the mart of darkness

erm, hello. we kinda need people with vocal "talents" to "perform" in the recording of our xmas panto. same as last year, only this year we'll actually do it, cos we might've finished writing it. it'll most likely involve large periods of sitting around doing fuck all, with sporadic periods of drinking, smoking, laughing till you're sick, and saying a few lines into a microphone. plus you get to sing as part of the fudge xmas choir. some particular talents we're loking for include: clueso-esque french accent outrageously camp julian clary style voice a good lisp northern england accents - brummie, geordie, that sorta thing a good cartman voice stutter a nice, well spoken narrator kinda voice weegie ned probly some other perfectly normal voices would be handy... if you would be interested and avaialble all day on saturday 15th novemeber, reply here or pm me with some contact details of some sort, plus any particular "skill" you have. its all a laff innit, and it won't be getting performed anywhere, just recorded. xxx

the 26th??!!? no no no no no! bri said the 22nd! don't do this to me!

cock.

yees yes yes!

motherfuck. bri just told me this is cancelled cos craigs double-booked it with the moshulu thing. so we're playing moshulu instead. and i've been dying to play embra again. its been about 10 fucking years since the subway cowgate saw our like... how we regaled them with bad covers of supersonic and suchlike. and we met force ten bob, who are of course the cunts in a van.

oh, we're still playing that are we? i take it it won't be the drunken gig though? please? i wanna be able to get pissed too...

hypocrite my fucking arse, cunto.