to a solution that is 14.4%ABV and 125ml of volume. Minkoff is doubled up to 50ml diluted with 1.5 parts diet cola leading to a solution that is 15% and 125ml of volume. The absinthe therefore equates to 1.8 units (same as a bottle of Stella) and the Minkoff weighs in at 1.875 units, slightly more. The Absinthe costs 4 and the Minkoff costs 1.50. The cost per unit of the Absinthe is 2.22, the cost per unit of the Minkoff is 80p. The Minkoff was manufactured by diluting a tanker of 100% industrial ethanol with 1.5 tankers of water. The absinthe was handcrafted in small batches by a master brewer/distiller from 60 odd different herbs. 25 will buy you enough Minoff to end your life. To kill yourself with absinthe would cost you 67.

I rest my case!

Will link to it on The Kiosque later today too.

Thanks for that

We are planning to apply for later opening times at the weekends under the terms of the new licensing act. To this end we've done a lot of work over the course of the past two years preparing for this eventuality.

I have started an on-line petition that you can sign if you'd like to see our opening hours extended. If we can garner a lot of support then it may help our cause.

The plan is for our Sunday - Thursday hours to remain unchanged but to open until 3am on Fridays and Saturdays. Live music would continue at the weekends, but would cease before 1am, with alternative DJs taking over until close.

The petition is here:

Extended Opening Hours for The Moorings Bar in Aberdeen Petition